A Breath of Fresh Air

     Central to Zen meditation (zazen) is maintaining attention on the breath in the lower abdomen (hara). With patient, persistent practice, this cultivates both a stabilizing & energizing force - anchor, ballast & power plant - not just during meditation, but throughout life. This practice is central to all Chinese, Japanese, & other Eastern martial arts & is the basis of "core strength" in gymnastics, diving, dance, figure skating etc.

     A baby sleeping on her back will breathe slowly, regularly, the chest remaining still, the abdomen slowly rising & falling. This is normal, healthy abdominal (diaphragmatic) breathing. When a deep breath is taken, first the abdomen rises (due to the diaphragm bowing towards the stomach, thus displacing the abdominal organs outwards), then near the end of the inhalation, the (intercostal) muscles between the ribs become activated, expanding the chest. On exhalation, the intercostal muscles relax, the chest returns to normal, then the diaphragm relaxes, allowing the abdomen to return to normal.

     This is very efficient breathing and is naturally slower than the way many today breathe - chest breathing - which is intentionally (self-consciously) holding the abdomen in, and breathing primarily in the upper chest.

     James Nestor wrote a very interesting short article (based on his book: "Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art"): https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/jul/26/every-breath-you-take-the-lost-art-of-breathing?utm_source=pocket-newtab  In it he writes about the benefits of abdominal breathing:

     "But lest we forget, nature is simple but subtle. For me, the perfect breath is this: inhale for about 5.5 seconds, then exhale for 5.5 seconds. That’s 5.5 breaths a minute for a total of about 5.5 litres of air. You can practice this perfect breathing for a few minutes, or a few hours. When we breathe like this, breathing practitioners suggest that circulation in the brain and body will increase while the burden on the heart decreases. All the while the diaphragm – that umbrella-shaped muscle in our chests – will drop lower and rise higher, allowing more air to enter the lungs and assisting in pushing blood throughout the body. For this reason, the diaphragm is sometimes referred to as 'the second heart', because it not only beats to its own rhythm but also affects the rate and strength of the heartbeat."

     A key component needs to be added - the quality of our relationships. A surprising number of us relate to our own breath much like the new owner of a car who has absolutely no interest in or affection for their car other than to use it to go places. Disconnection / dissociation from not only our own breath, but also from the rest of our body, from our own deepest values, from our family, friends & co-workers, from our community, from the environment, from nature, from the present moment, from our very life - is more common than we realize AND is profoundly alienating, lonely & unhealthy.

     A small but important step towards re-establishing a healthy, normal relationship with life is through our breath. A normal healthy relationship is modeled by our hands. How do our left & right hands naturally relate to each other? That's a deep question to silently ponder - and then bring to ALL of our relationships.

     We can all use a breath of fresh air in our lives.

Distracted? Unable to Focus?

    "There were several drug and alcohol addicts in the class ... Other self-harming, addictive habits in this class included: self-cutting, shopping themselves into deep debt, sexual promiscuity, disordered eating, uncontrollable rage, workaholism, and relational addiction.

     Relational addiction plagued five students who were addicted either to a particular person or to constant interaction with other people via texting, calling, or being with others in person. They were so addicted to being in constant contact with others that they were literally not able to leave their cell phones off for an hour or be alone for any length of time.

     One of these students was a texting addict and came to my office to talk, BlackBerry in hand. She continually looked down at her BlackBerry, scanning for new text messages. At two points during our twenty minute conversation, when I was talking to her about an important matter, she typed out and sent text messages. I resisted the urge to criticize, be punitive or sarcastic about it. I could see that she could not stop herself, even though she might have wanted to. Rather than judge it, I wanted to understand the behavior. I was curious why a generally well-mannered and gracious person would do something so lacking in awareness and considerateness.

     The same question arises with any addiction. For Benjamin, I wondered: how can an intelligent, good-hearted young man, seemingly well-loved by his family, be completely unable to stop getting high, even to the point of death or jail? As the medical and psychological communities have known for decades now, it is not a matter of 'willpower.'

     I asked the texting addict: 'I noticed you kept looking at your phone and even sent two texts while I was talking to you. Can you help me understand that? It communicates that you do not care about our conversation, yet I know you do.'

     She shared, 'I know it’s annoying, but I can’t help myself. I can’t let texts just sit there without a quick response. I like to keep everything going . . . I don’t want to miss out on anything.'

     She had no awareness that she had just 'missed out' on being with me in that moment.

     Such craving leads to endless distractedness and an inability to focus on school work. It also makes it extremely difficult for the person to be present with others. The person constantly wants to be elsewhere – to get that next 'fix' of a text, an e-mail, an event, a drink, a cookie, a television show, a high of whatever sort.

     All addictive patterns turn on the same dynamic: the distractive activity is experienced as a welcome relief from real life. The negative behavior or thought pattern, as bad as it is, is believed to provide relief from the normal vicissitudes of real life. I noticed the dynamic in myself in the process of writing this article. When discomfort arose (self-doubt, fear of peer disapproval, stress over deadlines, and so forth), there was the wandering to the kitchen 'for a snack.' What is better than a handful (or two!) of homemade chocolate chip cookies to numb writer’s angst?

     Contemplative pedagogy (eg Mindfulness) is not about a goal, an outcome, or even effort. It is about being alive to the lifelong path of self-evolution – thereby becoming a beneficial presence in the world, to all beings. Isn’t that what any effective pedagogy aims to do?"

       Fran Grace. "Learning as a Path, Not a Goal: Contemplative Pedagogy – Its Principles and Practices." Teaching Theology and Religion 2011; 14 (2): 99-124.

 

From Shame to Courageous Imperfection, Vulnerability, Authenticity

     “Shame absolutely unravels connection. And shame can be understood as the fear of disconnection. Is there something about me, that if people see it, I won’t be worthy of connection? What underpins this is excruciating vulnerability. In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen – really seen. … The one thing that keeps us out of connection is our fear that we’re not worthy of connection.
     The original meaning of courage - derived from coeur - was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. To have the courage to be imperfect.”             Brene Brown PhD 

     Within theistic traditions "guilt" can be a dominant factor. I suspect "shame" is more accurate. A sense of worthlessness ("worthless sinner") is profoundly disconnecting (on earth & heaven), and may lead to desperate longing to connect with a religious community that would take them in.

       See also: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2013/06/attention-educators-threatened-self.html
     and: http://healthyhealers.blogspot.ca/2013/04/self-conscious-shame-guilt-and-basic.html

Returning Home

     “Who we are and what we do to one another is shaped most deeply by how we know the other. Knowing in isolation or illusory objectivity creates distance from the other and this makes violence easier to imagine and justify. On the other hand, understanding or heartfulness builds connections and closes the distance between the self and other. Understanding serves as the centerpoint, the axis, of an education that turns the tide of radical disconnection. Character involves the development of wholeness, a self undivided, which includes the integration of the knowing heart.”

       Hart T. "From information to transformation. Education for the evolution of consciousness." Peter Lang Publishing, NY, 2009. 

Photo: David A. Lovas