My Dad, near the end of his life, told me that the only thing that really matters is love. The Dalai Lama frequently says, "my religion is kindness." The main characteristic of people with post-traumatic growth (those filled with joy, though they have a very short time to live) is that they strongly prioritize intimacy with loved ones.
Hardship CAN teach us to stop wasting our short, precious life "looking for love in all the wrong places" and instead, focus on the deeply meaningful - what really matters.
Kindness by Naomi Shihab Nye
Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken will stare out the
Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness, you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans and the simple
breath that kept
Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside, you
must know sorrow
as the other deepest thing. You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day
to mail letters and purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
it is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you every where
like a shadow or a friend.
"Ticket Without a Seat"
3-minute Academy Award winning animation