How often have we focused all or most of our hopes, attention and efforts on a particular goal, assuming it will make us happy (like a child craving an ice cream cone)? Each time we do, we give the rest of our (real) life - as it rushes past - far less than the love and attention it needs. And of course we're left dissatisfied - from chasing nonsense, missing out on the fullness of our life, probably both.
Narrow-focused goal-orientation feels like chasing or being chased, anxious striving, tightness in the heart-mind. "Now sucks ... but wait till I achieve / get X - oh then it will be perfect!" No it never is.
When we manage to be equanimous - and it does happen at times - neither highs nor lows feel extreme; we're not bent out of shape. Our heart remains open to all experience. Like an adult eating ice cream, it's nice, but far from transcendent bliss. Likewise, unpleasant events are not tragic upheavals either - perhaps because we didn't have all our hopes riding on the event.
An embracing sense of kindness opens towards life in general. There's a feeling of being at home with everything and everyone. Nowhere to go, nothing to accomplish - other than to be of service - being appropriate to the needs of those around us.
None of this is a "should" - it all comes in its own time. What is your mind-heart saying?
|Martha in her domain.|