What Can We Do?

    Imagine shortly after your birth, you were cold, hungry, thirsty, wet, uncomfortable & unhappy. So you cried as loudly as you could for help. You had no way of knowing or comprehending why you were no longer being held in safety & unconditional love like you (more or less) were for your timeless 'eternity' in the womb.
    What went through your completely innocent mind? Overwhelmed by the primal fear of abandonment & death - attachment trauma.      

    “Children can be traumatized, not just by terrible things happening to them, but just by not having their needs met – by not being seen, not being heard, not being held. Those are wounding for a child.” Gabor Maté MD

    Now imagine as an adult, waking up alone, in great pain, lying helplessly in the recovery room, immediately following major surgery. So you ring the button to call for help - even start yelling, and wait, and wait ... You have no way of comprehending why nobody comes to help.
    What goes through your mind? Fear, anger, frustration - abandonment, dying alone.
    "Trauma is not so much what happened to us, but rather what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic mutually connected witness." Peter Levine PhD

    Imagine watching the evening news: escalating war in the Gaza / Israel; endless war in the Ukraine; enthusiastic "proxy" participation by most of the world's dictatorships & "friendlies" - with repeated threats of nuclear weapons; thousands killed by yet another earthquake in Nepal. Meanwhile, in the world's most privileged countries, escalating numbers of homeless "living rough" in severe winter conditions; rapidly increasing deaths by drug-overdose, direct suicide even of children & insane levels of "gun violence". Then, 'in other news': much faster-than-anticipated global warming, rise in sea levels, rise in CO2 levels, extinction of species, toxic air pollution, etc etc. Reptilian world leaders continue playing colonialist 'rape, murder & plunder' games, as they confidently destroy our one-and-only earth.
    What goes through your mind? Fear, anger, frustration, disgust, cynicism - am I alone in a hostile, meaningless universe?

    Indeed, what can we do?
    Many refuse to watch or listen to the news - "It's too depressing!" Well yes, but immature & unhelpful.
    Then some aspire to at least be "well adjusted." However,
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society" Krishnamurti

    Which brings to mind a scene from the Viet Nam war movie, Apocalypse Now, showing Lt. Col. Kilgore, shirtless, cigar in mouth, practicing golf drives into the South China sea, surrounded by his young soldiers in uniform. Behind him, American fighter jets rain down bombs, evaporating countless Vietnamese in the jungle below. With great gusto Kilgore says, “I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”
    This timely topic: “The Myth of Normal. Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture.” is carefully examined by Gabor Maté MD & Daniel Maté, in their excellent 2022 book.

    How, one might wonder, does a sweet, innocent, loving & lovable little baby turn into a Kilgore? None of us are born to ideal parents who are able to make us feel consistently safe & unconditionally loved. Therefore, very early in life, most of us experience some degree of attachment trauma, and learn to escape the present moment by dissociating whenever we find situations unbearable. Many other forms of trauma occur later in life.
    “Pathological dissociation generally results from being psychically overwhelmed by trauma. Trauma is everywhere & highly prevalent." Elizabeth F. Howell. “The Dissociative Mind.” Routledge, 2008.

    Dissociation is almost universal. However, while dissociating we can't be intimately engaged with whomever we're with, or whatever we're doing, because we divert attention elsewhere - from urgent self-preservation to mere distraction. For many, dissociation becomes habitual, occuring even in the absence of triggers.
    "… studies on attentiveness show that people are only briefly & unpredictably attentive. Attention habitually diverts to unrelated thoughts & feelings, leaving any task at hand to be managed 'on autopilot.' These studies suggest that mindlessness ('mind wandering,' 'zoning out,' 'task-unrelated thought') is 'one of the most ubiquitous & pervasive of all cognitive phenomena' and that it often occurs unintentionally, without awareness, occupies a substantial proportion of our day, and leads to failures in task performance."
    Lovas JG, Lovas DA, Lovas PM. “Mindfulness and Professionalism in Dentistry.” J Dent Educ 2008; 72(9): 998-1009.

    Dissociation due to fear is a fundamental problem - the precise opposite of intimacy arising from love. All wisdom traditions, through their saints & mystics, as well as artists (intermediaries between spirituality & materialism) have been trying to tell us this for thousands of years. 

    As infants & children, numbing / being closed down can be more important than feeling / opening up.
    But now, as adults, "it's time to pull up our big boy pants" and have “the spaciousness to allow any quality of mind, any thought or feeling, to arise without closing around it, without eliminating the pure witness of being. It is an active receptivity to life.” Stephen Levine

    We get into & easily remain stuck in adversarial relationships - involving even siblings, parents vs children, intimate partners, co-workers, ideologies, races, religions, countries. Our conflicts can & do lead to horrific, prolonged, unnecessary blood-baths.  

 

    A short excerpt of Gabor Maté MD from a wise, compassionate recent interview:  

    “So what’s the way out? Self-examination is the first step.
    Krishnamurti said that action has meaning only in relationship. And without understanding relationship, action on any level will only breathe conflict. The understanding of relationship is infinitely more important than the search for any plan of action.
    It's so true, if we want to understand something, let's at least begin with the willingness to look at our role and our own contribution to that relationship in which we're suffering.
    Again, that doesn't justify any particular action but at least it provides a context and it's not about taking the wrong path.

    Robert Sapolsky talks about the absurdity of hating any person for anything they have done, given that in his view, everything we do is determined by the past. And he also says there's no such thing as free will, and blame & punishment are without ethical justification.
    No, I don't I don't agree with him. I think it is possible to get to a position of free will, but I don't think most of us have free will most of the time.
    To get to free will, it takes extraordinary effort to become conscious. To be conscious means you're aware of what's inside you.
    So there might be rage inside you, perfectly understandable. There might be hatred inside you, perfectly understandable. There might be a desire for revenge inside you, perfectly understandable. Understandable? Absolutely. But they're not guides for action.
    The only guide for action is when we're in a non-defensive state. An emotionally non-defensive state is where the prefrontal cortex, the mid-frontal cortex, whose job is to have insight, empathy, self-regulation, compassion, is online THEN we might talk about free will.
    But when we're regulated by our emotional reactions, collective or personal, there's no free will.

    The Buddha never told his followers ‘not to feel’ hate, or not to feel angry, or not to feel grief, not to feel sadness, or fear. He said you will notice when there's fear in you; you will notice when there's hatred in you; you will notice when there's grief; you'll be aware of it, so that it doesn't rule you.
    Those are just human emotions. They're going to happen. The question is, what's going to govern our actions?

    Dan Siegel a psychiatrist, and Stephen Porges a psychologist, both point out that at times of pressure & fear, our perspective narrows. And the part of our brain that takes over, is more the fear-based & defensive-based, fight-or-flight, so we lose the governance of our pre-frontal cortex, which is capable of taking a broader view.
    An Israeli friend with a daughter, who lives in the North of Israel, where as a result of recent events, they had to evacuate some communities, owing to the threat of further violence not just in the South, but also in the North of Israel.
    And she wrote to me very honestly, she says, ‘Dear Gabor, I really appreciate the things you wrote. The days here are unbearable. We moved in with friends because we live in an unprotected ground floor, surrounded by gardens so beautiful usually, but home no longer feels like a safe place for millions right now.’ And she’s talking about Israelis. She’s well aware, by the way, of the Palestinian situation. But she’s describing her own situation.
    ‘The rest of the time I work at a mental health center, and we collapse under the referrals, and the meetings, and the frantic courses we take to treat ongoing trauma. I’m exhausted. The (words of support) you wrote are beautiful, but perspective expands when people are not under physical threat. And so, those close to me, and my point of view is very narrow.’
    That’s a very honest statement. She’s making no apology. She’s not taking a political stance. She’s saying, right now my perspective is very narrow. She doesn’t want to identify with that narrow perspective, but she understands that under the pressure, that’s what happens. Now most people are not that self-aware. Peoples’ perspective narrows of course, and it becomes subsumed in group identification, and thoughts of revenge, and thoughts of hurting the other.
    Under threat, or what we perceive as being under threat, we go into this narrow place. That’s a place of slavery – when we’re enslaved to our unconscious. Where we’re governed by our emotions and where the heart closes down. 

    And if there was ever a time for people to actually open their hearts, to not get stuck in a narrow place, to not repeat the past, to not perceive themselves only as victims, but in relationship with the other, and have the willingness to examine my role in that relationship, which is all we ask for in any marriage or in any relationship. ..."
    A Call for Healing: Gabor Maté on Palestine / Israel : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0WJM9RfRD8 

“The words of the Buddha offer this truth:
‘Hatred never ceases by hatred
but by love alone is healed.
This is an ancient and eternal law.’ ”
Jack Kornfield

A Walk to the Paradise Garden by W. Eugene Smith

Meaningful Connection

     When we're under a lot of stress, we tend to feel isolated, alienated, all alone, like nobody cares about us, me against the world. Most people are drawn to mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) courses to better manage their stress and become more resilient in the face of life's many and unpredictable challenges.
     "Resilience is our inherent capacity to see beauty, find connection, commune with something larger than ourselves, and create – even in or after horrendous experiences." Staci Haines
     Stress tends to close us down - we back away from our own authenticity, others & the environment. Resilience allows us to open up, and connect with our own authenticity, with others & the environment.

     "In trauma-sensitive mindfulness practice, resilience involves imagining a place, activity, or memory that connects us to a sense of well-being … This can be cultivated by introducing a brief intervention during mindfulness practice or by practicing a separate guided meditation. Once people feel they can stabilize their attention on the resilient stimuli – the feeling of being somewhat safe, or a positive memory – we can then guide them to feel physical sensations that correspond with the resilient object of attention.”  David A. Treleaven. “Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness. Practices for Safe and Transformative Healing.” W.W. Norton & Co, 2018.

     It's profoundly calming (self-soothing, self-regulating) to vividly remember the physical sensations during a time when we felt deeply connected to ourself, another person, an animal, the environment, or even an activity. Safety, trust & love dominate in connection (& evaporate under stress). 
     Savor the interaction in the (11mins) video below, between Susan and Maddy the bear. The quality of their connection is viscerally obvious.

Levels of Practice - from Seeking Comfort to Seeking Liberation

     “There are two levels of practice. 

               The first is the foundation, a development of precepts, virtue, or morality in order to bring happiness, comfort, and harmony among people. 

               The second, more intensive and unconcerned with comfort, is the practice of Buddha Dharma directed solely toward awakening, toward the liberation of the heart. This liberation is the source of wisdom and compassion and the true reason for the Buddha’s teaching.”
        Kornfield J, Breiter P. “A Still Forest Pool. The Insight Meditation of Achaan Chah.” Quest Books, 1985.


     Even dedicated, long-term meditators start practicing in order to self-regulate ie for stress management. 
     With continued practice, a gradual shift occurs in one's intention for practicing - from self-regulation, to self-exploration, and finally self-liberation.
       Shapiro DH. "A Preliminary Study of Long-term Meditators: Goals, Effects, Religious Orientation, Cognitions. Journal of Transpersonal Psychology 1992; 24(1): 23-39.

Java Blend Coffee, Halifax Seaport Farmer's Market

Stuckness & the Many Ways Out

     Most of us have some sense of "who I am." There are two levels to our self-concept: obvious personal qualities we & others judge to be good, bad or ugly, & a more mysterious level that's largely subconscious. Many of us are sadly resigned about, & firmly identified with (cognitive fusion) the obvious aspects: "that's who I am, & I'll never change", "can't teach old dogs new tricks." This melancholy stuckness is strangely offset by the comforting sense of being a unique individual that, in our mind, remains untouched by time. Most of us stay clear of the mysterious portion - our subconscious. Most of us have no training to intelligently & wisely investigate this part of our life. We sense its power, but our fear & ignorance turns this vital part into a paralyzing taboo.
     EVERY aspect of the above universal human tendencies is considered by Buddhist psychology (& increasingly by Western psychology) to be misguided, AND to cause suffering. Many of us remain stuck in the above predicament for life.
     An ever-increasing number of us realize that all wisdom traditions (Taoism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity, Islam, etc) were specifically designed to address this sad situation. All these traditions have 2 levels: 
          1) Basic support (dogma, rules, rituals, sense of community) for the masses who, like most of us, are also by & large avoiding the mystery.
          2) Specific guidance for an intentional journey along the well-travelled path into the heart of mystery - self-discovery, self-transcendence, & beyond. Traditionally this was, & mostly still is, restricted to monks ("mystics") doing long silent solitary retreats.
     North American Buddhism may be unique insofar as it is explicitly a path to self-discovery, self-transcendence, and beyond FOR EACH PARTICIPANT.
     Mindfulness training (MBSR) is even more easily approachable, since it is secular, starts at self-regulation ie stress-management, which naturally evolves into self-discovery, self-transcendence, & beyond FOR EACH PARTICIPANT.

     See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/11/432-i-try-and-i-try-but-i-cant-get-no.html

Steve McCurry   http://stevemccurry.com/

Evolution of Human Consciousness - Complex yet Robust Process

     Powerful critiques have been written about how Buddhist principles & practices are being misused, truncated & distorted in the name of stress-management, science, business, & other narrow purposes. Read Linda Heuman's interview with Curtis White, Distinguished Professor Emeritus of English at Illinois State University, about his latest book: The Science Delusion: Asking the Big Questions in a Culture of Easy Answers. The entire excellent article is available online: http://www.tricycle.com/feature/science-delusion 

     Shapiro's pivotal study showed that even dedicated, long-term meditators started practicing for self-regulation - to manage stress. Shapiro showed that with continued practice, a gradual shift occurred in the intention behind practicing - from self-regulation, to self-exploration, and finally self-liberation. Critics of Jon Kabat-Zinn's MBSR would do well to read this paper. Shapiro DH. A preliminary study of long-term meditators: Goals, effects, religious orientation, cognitions. Journal of Transpersonal Psychology 1992; 24(1): 23-39.

     The realization of the existence of sickness, aging, constant change & death - managing the stress of existential angst - initiated Gautama's journey. He did not start with self-discovery or self-transcendence - he first tried materialism (clinging), and when that failed, he tried the other extreme, asceticism (aversion).
      Today, "relatively few arrive at Buddhist centers on the wings of psychic victory. Many people have a psychologically complex history, one influenced by trauma or loss. In this way, we practice to resolve thorny and entrenched forms of psychological pain." Pilar Jennings PhD "Looking into the eyes of a master. A relational psychotherapist explores how we can see our teachers as people, both gifted and flawed." Tricycle Spring 2004

     In our youth (not strictly in years), we can read, hear about & observe adulthood, yet no matter how "smart" we may be, we simply cannot rapidly integrate mature psycho-social-spiritual concepts into our immature being. 
     Earthly existence seems to entail direct personal multi-dimensional experiential iterative learning. Intellectual bypassing does not bring about true maturation any better than daydreaming. Yet neither is the process perfectly linear, mechanically step-wise, nor predictably dose-dependent (hours on the cushion).

 

Our Goals Change for the Better

     "When we meditate for a purpose - to be calm, to gain insight - we are striving, not meditating.

     The problem with having a known goal is that it is a purchase from the store of things we already know, when what we truly want is something glimpsed dimly and imagined in a haze.

     It's painful to let go of our original intentions but, eventually, they are in the way because we have changed, we are no longer the person who set off. Our intentions gave us the journey and that is enough.

     Attention is a kind of love and our way of showing up, and when we do that, life unfolds by itself." 

       John Tarrant, Shambhala Sun, September 2013

MBSR has More Breadth & Depth than Assumed

     "The overall goal is to enable clients to relate in a non-identificatory and flexible way to experience ...  The ACT (Acceptance & Commitment Therapy) model holds that psychopathology is due to relating to thoughts as literal truths (cognitive fusion), as well as maladaptive attempts to escape from or control unwanted experience (experiential avoidance). The strategies in ACT include metaphors, experiential work, exposure in the service of valued goals, as well as traditional mindfulness exercises to promote non-judgmental and non-reactive awareness of internal experiences."

       Vollestad J, Nielsen MB, Nielsen GH. Mindfulness- and acceptance-based interventions for anxiety disorders: a systematic review and meta-analysis. Br J Clin Psychol 2012; 51(3): 239-60.

      All of the above is included in Jon Kabat-Zinn's MBSR, particularly if the facilitator makes skillful use of the language of Western psychology. The components of MBSR form an organic whole, the purpose of which is identical to Buddhist practice ie awakening. The effectiveness of any of these practices is inversely proportional to how goal-oriented (to self-regulation***) the participant remains, regardless of what brought them to the practice. See also: http://www.johnlovas.com/2012/01/intention-shifts.html

Photo: chennai srobin   www.dpreview.com

Everything Changes

     With continued practice, a gradual shift occurs even in the intention behind practicing - from self-regulation, to self-exploration, and finally self-liberation.

       Shapiro DH. A preliminary study of long-term meditators: Goals, effects, religious orientation, cognitions. Journal of Transpersonal Psychology 1992; 24(1): 23-39.


     “Healing our personal wounds becomes a first step in a process that gradually widens to include compassion for the suffering of everyone & everything…”
       Germer CK, Siegel RD, Fulton PR eds. “Mindfulness and Psychotherapy.” The Guilford Press, NY, 2005.

Photo: BonzaiZG  www.dpreview.com