Brokenness AND Repair

    “The physical world in which we live … is only part of an inconceivably vast system of worlds. Most of these worlds are spiritual in their essence … they exist in different dimensions of being.” Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz, “The Thirteen Petalled Rose”

    “The old temple of Western religion is burning … We are seeking a new temple, one that links our inherited traditions with our forgotten ancestors.” Jill Hammer, “The Hebrew Priestess.”

    “The October 7th slaughter of her fellow Jews, and the Israeli invasion of Gaza, deeply shook Jill Hammer and her wife Shoshana, whose father survived Auschwitz and fought in Israel’s war of independence. Hammer looked drawn and exhausted when we spoke a few days after the massacre. I asked if there was anything in her belief system that would allow her to digest what had happened. 
    ‘In the Kabbalah, the world is a broken place,’ she said almost forlornly. ‘And the whole idea of tikkun, repair, which is at the heart of Kabbalah, assumes that our world is broken. And it makes the mystical assumption that the small acts of repair that we do are a way of slowly piecing back together that broken world. I don’t think that’s a bad way to look at the human condition.’ 
    As we spoke, thousands of human beings were being killed each day by other human beings. Divine intervention was not the answer, Hammer explained sadly. The onus, she said, was on us. ‘The Kabbalah assumes that there isn’t some deity looking at this from some perfect realm, but that the transcendent is itself implicated in all of this brokenness and also cannot escape it. And for me, that’s a much more appealing theology than there’s some God in some perfect space who could fix all this if only God would bother.’ 
    I could see a change in her face as she tried to compartmentalize her human pain and reconnect with her spiritual self. ‘As long as we live in bodies, there is the potential that we will fight over things, that we will hurt each other.’ The Kabbalah taught this was the inevitable result of imbalance between gevuruth, strength, and chesed, loving-kindness, in the world. Strength without compassion, she explained, was the root of evil. ‘It’s like a cancerous growth that comes out of gevuruth. Then you get acts of ego and cruelty and separation.’ 
    But it was on the idea of Jews as the ‘chosen people’ that she parted with her beloved Kabbalah. ‘I certainly feel the Jewish people have a unique history and perhaps destiny, but the Kabbalah’s argument that Jews are engaged in this work of tikkun and other people are at best neutral and at worst agents of brokenness, that’s not a thing I would want to adopt.’ That view just fueled narcissism and the quest for strength without compassion. Peace might be out of reach, but restoration of balance – which would be the first step – was at the center of her prayers. ‘I understand that there are things that may not move in response to my prayer, but maybe there are some things that can.’” 
    Lawrence Pintak “Lessons from the Mountaintop. Ten Modern Mystics and Their Extraordinary Lives.” Sentient Publications, 2025.

    Perspective, as in most things, is all-important when the concept of "chosen people" comes up. Non-Jews, might immediately feel excluded, inferior, second class etc. However, ALL the other theistic religions ALSO dogmatically state that their specific religion is the ONLY way to heaven - they may not call themselves "chosen people" but religious exclusivism, no matter how thickly sugar-coated, excludes anyone outside the club just the same.
    Narcissism still rages like a wildfire in politics, but mercifully, it's causing rigid, ossified, religious dogmas - like religious exclusivism - to crumble.

“We live in a moment of disruption, death, and rebirth.  
What’s dying is an old civilization and mindset of ‘me.’  
What is being born is less clear but in no way less significant… It’s a future that requires us to tap into a deeper level  
of our humanity, of who we really are,  
and who we want to be as a society.  
It’s a shift that requires us to expand our thinking  
from the head to the heart.  
It is a shift from an ego-system awareness  
that cares about the well-being of me  
to an eco-system awareness  
that cares about the well-being of all,  
including myself.” 
Otto Scharmer


“God dwells within you, 
as you.”
Muktananda

"The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind ..."

 

Waking Up from the Trance

    Many of us, without realizing it, bring our driven, perfectionistic energy to spiritual practices. For decades we may fail to realize that the goal of spirituality is not a perfectly-polished, shiny version of our personality nor even a consistently happy life - which are just goals of the ego. Who we think we are is as simplistically inaccurate as a stick-figure drawing of a human being, or humanity's conception of Divinity.

    Eighty-three-year-old “teacher, author, & spiritual leader Gangaji, offers Sri Ramana Maharshi and Sri Poonjaji's radical invitation to stop the search for fulfillment & enlightenment and to fully recognize the truth of one's being, which is already completely whole and permanently at peace. 
    Her radical invitation is to: 
        Examine your own life. 
        Choose to wake up from the trance of who you think you are and experience the truth of who you really are. 
        Resolve not to go back into the trance by turning away from that essential experience of waking up. 
        Freshly inquire anew as thoughts or feelings of separation arise.

    Gangaji's invitation is radical in part because it is not based upon a particular philosophy or religion. There are no prescribed practices or rituals, unless one considers self-inquiry or self-observation a practice. Most radically, it calls into question the very structure of who we've believed ourselves to be.  
    Who you are is not separate from God or Love or Truth or Freedom or Peace or Silence, whatever one chooses to call it. 
    Therefore, there is nothing you have to do to 'get there.' No merit to be earned. Who you are is already here, has always been and will always be.
    The invitation is to wake up and be Yourself.” 
    Gangaji. “Freedom and Resolve: Finding Your True Home in the Universe.” Hampton Roads, 2014.   

    Below, Gangaji reads & comments on a letter written to her:
    Letter:    “I experience full being ecstasy when I see someone crack open, when the ‘aha’ shines from their face, when their tears leak the truth that has been bottled so long. I simultaneously experience the ‘aha,’ the tears, the nowness. I have experienced these moments in my own heart too. So many times now that it seems normal. 
    And it is this normalcy that I wonder about. When I stop, am I stopping too soon? I always have the feeling that there must be just one more hidden attachment or contraction to notice.”

    Gangaji: “Well, that’s the hidden attachment. ‘There must be one more’ - that’s the hidden attachment.” 

    Letter:    “There must be one more hidden attachment to unburden my heart from. I am like a dog looking for that last morsel of food that rolled under the refrigerator out of reach, but well within smell.” 

    Gangaji: “So then, you’ve had the experience, you see the play of the mind, and then the play of the mind gives this ‘scent of more nourishment.’ That’s when, are you willing to stop, right there, to die? Because that’s what this is about."

    Letter:    “Well, I just need to get a little more of something, so I don’t die in the stopping. I mean, I don’t want to stop until I have all my goods handled."

    Gangaji: “So it has to do with ‘unburdening,’ and so forth. But you have to see it through the wiliness of the mind. It’s still a postponement of stopping. It’s still a postponement of death. 
    You can spend your whole life like that, having been graced with exquisite moments of truth, and then getting on with the business of accumulation.” 

    Letter:    “If I can just get that one last tidbit of untruth, then I can rest.” 

    Gangaji: “There is always more untruth. You get that one last tidbit, it’ll only make you hungry for the next last tidbit. Haven’t you had enough of the lies? Haven’t you had enough of untruth? When is the point when you say, 'Stop!'? 
    This is such a trap of the mind. This trap of the mind is psychological sophistication. ‘Well, I’m sure I have to clean up a little more. So best not to stop now.' 
    Stop and die. That’s what it’s about. Stop and die imperfect as you are, without any hope of being cleaned up and shiny, and presented to God as some pure vessel. Just as you are right now, you present yourself, fully, nakedly, with all your imperfections and no hope of cleaning them up, and see what welcomes that as you are, not as you will be, if you follow this little morsel, this stink under the refrigerator. 

    Letter:    “It just feels like, ‘There’s something I must be missing.’” 

    Gangaji: “You see, here we go. This is the rebirth now. So if it feels like that, feel like that fully and completely missing the boat. Missing it all. You are missing it. It’s true. When there’s this feeling, ‘I’m missing,’ – that’s right. That feeling is a Divine feeling. 
    But our tendency is to get rid of that feeling. So, we find one little bit of spiritual morsel, one little way to clean up the act a little better, so that we’ll be ready to stop next time. 
    If you are feeling that you are missing something, recognize I am missing something, and be that missing fully and completely. BE the pain of that, the horror of that, the self-betrayal of that, the lie of that, all the spiritual and psychological maneuvering around that is a way to escape that. 
    But as you can quite clearly see, you may sense or feel that you escape it in the moment, because you take the morsel and there’s some alleviation of the hunger. But it arises. It will haunt you until you meet it. And be glad it will haunt you until you meet it. Be glad that you haven’t fully learned how to deny. This is the pain of anything less than full self-recognition, and it is quite reliable. 

    Letter:    “I feel like I must be absolutely clean sometimes before I can present this who I amness to the world.” 

    Gangaji: “‘Who I amness’ is nothing! It’s not clean. It’s not dirty and it’s not clean. So when you are thinking I have to be absolutely cleaned before I can present this who amness to the world, you’re still thinking about this object called you. This is now me, as who amness! This is a big thought. The thought I amness. You are not who you think you are, whether that’s I am notness or I amness. 

    Letter:    “There seems to be a shadow and veil separating me from me.” 

    Gangaji: “Yes, it is. And that shadow and that veil, is this lie: ‘I am separated from me.’ That’s the shadow. That’s the veil. Dive into it and see how thick it is. 

    Letter:    “And I spend much of my time looking for confirmation of my separation in the world. 

    Gangaji: “That’s right. And you will find it. 

    Letter:    “Looking for a wink, or a twitch, or a glance that will confirm this doubt that I am not here yet. 

    Gangaji: “That’s right. ‘You’ aren’t here yet, because ‘you’ don’t exist. ‘You,’ who are thinking has to get somewhere, doesn’t exist. It’s a thought in your mind. It will never get there. It will never get there! 
    If you can appreciate the pain of that, the frustration of that, the absurdity of that, that you can die to that. (Fully process all of it physically http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=physical+processing)
    It’s not about ‘you’ getting somewhere. It’s not about ‘you’ becoming clean or you becoming the I am that. That ‘you’ does not exist. It’s a thought. It’s made up. It’s illusion. Investigate it for yourself and see. That’s what self-inquiry is. 
    Rather than continuing this pursuit of satisfaction for this madeup you, now it’s like this. This messy image of me, I don’t like. I want this squeaky-clean image of me. They’re both just images – the clean and the messy. Both just images. Both made up in the mind to keep the mind entertained, spinning, weaving, moving, deflecting, imagining. ‘Stop’ has nothing to do with stop so that you get clean; stop so that you wake up. 
    Stop so that you can see that who you think you are, you are not! Stop so that you can see that when the thoughts of who you are stop, you remain! You don’t need thoughts of who you are to be, whether the latest thought is squeaky clean or filthy dirty. Neither are needed. You exist independently from any thought. No thought exists independently from you. Every thought needs you for its thought. But you exist independently of any thought.” 
    Gangaji "The Lie that Keeps You Searching" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DepjSGrRjL8

    We're so STRONGLY identified with our small, narrow-minded personal and group stories (MY country, MY race, MY religion, MY dogmas, MY political party, MY skin color, etc) that we rarely if ever remember the infinitely wiser, greater spirit we actually are. Being trapped in any story is being confined to a small, cold, dark prison cell that we ourselves maintain by continuously engaging with self-talk. 

    STOP engaging repetitive, circular self-talk in your head. Learn to shift awareness to your heart center and live authentically - spacious, free, loving, nurturing, warm, peaceful. 

 

Two Lessons from Tenzin Palmo

    Most of us start life eager to learn how to control, make & accumulate things & experiences to make us as happy, safe & comfortable as possible. Some remain at this stage for life.
    Some become frustrated from repeatedly failing to achieve deep, sustained peace & satisfaction despite controlling, making & accumulating all sorts of stuff & experiences. Some - probably many - stay at this 'life sucks, and then you die' stage for life.
    Some then turn to religion or spirituality, assuming the magic is in ancient rituals, places, & practices. And a wondrous 'honeymoon period' can occur in religion / spirituality which feels very much like falling in love. Sadly the 'high' doesn't last, and along with it, enthusiasm for religion / spirituality can peter out, leaving adherents with nothing more than a social club for those trapped in 'ordinary unhappiness.'
    A growing number of people sense that there must be a deeper, wiser way of being than wallowing in anxiety / depression. And of course shamans, mystics, saints & serious meditators have known, spoken & written about wisdom traditions for thousands of years: shamanism, Taoism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Kabbalah, Christian Mysticism, Sufism, etc. http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=perennial .
    Mature mystics tell us that becoming a mystic does not make all our difficult challenges disappear. With lifelong practice, mystics gradually integrate mystical insights into their daily lives. This means that they gradually become less-and-less focused on personal concepts, preferences, likes & dislikes, etc and more-and-more focused on the welfare of others. This profound shift in consciousness eliminates more than 90% of unnecessary (self-inflicted) suffering: no longer getting angry the many, many times 'things don't go our way.' HOWEVER, mature mystics still experience constant change, aging, sickness, pain & death; and actually feel their own & others' hurts & sorrows much more than the average person BUT experience it all from a very different, much wiser perspective, with little if any suffering.

    “Humans live through their myths, and only endure their realities."
        Robert Anton Wilson. “Cosmic Trigger 1. Final Secret of the Illuminati.” Hilaritas Press, 2016.

    What we hear or read about mature mystics are 'myths' to those who've had little or no mystical experiences, but are simply the reality experienced by other mature mystics, regardless of their background, geography, or time.

 
    “… there is within me something greater, something far more wonderful than I have yet been able to show to the world … something intrinsically good …” 
    Rev. Roshi P.T.N.H. Jiyu-Kennett, “The Wild, White Goose. The Diary of a Female Zen Priest.” ed 2. Shasta Abbey Press, 2002.

    "There is something greater than us, this nondual reality of which we are a part. And you’re always connected to it. There’s no way not to be connected. But you can block it. And unblocking is what these practices are for." 
    Rami Shapiro. CHALLENGING BELIEFS: Are You a VICTIM of Spiritual Misguidance? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rZLlvXFQ7k

    One of the many mystical insights we are ALL capable of receiving is that "there is within me something greater." After this, instead of fearing we're alone, meaninglessly lost in a hostile universe, we KNOW that each of us is a precious, integral part of the intelligent loving Source of all there is.

    “View all traditions and views as non-contradictory, 
      And as true expressions of the Buddha’s teachings.”  
            Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche, ‘Heart of Compassion”

    Highly-evolved beings like Sri Anandamayee Ma understand that "the 'personalized gods' of organized religion - whether Brahma, Buddha, Allah, or 'God the Father' of Christianity - are 'like ice, different forms of what is really only [the] pure formlessness' of water: 'When you become attracted and get in touch with a particular Divine form, as you become more absorbed in it, you one day find out that S/He is indeed the formless. Then you see that S/He is sakara [with form] as well as nirakara [without form], as well as beyond both.'"

        Diane Perry felt a strong call to become a Tibetan Buddhist nun when she was 17. As part of her training, renamed Tenzin Palmo, she spent 12 years meditating alone in a 6x6 foot cave in the Himalayas at an altitude of 13,000 feet.
    Most of us can become very upset over ridiculously trivial inconveniences - "first world problems." For context, Buddhists consider the entire realm of existence as 'samsara' - an endless circle of birth and rebirth mired in 'dukkha' - suffering (but more accurately, ‘unsatisfactory’).  
    Tenzin Palmo's reaction to a problem can be a valuable lesson for ALL of us:
    "One spring as the snows melted, her cave flooded. Sick and soaking wet, Palmo sat in her meditation box examining her plight. ‘I was thinking, “Yes, they were right in what they told me about living in caves. Who would want to live in this horrible wet?” It was cold and miserable and still snowing. 
    Then suddenly I thought, ‘Are you still looking for happiness in samsara? We’re always hoping that everything will be pleasant and fearing that it won’t be.’ Suddenly, she realized, ‘“It doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t matter. Samsara is dukkha. There’s no problem. Why expect happiness? If happiness is there, happiness is there. If happiness isn’t there, what do you expect? It really doesn’t matter.” 
    When I felt that in my heart, this whole weight of hope and fear just dropped away. … It was an enormous relief. … Why do we make such a big fuss when we suffer? It doesn’t matter. We go on.”

    Even before she left England for the Himalayas, Diane Perry started doing a Buddhist mantra practice of chanting ‘Om Mani Padme Hum.’ This practice reinforces the practitioner’s focus on compassion for other beings.
    She "was working in a library and couldn’t say her mantra aloud, so she began repeating it silently in her heart. ‘Within a very short time, my mind split and there was this quiet, calm, spacious mind with the 'Om Mani Padme Hum' reverberating within it, then there was this peripheral mind with all the thoughts and emotions. The two minds were detached from one another. This gave great poise to my mind and the ability to exercise far more choice over my thoughts and feelings because I was no longer immersed in them.’”
    Lawrence Pintak “Lessons from the Mountaintop. Ten Modern Mystics and Their Extraordinary Lives.” Sentient Publications, 2025. 

    If you're naturally empathic to the plight of others, continuously repeating (internalizing) the mantra, 'Om Mani Padme Hum' will gradually open & soften your heart and you'll feel warmth radiating from your chest. SUPERCHARGE THIS WITH Loving-Kindness Meditation: http://www.johnlovas.com/2022/12/deeper-dimensions-of-acceptance.html 
    If you have a more devotional temperment, and feel more at home with Christian spirituality, try using the mantra, 'maranatha' - Aramaic Christian exclamation meaning "Our Lord, come!" or "Come, Lord Jesus!" used in some Christian meditation practices.
    If you feel more comfortable with a secular mantra, try, 'Om (Aum)' - the sound of the universe, creation, and wholeness. Other secular mantras, "I am grounded," "I am calm," "I am safe," "I am loved," "I am enough," "I am at peace."

    With steady practice, our command center gradually shifts from being exclusively fear / thought-based ("fight / flight / freeze"), located in our head, to being increasingly love / compassion-based ("tend & befriend"), located in our heart. This intentional process of "de-armoring" our heart, allows us to perceive everything - joys & sorrows - of life with progressively greater sensitivity. 

 

“God dwells within you, 
as you.” 
Muktananda


“No effort is lost, 
No obstacles exist.” 
Bhagavad Gita

 

     

Illustration from onbeing.org