You can't say "Here's the bad stuff. Here's vulnerability, here's grief, here's shame, here's fear, here's disappointment - I don't want to feel these. I'm going to have a couple of beers & a banana-nut muffin. I don't want to feel these." You can't numb those hard feelings without (simultaneously) numbing the other affects or emotions - you cannot selectively numb.
So when we numb those, we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness, and then we are miserable, and we're looking for purpose & meaning. And then we feel vulnerable, and then we have a couple of beers & a banana-nut muffin. And it becomes this dangerous cycle.
One of the things we have to think about is why & how we numb."
Brene Brown PhD, from her (20min) TEDtalk below