There are always reasonable explanations for any inappropriate behaviour, including being judgmental. But preservation or promotion of one's own ego seems to be at the core of most inappropriate behaviour. If one makes a mistake, it's very difficult to accept it fully, make appropriate amends, and move on.
Those who "catch" & penalize the "offender" are themselves invariably far short of sainthood, & tend to capitalize on their moment of "being right". This of course leads to an ugly seething ego battle (instead of an intelligent, mature, moral resolution). While nobody "wins" such battles, the losses can be tragic.
The stronger the sense of "I'm right & they're wrong" the more "adversarial" the situation becomes & the more deeply one gets burried in one's own hell - the circular maze of the ego. There is NO clear perspective here. Mediation typically is rejected out of hand "because I've done nothing wrong", "I'm the victim here", "I have my rights", etc etc etc. Hitting rock bottom is often the only way out. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/search?q=being+right
Consistently evolved adult behaviour is rare. Each of us is directly & solely responsible for our own slow evolution of consciousness, every moment of our short life.
|Rudy Pohl http://www.flickr.com/photos/rudypohl/sets/|