Radical Acceptance IS Freedom

     We all hold firm to the ideas we've - mostly unconsciously - formulated that are essentially survival strategies. A few of these are important & useful throughout life; while most are just life lessons in various disguises. 
    And yet, our old dogmatic rules for life can keep us imprisoned in a tight little box, fearing that even examining & questioning them consciously is to risk death & eternal damnation. Of course it's far easier to see such rigidity of speech & behavior in others. 
    We might clue in to our own imprisonment whenever our anger is suddenly triggered, when we refuse to look deeper into, consider alternative ways of thinking about, or further discuss certain ideas. Religion, politics & personal finance seem to be common no-go zones - triggers for rigid little box certainties. 

    At the bottom of the page is imho Helen Hamilton's most valuable guide to help us experience freedom from unnecessary suffering. 
    Fully 90-95% of our suffering is unnecessary because we unwittingly bring it upon ourselves by rejecting parts of reality we don't want, and by clinging to parts of reality that we do want. The mind only understands controlling our environment, even when it cannot be controlled - which makes no sense & of course causes prolonged, unnecessary suffering. 
    Especially those who've had a great deal of success controlling life using the mind, may find it very counterintuitive & almost impossible to shift from our common hyper-rational, head-centered operating system to a supra-rational (NOT irrational), spiritual heart-centered one. We may have to suffer needlessly, for a very long time before we allow ourselves to make this ESSENTIAL SHIFT.
    Helen skillfully guides us to radically accept ALL of REALITY - saying: "Yes to everything!” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUOtVI_LnUU

    "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
    Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
    It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us." Marianne Williamson

    “There are only two ways to live your life.
    One is as though nothing is a miracle.
    The other is as though
    everything is a miracle.” Albert Einstein 

    "The Great Way is not difficult
    for those who have no preferences..." Sengstan 

    "The light within you, when resolutely recognized in all circumstances, has the capacity to embrace everything. This uncompromising acceptance is, in fact, your true nature." Amoda Maa 

    "There never was a time when you or I did not exist.
     Nor will there be any future when we shall cease to be." Bhagavad Gita

 
    As soon as we're ready to let go of fearful certainties, the spacious mystery of who / what we truly are & actual reality awaits!

    "Try to be mindful, & let things take their natural course. Then your mind will become still in any surroundings, like a clear forest pool. All kinds of wonderful, rare animals will come to drink at the pool, and you will clearly see the nature of all things. You will see many strange & wonderful things come & go, but you will be still. This is the happiness of the Buddha." Ajahn Chah

"We are stars wrapped in skin.
The light you are seeking
has always been within."
Rumi

 

 Helen Hamilton's MOST VALUABLE teaching - listen to ALL of it

PRACTICING The Heart of Mindfulness

      In one of Tara Brach's fine guided meditations, she suggests: “… with the out-breath, let go of any unnecessary holdings in the heart.” https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-loving-what-is/

 
     What a wonderful suggestion!

     Of course we all have protective armor of varying thickness around our hearts due to all the traumas we've been exposed to, perhaps even before birth. Even the process of being born is traumatic to the child, no matter how smoothly it goes. 

     So what are unnecessary holdings in the heart? If we've become resilient, balanced, mature adults, and have forgiven those who may have harmed us, and have learned to consciously face & accept even life's harsh realities, we likely will still continue to carry some habitual armoring in our body, but especially around our heart. This is now completely unnecessary, and something best to intentionally work on releasing.

     A much greater challenge is if we're continually traumatized in some manner, be it racism, sexism, domestic violence, homelessness, food insecurity, unemployment, etc, etc, etc. Even here though, armoring the heart is - somewhat like the "freeze instinct" - a necessary survival tactic of the very young, and for those not yet able to respond more maturely & effectively to trauma. An armored, frozen heart is not capable of vibrantly engaging in life. So even here, it is best to adapt more effective adult responses to end & mitigate the damaging effects of trauma AND intentionally work on releasing these holdings in the heart.

     An armored heart becomes such a natural part of us, that the suggestion to release the armor to some will sound completely insane - as if being asked to immediately become a heart organ-donor! And even if you've reached a point in your life when the idea of shedding defenses around your heart sounds appealing, even urgent, in real life, it's actually a slow, cautious process, mostly out of your direct control. The heart is, after all, our most vital organ!

     So even though we're hard-wired for self-preservation & conditioned to fear, at the same time, our life feels whole & meaningful only when we have open-hearted connection to ourselves, others, the world. So how can we resolve this potent pull in opposite directions?

•

     A meditation PRACTICE I've found beneficial is holding a beloved baby in my heart. It can be your own baby or grandchild, baby Buddha, baby Jesus, a puppy, kitten, baby bird - whoever feels closest for you. The key is to feel directly sharing the nurturing warmth, peace & protection of your heart with a tiny, beloved, helpless little innocent being. We are holding this beloved innocent & our own innocence together, in nurturing safety & unconditional love, so both are thriving in real time. Allow yourself to rest in the physical feel of nurturing & being nurtured, embodying our true nature.

• 

     Immediately after writing the above, I listened to an excellent interview in which Dorothy Hunt answered a question about desire - to have something or to get rid of something. "This awareness, this awake nature of ours, it’s moving from inside the thing that we’re trying to get rid of, rather than trying to get rid of it. We just let awareness come inside – it begins to liberate it from the inside. Whereas the mind tries to pry it open, or get rid of it. Awareness is like the sun that melts these frozen things. So much of what feels like a block is just some kind of frozen feeling, frozen experience that hasn’t been allowed to simply be. So when we allow our inner experience to be what it is – the Buddha once said, ‘Hold your anger as though it’s your only child’ – bringing that compassion, that embrace, that intimacy, bringing it close so we can see ‘What is this?’ instead of ‘How do I get rid of it?’ The mind wants to know, ‘How do I get rid of it?’ But this awake space, this awareness, has no judgment, it just shines the light on what is. And then we begin to see desire for what it is.”
        Dorothy Hunt interview: https://batgap.com/dorothy-hunt/

 

“In this choiceless, never ending flow of life
There is an infinite array of choices.
One alone brings happiness -
To love what is.”                                           Dorothy Hunt

      “Let go of the battle. Breathe quietly and let it be. Let your body relax and your heart soften. Open to whatever you experience without fighting.” Jack Kornfield

     “When we stop tensing against life, we open to an awareness that is immeasurably large and suffused with love.” Tara Brach

 

 

A Breath of Fresh Air

     Central to Zen meditation (zazen) is maintaining attention on the breath in the lower abdomen (hara). With patient, persistent practice, this cultivates both a stabilizing & energizing force - anchor, ballast & power plant - not just during meditation, but throughout life. This practice is central to all Chinese, Japanese, & other Eastern martial arts & is the basis of "core strength" in gymnastics, diving, dance, figure skating etc.

     A baby sleeping on her back will breathe slowly, regularly, the chest remaining still, the abdomen slowly rising & falling. This is normal, healthy abdominal (diaphragmatic) breathing. When a deep breath is taken, first the abdomen rises (due to the diaphragm bowing towards the stomach, thus displacing the abdominal organs outwards), then near the end of the inhalation, the (intercostal) muscles between the ribs become activated, expanding the chest. On exhalation, the intercostal muscles relax, the chest returns to normal, then the diaphragm relaxes, allowing the abdomen to return to normal.

     This is very efficient breathing and is naturally slower than the way many today breathe - chest breathing - which is intentionally (self-consciously) holding the abdomen in, and breathing primarily in the upper chest.

     James Nestor wrote a very interesting short article (based on his book: "Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art"): https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/jul/26/every-breath-you-take-the-lost-art-of-breathing?utm_source=pocket-newtab  In it he writes about the benefits of abdominal breathing:

     "But lest we forget, nature is simple but subtle. For me, the perfect breath is this: inhale for about 5.5 seconds, then exhale for 5.5 seconds. That’s 5.5 breaths a minute for a total of about 5.5 litres of air. You can practice this perfect breathing for a few minutes, or a few hours. When we breathe like this, breathing practitioners suggest that circulation in the brain and body will increase while the burden on the heart decreases. All the while the diaphragm – that umbrella-shaped muscle in our chests – will drop lower and rise higher, allowing more air to enter the lungs and assisting in pushing blood throughout the body. For this reason, the diaphragm is sometimes referred to as 'the second heart', because it not only beats to its own rhythm but also affects the rate and strength of the heartbeat."

     A key component needs to be added - the quality of our relationships. A surprising number of us relate to our own breath much like the new owner of a car who has absolutely no interest in or affection for their car other than to use it to go places. Disconnection / dissociation from not only our own breath, but also from the rest of our body, from our own deepest values, from our family, friends & co-workers, from our community, from the environment, from nature, from the present moment, from our very life - is more common than we realize AND is profoundly alienating, lonely & unhealthy.

     A small but important step towards re-establishing a healthy, normal relationship with life is through our breath. A normal healthy relationship is modeled by our hands. How do our left & right hands naturally relate to each other? That's a deep question to silently ponder - and then bring to ALL of our relationships.

     We can all use a breath of fresh air in our lives.

Quality of Attention, Understanding, and Intimacy

     “Love is the quality of attention we pay to things.” J.D. McClatchy

     “In essence, mindfulness – being about attention, awareness, relationality, and caring – is a universal human capacity akin to our capacity for language acquisition. It is a way of being in wise and purposeful relationship with one’s experience, both inwardly and outwardly, with oneself and with others. Thus there is an intrinsic social dimension to its cultivation as well. It usually involves cultivating familiarity and intimacy with aspects of everyday experience that we often take for granted." Jon Kabat Zinn

     During meditation “you are not escaping the world; you are getting ready to fully embrace it.” Christine Skarda

     “Mindfulness is a kind of balanced awareness — we're open to things as they are, with acceptance and nonjudgment. But when it's incomplete we can open to things as they are and not see the bigger picture of the pain in the world. When we understand and open to that pain, our own and others’, the only thing that makes sense is compassion. Compassion means we use our clear seeing in the service of the alleviation of suffering.” Michelle Becker https://www.eomega.org/article/being-kind-wont-make-you-weak

     "Mindfulness does not reject experience. It lets experience be the teacher. With mindfulness, we can enter the difficulties in our life and find healing and freedom." Jack Kornfield

     "Anything will give up its secrets if you love it enough." George Washington Carver

      "Everyone discusses my art and pretends to understand, as if it were necessary to understand, when it is simply necessary to love.” Claude Monet

      “One learns through the heart, not the eyes or the intellect.” Mark Twain

      "You learn about a thing ... by opening yourself wholeheartedly to it. You learn about a thing by loving it." Barbara McClintock - Nobel prize-winning geneticist

      "The truth is, what one really needs is not Nobel prizes but love. How do you think one gets to be a Nobel laureate? Wanting love, that's how. Wanting it so bad one works all the time and ends up a Nobel laureate. It's a consolation prize. 
     What matters is love." George Wald - Nobel prize-winning biologist from Harvard

     Intimacy is what practice is all about: the realization of the essential lack of distinction between self and other that inevitably leads to wisdom and compassionate action. Intimacy with the depth of our being – authenticity – is the essential first step. Then, with the help of loving-kindness meditation, we bring intimacy into our relationships with others, starting with those dearest to us and moving on to those who don’t seem dear at all. We can grow in intimacy to include everyone around us, all of society, the whole world and all the beings it contains.
      Modified from the description of Pat Enkyo O’Hara’s book: “Most Intimate: A Zen Approach to Life's Challenges.” Shambhala, 2014.

 

awakeningartsacademy.com

Meaningful Connection

     When we're under a lot of stress, we tend to feel isolated, alienated, all alone, like nobody cares about us, me against the world. Most people are drawn to mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) courses to better manage their stress and become more resilient in the face of life's many and unpredictable challenges.
     "Resilience is our inherent capacity to see beauty, find connection, commune with something larger than ourselves, and create – even in or after horrendous experiences." Staci Haines
     Stress tends to close us down - we back away from our own authenticity, others & the environment. Resilience allows us to open up, and connect with our own authenticity, with others & the environment.

     "In trauma-sensitive mindfulness practice, resilience involves imagining a place, activity, or memory that connects us to a sense of well-being … This can be cultivated by introducing a brief intervention during mindfulness practice or by practicing a separate guided meditation. Once people feel they can stabilize their attention on the resilient stimuli – the feeling of being somewhat safe, or a positive memory – we can then guide them to feel physical sensations that correspond with the resilient object of attention.”  David A. Treleaven. “Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness. Practices for Safe and Transformative Healing.” W.W. Norton & Co, 2018.

     It's profoundly calming (self-soothing, self-regulating) to vividly remember the physical sensations during a time when we felt deeply connected to ourself, another person, an animal, the environment, or even an activity. Safety, trust & love dominate in connection (& evaporate under stress). 
     Savor the interaction in the (11mins) video below, between Susan and Maddy the bear. The quality of their connection is viscerally obvious.

Silence, Stillness and Identity

     “Silence is the basis and the background of everything. We are an expression of this primordial silence and stillness. But the habits of our mind overlay this simple truth and keep us from experiencing ourselves as a full-spectrum human being. 
     … we awaken to our true nature and experience the deep nourishment that comes with this realization. As we recognize and embody our true nature, our conditioning naturally dissolves and we see that when we rest in silence we can move into anything in life, including chaos and sorrow, with a sense of ease and well-being. 
     … we learn that deep inquiry is not something the mind does, but the process of love perceiving its own nature through your physical form.” 

        Sharon Landrith      https://www.sharon-landrith.com/about/

Cheryl Braganza       "The Healing Cloak"     picturetrail.com/cherylbraganza

Listen for Love

If you listen,
not to the pages or preachers
but to the smallest flower
growing from a crack in your heart,
you will hear a great song
moving across a wide ocean
whose water is the music
connecting all the islands
of the universe together,
and touching all
you will feel it
touching you
around you...
embracing you
with light.
It is in that light
that everything lives
and will always be alive.

John Squadra

John Squadra. "This Ecstasy." Hermes Press, Brooks Maine, 1996.

Lawren Harris

Opening to Reality

     [We] will not perish for want of information;
     but only for want of appreciation … What we lack is not
     a will to believe but a will to wonder…. Reverence is one
     of [our] answers to the presence of mystery …               Abraham Heschel

     “I’ve had to learn to lean into all I don’t understand, accepting that I am changed by what I hear. In all, it’s been an exciting journey, one that’s made me more alive.

      With each trouble that stalls us and each wonder that lifts us, we are asked to put down our conclusions and feel and think anew.”

         Mark Nepo. “Seven Thousand Ways to Listen. Staying Close to What is Sacred.” Free Press, NY, 2012.  

Opening, Intimacy, Meaning, Mindfulness, Happiness, Authenticity

     "Mindfulness is a phenomenon generally understood in cognitive terms, although it has a holistic impact on an individual’s being. Meaning in life is seen as a construct that expands beyond what a person does in life (meaning through doing), but it also depends on each person’s relationship with her or his essential being (meaning through being)." 

      Bellin ZJ. "The Meaning Connection Between Mindfulness and Happiness." Journal of Humanistic Counseling 2015; 54: 221-35.

 

     Essential intimacy with "self", others, & life:

http://jglovas.wixsite.com/awarenessnow/single-post/2016/09/28/Out-on-a-Limb

http://jglovas.wixsite.com/awarenessnow/single-post/2016/09/28/Relating-Well-and-Happiness

http://jglovas.wixsite.com/awarenessnow/single-post/2016/09/30/Authenticity-is-Central

http://jglovas.wixsite.com/awarenessnow/single-post/2016/10/03/Coming-Home

 

Opening to Nature through the Mind-Heart of a Four-legged

Listen with your Eyes, Watch with your Ears ...

      “… the shouts of children suddenly fell quiet, it was only now that I noticed. The bell had rung. The sounds here were new and unfamiliar to me, the same was true of the rhythm in which they surfaced, but I would soon get used to them, to such an extent that they would fade into the background again. You know too little and it doesn’t exist. You know too much and it doesn’t exist. Writing is drawing the essence of what we know out of the shadows. That is what writing is about. Not what happens there, not what actions are played out there, but the there itself. There, that is writing’s location and aim. But how do we get there?
     This was the question I asked myself, sitting in a district of Stockholm drinking coffee, my muscles contracting with the cold and the cigarette smoke dissolving into the vast mass of air above me.”

       Karl Ove Knausgaard. “A Death in the Family. My Struggle: Book 1.” Vintage Books, London, 2014.

Martha

To Question Old Answers

     "Many people think that it is the function of a spiritual teaching to provide answers to life’s biggest questions, but actually the opposite is true. The primary task of any good spiritual teaching is not to answer your questions, but to question your answers. For it is your conscious and unconscious assumptions and beliefs that distort your perception and cause you to see separation and division where there is actually only unity and completeness."

        Adyashanti "The Way of Liberation" 2012 ebook,

        which may be downloaded: http://www.adyashanti.org/library/The_Way_of_Liberation_Ebook.pdf

Public Gardens, Halifax, NS

Heart-Mind Porousness Meditation

     "Mindfully resting in the easy, natural flow of the breath, allow the stream of your experience to be filtered through the focal point of your heart center. If you like, you can gently touch your heart as you begin in a gesture of attuning yourself to allow the stream of ever changing experience to be clearly seen and deeply felt as it flows through the open heart. In this way, each moment and each mindful breath can cultivate and affirm the inseparability of clear presence, embracing the flow of experience, with great compassion."

       Joel & Michelle Levey - adapted from their new book: "Mindfulness, Meditation, and Mind Fitness" Conari Press, 2015.

Gretel and Bess

Guardedness, Appreciation, and Opening One's Heart & Life

     "Sometimes people with early childhood scarring complain that they are unable to feel their emotions. We all have emotions, but some of us have learned to ignore them and turn away. I often suggest that those who ignore their emotions awaken to their emotional life through tenderness: looking around until something stirs their humanity, then resting their gaze quietly upon that. When they begin to experience a felt sense of beauty, they will also feel tender, open, and peaceful. Their emotions will begin to percolate through this process, and appreciation will arise within that tenderness. Appreciation is the quiet thank-you of the heart that opens across the landscape."

       Rodney Smith. Awakening. A Paradigm Shift of the Heart. Shambhala, Boston, 2014.

October on Lewis Lake, Nova Scotia, Canada

 

Opening, Opening, Forever Opening ...

     We have infinite ways of consciously & subconsciously creating, promoting, protecting & preserving "our" ego: 
     rigidity: http://www.johnlovas.com/2013/12/well-beyond-walls-friction.html
     objectification: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/09/402-objectification.html 
     boundaries: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2012/03/personal-disarmament.html

     We ultimately have to learn by directly experiencing the unsatisfactory nature of ego-clinging, dropping it, and opening up to reality.
     Meditation practice, especially when boosted by long silent retreats & good teachers, intensifies this vital process.

GBMorts   www.dpreview.com

Opening, Letting Go, Flowing

     letting go of dependence on small parts
     letting go of aversion to small parts
     accepting preferences AND letting them go
     feeling it all flow through
     being the flow AND the opening
     flowing flowing flowing

Tamas Dezso photography   www.tamas-dezso.com

Energy Awareness & Micromanagement

So slowly we learn
to invest our finite time & energy
not just generally - but moment-by-moment
in directions that serve
to decrease suffering
and increase meaning & joy

These healthy direction choices
are always fresh
without momentum
appropriate in this specific moment
and differ from the tired momentum of our lives

The energy rescued
from habitual sufferings
is now available
for opening to real life
as it arises fresh in each unique moment

Our fictitious stories of 'me, myself & I'
we drag around - for a while
but nothing real is solid
we are free, changing, growing
so much more than we're now capable of knowing
everything is flowing expanding energy
manage & guide it wisely

microsurgeon   www.dpreview.com

With Gratitude

timeless gatekeepers – one-or-two?

welcome us in

to their energy field

of red & gold

where

past-present-future

far away places

and places to dream of

are all at home

Steve McCurry   http://stevemccurry.com/

Sitting

sitting suspended
between earth and sky
between heart and all directions
expanding vertically
radiating warmth all around
listening to the silence
the ground of all things



     "A person is neither a thing nor a process, but an opening or a clearing through which the Absolute can manifest."                    Ken Wilber

Nik2   www.dpreview.com

Opening to Embrace Vastness

     “… the paradox that where opposites met, wisdom might, indeed, be born if a person learned to hold them in balance. This embracing of the contradictory truths, without one canceling out the other, was said by the wise to be the essence of wisdom itself.”

       Matousek M. "Ethical wisdom. What makes us good." Random House, Toronto, 2011.

Kentville, Nova Scotia

Mind AND Heart to Disengage from Conditioning

     "Over the years of teaching, I've found a growing need for profound lovingkindness & compassion -- a transformation of the heart -- to underlie the insights and understandings that come out of the practice. An opening of the mind needs to be supported by compassion from the heart if the practice is to be integrated, fulfilled, and lived in our lives. 
     The value of mindfulness practice is discovered in the freedom we find through awareness. Without awareness, we repeat the patterns of fear & conditioning that keep us entangled individually & collectively. Without awareness, we suffer. With awareness, we can see the contractions of the mind, how the mind gets caught and how we can learn to let go. With awareness we can reawaken to the purity of joy and freedom that is fundamental to our true nature."                        Jack Kornfield    http://www.dharmaseed.org/teacher/85/

 

Eliza taking a well-earned rest