Tuesday, May 6, 2025

Sweet Lullaby of Routine and Comfort

"In this world
we walk on the roof of hell,
gazing at flowers."

Kobayashi Issa (1763-1827)
 

“Take away the fear,
only love remains.” 

John McKay, Whole Foods CEO

     It's remarkable how often we wrongly assume that if something comes naturally & feels comfortable then it has to be what we need.  

    A good friend in university would, as soon as he sat down with a book in the library, put his face down on the book and be fast asleep until it was time to leave. When I mentioned this as a potentially serious problem, he'd rationalize this as a necessity. Sleeping felt more comfortable than studying.

    The basis of all our procrastination, intellectual bypassing, & other forms of avoidance is fear. One of the world's most celebrated extreme skiers has this advice:

    "... put down those books that are trying to help you understand or rationalize Fear, and stop, at least for now, expecting a definition of what I even mean by Fear, except you know it when you feel it. Because those intellectual desires only keep you in your head and make your experience with it more diluted & lost. Let’s focus instead on what does work, which is feeling and experiencing Fear, the way a rider intimately feels & experiences a horse.”
    ... become a warrior. This is about turning away from your old belief that Fear is a hindrance and walking in the opposite direction, toward recognizing that Fear is not only an asset and an ally, but one of the greatest experiences you’ll have in your lifetime
.
    If
you’re willing to enter into such unknown territory, the changes that will occur in your life and the new views you have will be shocking. At some point, you will even arrive at a place where you are truly free.
    Whatever cement you’ve been encased in will finally be gone.

    
Kristen Ulmer. “The Art of Fear: Why Conquering Fear Won’t Work and What to Do Instead.” Harper Wave, 2018.

    "The spirit of evil is negation of the life force by fear. Only boldness can deliver us from fear. And if the risk is not taken, the meaning of life is violated."
Carl Jung 1912


    “The loss of a sense of being is the most serious side effect of the quantified, commodified, & industrialized life we have manufactured in recent times.

    As
 Mary Shelley describes so precisely in her metaphor of the monster (the commodified & industrialized person), we live in an age when schools and businesses stitch together the fragments of a personality and call it a human being, useful for production. But when Frankenstein’s monster one day witnesses the tender emotions of a family and begins to read the great poets, he can no longer bear his monstrosity. He becomes aware of the distance between his manufactured self and his sublime possibilities.”
    Thomas Moore. “Original Self. Living with Paradox and Authenticity.” HarperCollins, 2000. 

 
    “By adulthood, we have developed sophisticated psychological strategies & patterns to deal with the uncertainties & unpredictability of life. These strategies shape the person we become and, unfortunately, can do so in increasingly limiting and rigid ways. … our capacity for adaptation & change also slows & freezes. … limitations that actually accentuate our suffering. Life then presents us with a further challenge
.
    Are
we ready & willing to wake up, to let go & open to our intrinsically fleeting, illusory nature and allow ourselves to change? If we do not do so willingly, then it is inevitable that life circumstances will eventually demand that we face ourselves & shed the skin of our limiting self-conceptions to discover our true nature. Some may take up this challenge, this call, while others choose to do otherwise.

    The intellect is one dimension of ego control that dominates many individuals, particularly men. This form of ego control can be expressed as a kind of arrogance that believes it is always possible to find an intellectual, scientific, rational answer that will give a sense of security. When the intellect provides a rational answer to what is going on, it creates a sense of being in control and, therefore, safe. Refuge in the intellect serves us to some degree but eventually becomes painfully inadequate.
    One
man I knew who suffered this habit was able to use his intellect to rationalize every aspect of his emotional life in such a way that he had created an intellectual armor that was almost impenetrable. His capacity to intellectually dodge and weave to avoid real contact with both his feelings and his existential fear gave him a sense of invulnerability. The challenge came when his intellectual defense began to show its limitations. As he looked through the cracks that appeared, he could see that in order to resolve his emotional and existential predicament, he would need to simply surrender his ego’s precarious position. Suddenly he could see that all of his 'understanding' was actually an obstacle to direct experience. He stood on the edge of a precipice and knew he needed to leap. His intellectual knowledge had pushed him up to the edge & left him stranded.
    This was his moment of surrender, when he knew he needed to actually let go & jump: he needed to commit himself to the process. He could see that his intellectual knowledge was a defense against real commitment. To step across this threshold, however, required that he relinquish his pride in the capacity to always find a solution that closed even the smallest chink in his reality. Essentially his intellect was finally failing him, which was terrifying. As his mind began to release its grip, rather than going insane, as he feared, he did not disappear. He felt that he began to open to a more relaxed, more present, more spacious quality that could bear the paradoxes of his existence without panic.”

    Preece R. “The Wisdom of Imperfection. The Challenge of Individuation in Buddhist Life.” Snow Lion Publications, 2006.

    If something bursts in from another reality, that’s a regrettable embarrassment to recover from as quickly as possible; to rationalize away with our skillful choice of labels & words so we can keep clinging to the thread of what’s most familiar by breaking the thread of the sacred.
    And, of course, this is a problem for everyone without exception because we all need continuity so we at least can seem to function. But even those of us who think we’re most awake are so easily lulled asleep by the sweet lullaby of routine – never quite able to take the next steps needed.”

    
Peter Kingsley “A Book of Life.” Catafalque Press, 2021.


“Staccato signals of constant information
A loose affiliation of millionaires
And billionaires and … ”

Paul Simon "The Boy in the Bubble"


No comments:

Post a Comment