Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts

Sunday, April 19, 2026

A Wise, Potentially Transformative Interview

    While listening to a Michael Neill interview, I discovered the host of nextlevelsoul.com Alex Ferrari. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND listening to this excellent interview, and for those who get more out of reading, there is also a fine transcript: https://nextlevelsoul.com/michael-neill-true-self/ 
    Below is Ferrari's very fine introduction:

"On today’s episode, we welcome Michael Neill, a thoughtful teacher of human consciousness who explores how fear, thought, and misunderstanding keep us from recognizing the deeper intelligence already alive within us. There is a strange habit in human life of assuming that if we feel unsettled, then something somewhere must be wrong. We search the world for the broken piece, and if we cannot find it in our circumstances, we turn inward and decide that the flaw must be in us. This is one of the great tragedies of being human: not that we suffer, but that we so quickly conclude that suffering means we are defective. In this profound conversation, Michael Neill opens a gentler door, one that does not ask us to become something else, but to notice what we already are beneath the noise.

There is something almost comical about the way we chase fulfillment, as if peace were hiding behind one more success, one more achievement, one more perfect moment in which the world finally arranges itself according to our preferences. We are taught this from an early age. We are told to improve, optimize, correct, and repair ourselves until we become worthy of rest. Yet the deeper wisdom of life suggests something else entirely. It suggests that beneath all the frantic movement of the mind, there is already a quiet wholeness, untouched by our personal dramas. The tragedy is not that this wholeness is far away, but that it is so close, so ever-present, that we overlook it while searching for fireworks in the distance.

What struck me most in this conversation was the way he dismantled the illusion of brokenness with such grace and precision. He spoke about how many people spend their lives trying to fix what was never actually damaged in the first place. That lands deeply, because so much of modern life is built on convincing us that we are lacking. If we are not enough, then we can be sold the promise of becoming enough. If we are not healed, we can be sold the process. If we are not awakened, we can be sold the map. But as he so beautifully implied, the map is often mistaken for the territory, and the territory itself is already alive beneath our feet. Or as he said so simply and powerfully, “we’re obsessed with the mess, and we miss the amazing bit.”

There is also a spiritual maturity in the way he speaks of success, because he does not condemn it, nor does he worship it. He simply sees it for what it is: neutral. Success can be a beautiful expression of inner alignment, or it can be a desperate attempt to patch an invisible wound. The world often celebrates the outer result without asking what energy created it. And that is why so many people can arrive at the summit, only to discover they are still haunted by the same insecurity they had at the bottom of the mountain. If inner poverty remains, no amount of applause can make one feel rich. This is why some of the most outwardly celebrated souls remain inwardly restless. They have achieved the dream the world handed them, but not the peace their own spirit was asking for.

As the conversation deepened, we moved into the nature of spirit itself, and here the waters became beautifully clear. He described spirit not as an ideology, religion, or special category reserved for monks and mystics, but as the formless intelligence from which life itself arises. That insight alone can loosen a thousand years of misunderstanding. To say that one is spiritual is almost redundant, because one cannot be anything else. The wave may forget the ocean, but it is never separate from it. The body moves, the mind chatters, the personality performs its little dance, yet beneath all of it there remains a stillness that does not come and go. It is there in joy, there in sorrow, there in confusion, and there in clarity. The mind may scream that life is unstable, but spirit remains as it always has been—silent, spacious, and complete.

What I also loved was his refusal to deny the darker side of human experience while still insisting on a deeper truth underneath it. This is not naive spirituality dressed in pleasant language. It is not pretending that cruelty does not exist or that human beings never lose themselves in violence, greed, or fear. Rather, it is the understanding that when people are deeply lost, they act from that lostness. That does not excuse harmful behavior, but it does illuminate it. It helps us see that confusion creates suffering, and suffering passed through an unconscious mind becomes suffering inflicted on others. The wisdom here is not in becoming passive, but in recognizing that if we only fight darkness as darkness, we will remain trapped in the same dream that created it. Something far more transformative happens when one begins to see beyond the behavior, to the misunderstanding beneath it.

Again and again, the conversation returned to trust. Not lazy trust, not wishful thinking, but a living trust in the intelligence of life itself. We have become so accustomed to strategizing our way through existence that we mistake anxiety for wisdom. We assume that if we worry enough, calculate enough, and control enough, we will finally become safe. But life has never offered that bargain. The river does not ask us to control its currents. It asks us to learn how to float. That is why one of the deepest revelations in this episode is the reminder that fear and awareness are not the same thing. Awareness is clean, direct, present. Fear is the mind trying to outmaneuver life before life has even happened. And from that misunderstanding, entire identities are built.

Perhaps that is why conversations like this feel so necessary now. So much of the old world is trembling. Institutions, identities, and assumptions that once seemed immovable are cracking before our eyes. And while the mind interprets this as catastrophe, spirit often uses collapse as invitation. When the false begins to fall away, the real has a chance to be seen. What remains after the noise is not emptiness, but presence. Not despair, but a deeper kind of sanity. And maybe that is the hidden grace in all of this: that when we finally tire of trying to fix the movie, we may at last turn and notice the light behind it.

SPIRITUAL TAKEAWAYS

  • Much of human suffering comes from the mistaken belief that we are fundamentally broken
  • True spirituality is not something to attain, but something we already are
  • Peace begins when we trust life more than the anxious strategies of the mind

So in the end, what lingers is not merely a set of ideas, but a softer way of meeting life. A way that does not demand perfection before peace, or certainty before surrender. It reminds us that beneath all striving, beneath all self-judgment, beneath all the endless noise of becoming, there is already a presence quietly waiting to be noticed. And once it is noticed, even for a moment, life begins to feel less like a battle and more like a sacred unfolding.

Please enjoy my conversation with Michael Neill." "Connecting To Your True Self" https://nextlevelsoul.com/michael-neill-true-self/  


 

Monday, February 9, 2026

Radical Acceptance IS Freedom

     We all hold firm to the ideas we've - mostly unconsciously - formulated that are essentially survival strategies. A few of these are important & useful throughout life; while most are just life lessons in various disguises
    And
 yet, our old dogmatic rules for life can keep us imprisoned in a tight little box, fearing that even examining & questioning them consciously is to risk death & eternal damnation. Of course it's far easier to see such rigidity of speech & behavior in others
    We
 might clue in to our own imprisonment whenever our anger is suddenly triggered, when we refuse to look deeper into, consider alternative ways of thinking about, or further discuss certain ideas. Religion, politics & personal finance seem to be common no-go zones - triggers for rigid little box certainties

    At the bottom of the page is imho Helen Hamilton's most valuable guide to help us experience freedom from unnecessary suffering
    Fully
 90-95% of our suffering is unnecessary because we unwittingly bring it upon ourselves by rejecting parts of reality we don't want, and by clinging to parts of reality that we do want. The mind only understands controlling our environment, even when it cannot be controlled - which makes no sense & of course causes prolonged, unnecessary suffering
    Especially
those who've had a great deal of success controlling life using the mind, may find it very counterintuitive & almost impossible to shift from our common hyper-rational, head-centered operating system to a supra-rational (NOT irrational), spiritual heart-centered one. We may have to suffer needlessly, for a very long time before we allow ourselves to make this ESSENTIAL SHIFT.
    Helen
 skillfully guides us to radically accept ALL of REALITY - saying: "Yes to everything! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUOtVI_LnUU

    "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
    Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
    It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us."
Marianne Williamson

    “There are only two ways to live your life.
    One is as though nothing is a miracle.
    The other is as though
    everything is a miracle.” 
Albert Einstein 

    "The Great Way is not difficult
    for those who have no preferences..." 
Sengstan 

    "The light within you, when resolutely recognized in all circumstances, has the capacity to embrace everything. This uncompromising acceptance is, in fact, your true nature." Amoda Maa 

    "There never was a time when you or I did not exist.
     Nor will there be any future when we shall cease to be."
Bhagavad Gita

 
    As soon as we're ready to let go of fearful certainties, the spacious mystery of who / what we truly areactual reality awaits!


    "Try to be mindful, & let things take their natural course. Then your mind will become still in any surroundings, like a clear forest pool. All kinds of wonderful, rare animals will come to drink at the pool, and you will clearly see the nature of all things. You will see many strange & wonderful things come & go, but you will be still. This is the happiness of the Buddha."
Ajahn Chah

"We are stars wrapped in skin.
The light you are seeking
has always been within.
"
Rumi

 

 Helen Hamilton's MOST VALUABLE teaching - listen to ALL of it


Tuesday, November 25, 2025

What CAN We Do?

    I'm sure I'm not alone wanting a wisebig-picture overview of life, so I can live my best life.
    M
ystics of all wisdom traditions, passed & living, are connected to & share this wisdom

    One of the wisest quotes I've come across:  
    
"The most important question to ask ourselves, according to Einstein
    'Is
 the universe a friendly place or not?' ... If we believe that the universe is unfriendly ... peace will be elusive at best.
    Joan Borysenko. “Fire in the Soul. A New Psychology of Spiritual Optimism.” Warner Books, 1993. 

    Even intelligent, educated people seem overwhelmed by mysticism for many reasons. First and foremost, our culture is by and large ignorant about mystics & mysticism. Our "consumer society" trains us to buy as much as possible as fast as possible, "greed is good," even after 9/11 George W. told Americans to show the world what they're made of, "Go shopping!" We're starving on a restricted diet of junk food (shallow materialistic concerns), and don't even know the vocabulary of nutrition (metaphysics, spirituality). We fear what we don't know, and procrastinate & otherwise avoid learning about it.

    "Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less."
    Marie Curie, Nobel Prizes in Physics, & Chemistry 

   "... relax, allow life to be as it is, & open your heart to yourself. It’s easier than you might think, and it could change your life.
    Kristin Neff. “Self-Compassion. The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself.” HarperCollins, 2011. 

 
      "I was born
       when all I once feared
       I could love.”
                    Rabia Basri 

      "Once we are willing to be directly intimate with our life as it arises, joy emerges out of the simplest of life experiences." Roshi Pat Enkyo O'Hara 

      During meditation “you are not escaping the world; you are getting ready to fully embrace it.”
Christine Skarda  

     "To be enlightened is to be intimate with all things." Zen Master Dogen   

    SO, what CAN we do? Not should, not must - although our time as individual mortal beings, as well as a species is running out - but absolutely CAN do, because wisdom that is IN ALL of US, the wisdom that is in fact who/what we actually are, is amazingly what we mostly, and in some almost entirely, have forgotten.
    H
ere's some of what I've understood from the many imho wise elders I've been reading about, listening to on the web, occasionally meeting, and more recently, blogging about: 

 

    Don't Judge. Every day we see outrageous, disgusting behavior on the news. It's disorienting to see how almost half of the US population fervently supports behavior, that in a few years (as Germans did after WWII) they will categorically deny having even known anything about it. So it's hard not to judge terrible behavior
    But
 from a much higher, non-dual perspective, what if we're each born to play a certain role, with a certain set of talents, a certain set of limitations & no matter how wonderful or horrible it appeared, we all did our best. And what if most of our ridiculous behavior was because most (but mercifully not all) of us completely forgot that we took on our role freely, including the fact that we are actually producers & executive directors of the entire play - almost identical to the Jesus being fully human and fully Divine story, except the he had almost complete recall of who he actually was, where he came from, and where he would return to.
    Bewildered
? This blog & its video might help: http://www.johnlovas.com/2023/01/the-nearly-unforgivables.html 

 

     Be Discerning. Many of us spend a great deal of time watching / listening to the news & comments about the news. While it's important to perhaps watch / listen to the CBC or BBC news for 30 minutes a day, much more than that is probably masochistic or even an addiction. Doing more & more of what makes you feel sick is not a recipe for optimal healthy.
    Instead
 of a steady diet of psychopathic politicians, billionaires, "influencers", and other nightmare visions, for the sake of sanity - how about reading about and listening to wise elders? My blogs are all about inspiring, mature, healthy, wise role models, like: 

    James Finley: http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=James+Finley .

    Helen Hamilton: http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=Helen+Hamilton 

    Rainer Maria Rilke: http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=Rilke . 

    Robert A. Johnson: http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=Robert+A.+Johnson

    Rami Shapiro: http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=Rami+Shapiro . 

    Richard Rohr: http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=Richard+Rohr 

    Henry Shukman: http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=Henry+Shukman  

    John Welwood: http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=John+Welwood .

    Toni Packer: http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=Toni+Packer

    Ram Dass: http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=Ram+Dass .

    James Hollis: http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=James+Hollis . 

    Roger Walsh: http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=Roger+Walsh .

    David Whyte: http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=David+Whyte .

    Norman Fischer: http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=Norman+Fischer .

    David Steindl-Rast: http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=David+Steindl-Rast

and MANY MORE wise elders to learn from & be inspired by

    It's OUR CHOICE - our free will - whether we immerse ourselves in wisdom - OR - in darkness. "Too busy", yet doomscrolling for hours each day?; is this wisdom stuff "too deep" or "too confusing", and again, "just too busy" to get into it and learn? You can procrastinate and aim at best for feeling superficially OK, "ordinary unhappiness" - OR - discover what life is really about.

 

    Learn & Do Spiritual Practices.  Theory is important BUT not enough. We need to intentionally PRACTICE shifting from being fearful consumer robots to becoming wise elder human beings.
    Our
 culture is not big on "practices." Some of us might admire the dedication it takes to become world class athletes, dancers, surgeons etc, but most of us just don't have the dedication to put in the time & effort
    The
 ONE area where ALL of us would massively benefit is putting in dedicated time & effort into spiritual practice: http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=spiritual+practice 

 

    Be a Nurturing Presence. Only by waking up to who/what we truly are, can we help instead of hinder others to wake up and help others
    “… we have to allow our higher nature to show before we can do anything real, before we can be truly responsible people.”
 Jiyu-Kennett. “The Wild, White Goose. The Diary of a Female Zen Priest.” ed 2. Shasta Abbey Press. 2002.

 

    Be Humble. The ego is a tricky, sticky, persistent trickster. We must regularly check our own BS-meter. A common problem is assuming a massive group ego - thinking one can do even horrible things because "I'm doing God's work." But such "crazy wisdom" is just crazy. To paraphrase Forest Gump, "Crazy is as crazy does.
    Humility, gentleness, empathy, wisdom & kindness are rarely promoted or even recognized in our consumer culture & partisan religions. 

 

     Learn Self-compassion. The tough, aggressively self-reliant, workaholic individual is venerated these days, while a decent, nurturing, humble person would be branded "a loser" by today's dictators & billionaire CEOs. So decent human beings need to intentionally practice self-compassion, in order to survive & be effective in today's crass, superficial, heartless environment.

 

    Practice Self-awareness. With self-awareness practice, your talk & your walk are kept aligned. Again, humility is crucial
    "
Self-inquiry" is a specialized, key, self-awareness practice: http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=Self-inquiry 

 

    Become More Discerning, More Self-compassionate. The more neuroses & "story of me" burdens we shed, the more clearly we see ourselves & what's going on around us. The more clearly we see, the more magnified our remaining (though diminishing) neuroses & other burdens appear to us, so it can seem like we're regressing instead of "getting ahead." So we need more self-compassion & patience with ourself.
    
Felt reality is invariably wept reality, and wept reality is soon compassion and kindness. Decisive and harsh judgments slip away in the tracks of tears. And when we cry, we are revealing our truest, most loving self.” Richard Rohr. “The Tears of Things: Prophetic Wisdom for an Age of Outrage” Convergent Books, 2025.

  

     Live in Joy. Gradually, you will be progressively more peaceful & joyful, regardless of the many challenges & sorrows in your own & loved ones' life, as well as that of the human race. The major, even crippling burden that you will shed is your identification with & constant rehashing of your own 'story of me' AS WELL AS its twin, the constant anxiety of 'what will happen to me?' and of course, vividly imagining the worst possibilities. As this HEAVY PSYCHOLOGIC BURDEN starts to lift, you start to experience 'the peace that surpasses all understanding' ie it must be experienced to be understood. Even this has, if you will, a 'dark side': while you'll see as your own past, no matter how miserable, as just a story, your empathy towards others (even actors playing a sad role in a movie) becomes progressively more powerful. Your job now is embodying peace & joy modeling equanimity even in the midst of chaos, when it's the most essential.

    "This is actually instruction from the Buddha, where he says, ‘Live in joy, in love, even among those who hate. Live in joy, in health, even among the afflicted. Live in joy and peace, even among the troubled. Look within. Be still, free from fears and attachments. Know the sweet joy of living in the way things are in the Way, the Dharma.' 
    And
 so this is also a challenge. He doesn’t say, let’s get rid of disease and all these problems, but to find a joyful way to be alive amidst it all.”
    
Jack Kornfield - Finding Your Self on the Spiritual Path - Point of Relation with Thomas Hübl https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Fjz7WaTyX4 WONDERFUL MATURE WISDOM - Jack Kornfield at his best

    And some 500 years later, in another incarnation of the Divine, Jesus said, "the poor will always be with us." Fixating on quickly eliminating age-old problems is in itself problematic, akin to "seeing a splinter in another's eye," again from Jesus, advising that we should first address our own significant flaws (‘the beam’ in our own eye) before attempting to correct / "save" others.



“The teachings on Buddha Nature do not mean that there is some nucleus of Buddhhood enclosed in sentient beings 
behind the temporary obscuring stains. 
Rather, our whole existence as sentient beings is in itself 
the sum of temporary stains that float like clouds in the infinite, bright sky of Buddha Nature, the luminous, open expanse 
of our mind that has no limits or boundaries
Once these clouds dissolve from the warm rays of the sun 
of wisdom shining in this space, 
nothing within sentient beings has been freed or developed, 
but there is just this radiant expanse without any reference points of cloud-like sentient beings or cloud-free Buddhas." 
Sthiramati, 6th century Indian Buddhist scholar-monk
 
 

     Watching David Ditchfield's 40-minute BBC interview about his Near-Death Experience (NDE) is imho wise use of your precious time: https://www.shineonthestory.com/ 

 



Sunday, November 2, 2025

Not Separate!

    "There is something in all of us that seeks the spiritual … 

     The spiritual is inclusive. It is the deepest sense of belonging & participation. We all participate in the spiritual at all times, whether we know it or not. There’s no place to go to be separated from the spiritual, so perhaps one might say that the spiritual is that realm of human experience which religion attempts to connect us to through dogma & practice. 

    Sometimes it succeeds and sometimes it fails. Religion is a bridge to the spiritual — but the spiritual lies beyond religion. Unfortunately, in seeking the spiritual we may become attached to the bridge rather than crossing over it."      Rachel Naomi Ramen MD

 

    More and more brave, intelligent adults are freeing themself from religious & secular orthodoxies, evolving & awakening into their authentic, maturespiritually-independent Self


     “We write here in conversation with Rilke and each other, opening to a ‘wiser way’ than is more generally offered in our hectic, demanding societies, where individuality is so highly praised and our inevitable interconnectedness is so poorly understood. It might well enable you to ground your life in what the ancients knew as the ‘transcendentals’: ‘the true, the good, and the beautiful.’ Those are the collective attributes we find singly and learn to live socially
     Rilke suggests in one of his early poems that ‘you are the future.’ You
    
Is it the ‘you’ of the divine one Rilke often addressed simply as ‘Lord’ but equally call ‘neighbor’ or ‘friend’? Is it the ‘you’ of the poet himself? Or the ‘you’ of the reader? Rilke refused, characteristically, to define whom he is addressing. For in the deepest things in life, the truest things of the heart, the most enduring things of the soul, these three are not different. Not distinct. Not separable
    You are the future.”

     Mark S. Burrows, Stephanie Dowrick. “You are the Future. Living the Questions with Rainer Maria Rilke.” Monkfish, 2024.

    It's fascinating to frequently hear a wide variety of spiritual experiences in which the experiencers are completely surprised by their experience, that it was nothing at all what they expected. Indeed one may be at a complete loss to identify the source of a powerful, authoritative voice, that neither quite sounded as if it were God, nor themself
    And
many decades later, the awe remains ... and probably there is no difference, no distinction, no separation between Self and God.

    We CAN pull up our big adult spiritual pants and
stop
 externalizing the Divine!

 

"Every Day, Think As You Wake Up
Today I Am Fortunate To Have Woken Up, 
I Am Alive, I Have A Precious Human Life, 
I Am Not Going To Waste It 
I Am Going To Use 
All My Energies To Develop Myself, 
To Expand My Heart Out To Others, 
To Achieve Enlightenment For 
The Benefit Of All Beings
I Am Going To Have Kind Thoughts Toward Others... 
I Am Going To Benefit 
Others
As Much As I Can."

H.H. The Dalai Lama

 

Courtesy of Buddha Doodles  www.buddhadoodles.com

Thursday, October 2, 2025

Hope, Courage, Patience, Perseverance

    "I believe that there’s an intelligence, a spiritual power that I don’t understand. I call it God because I don’t know what else to call this great spiritual power. It gives me strength
    I’ve
 also had amazing times alone in nature when for a moment you forget you’re human. Your humanness goes away, and you’re part of that natural world. It’s the most amazing and wonderful and beautiful feeling .....
    Traditional faith will have you believe in a loving God, and when I look at what’s happening on the planet, I think if there is a God like that, is he playing with us? Are we living in some great experiment? How can you believe in a loving God when you see the horrors that are perpetrated against nature, against animals, against each other? I sometimes think it is like an experiment which has culminated in this strange, confused creature that is human beings, and we seem to be lost. Who are we? What are we? Why are we here
? I don’t know what the meaning of life is
    The
 meaning of my life is to give people hope because without hope you give up."  
    Jane
 Goodall PhD 1934-2025 

    There's a lot to unpack in Jane Goodall's heart-felt words. So what does she mean by "amazing times alone in nature when for a moment you forget you’re human"
    I
 understand that momentarily forgetting you're human refers to going beyond or deeper than your surface identity of name, address, history, likes / dislikes, virtues / neuroses etc, and opening up to / remembering our primal intimate Oneness & Source.      

    Goodall clearly contrasts what many of us see as human civilization blindly rushing towards self-destruction, with her sense that there is still hope, because human beings are also capable of experiencing, nurturing & sharing awe, wonder, & beauty

    Iain McGilchrist has been clearly explaining how human society's current tendency is "left-hemisphere-dominant" - seeing the world in a very pragmatic, abstract, detached, transactional manner: seeing only lumber when looking at a great forest, seeing only mining opportunities when looking at a majestic mountain, seeing only harvesting of fish, oil & natural gas when looking at the great oceans - focused only on what they can quickly grab for short-term gain for themselves. Some, much like the tobacco industry a few decades ago, flatly deny that this way of seeing is "perpetrating horrors against nature, against animals, against each other." Many CEOs, populist politicians / dictators, billionaires, etc CAN BE clever, AND YET display no evidence at all of wisdom

    From a neuroscience perspective, McGilchrist would say that we are able to see things in balanced way when the left-hemisphere's exclusive emphasis on grabbing, controlling & surviving is not running the whole show. One way to facilitate a balanced, healthy, holistic perspective is being alone (and at peace) in nature. Then we more easily appreciate the right-hemisphere's way of seeing the world: appreciating our intimate inter-connectedness with everyone & everything, love, beauty, truth, the arts, mystery, spirituality, meaning, metaphor, humor, paradox, etc - AS WELL AS - using the practicallimited role of the left-hemisphere
    To
 have a clearer understanding of these two, ideally complementary ways of seeing and being in the world, I highly recommend one of McGilchrist's many excellent interviews, eg: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuqz0MO9mX0

    To paraphrase Einstein, our (left-hemisphere dominant) way of seeing / level consciousness that got us into this dire mess CANNOT possibly lift us out of it, into a better future. Our exclusive left-hemisphere ways: estranged, adversarial relationship with our own hearts, each other & Nature is what's so painfully unnatural & unsustainable
    Chronic
 fear, anxiety & anger has for too long, been drowning out our patience, wisdom & kindness. We desperately need to cultivate a FAR wiser balance.

    So can we gain some freedom from chronic fear & anxiety - when "being well-adjusted to a toxic situation is no measure of health"
    Well
, we know that our executive function is easily shut down when we're stressed - ie stress tends to impair good judgment
    We
 also know that many are able to operate under high-stress life-or-death situations with amazing calm & competence: fire-fighters, police officers, paramedics, surgeons, psychiatrists, air traffic controllers, pilots, military personnel, martial artists, etc. 

    Common knowledge would incorrectly tell us that our level of stress is directly proportional to the degree to which we lack total control of our present situation
    Actually
, our level of stress is mostly based on catastrophizing ie anxiously, vividly imagining the worst possible future outcome, which very rarely if ever materializes and / or being stuck re-living the past.
    The
 secret of the "grace under pressure" exemplified by fire-fighters etc is staying in the reality of the present moment and responding appropriately. Clearly, knowledge, training & practice in knowing what to do in challenging present situations is a basic necessity ALONG WITH knowing how to remain present, focused & grounded ie Mindful.

    Mindfulness training IS PRACTICING staying in the reality of the present moment and responding appropriatelyIt's best started under stress-free conditions eg being peacefully alone in nature, or in your own home away from distractions. Start by sitting, standing or lying down and remaining still, for a set period of time eg just 5 minutes at first, with eyes closed, and just quietly observe what goes on, mainly inside of you. 

    "All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone."  Blaise Pascal, French philosopher

     With patience, a bit of courage, and a lot of perseverance, a sustained regular practice will result in you being able to remain surprisingly calm, grounded & wisely responsive (rather than impulsively reactive in a way that everyone will later regret) to even the most serious challenges. You will also learn humility & empathy for yourself & others, because you will remain perfectly imperfect. Interestingly & a bit annoyingly, after decades of practice, you too might find major challenges surprisingly easy to accept, yet small, meaningless events might still briefly provoke you. 

    So this is a life-long practice, with continual growth in wisdom, and less & less sabotaging interference by neuroses & traumas. Your quality of life, and the quality of life of those around you, will definitely progressively improve well beyond your current understanding.

“We are not isolated individuals. 
We are cells in the body of humanity, and what we do to one another we do to ourselves. 
The new story is one of interdependence, shared purpose, and sacred relationship with all Life.” 
Nancy B. Roof PhD 1929-2025

 

Another World is Possible www.kosmosjournal.org