My small self OR the Divine OR ...

     From my earliest childhood memories, I've sensed a wise, loving, guiding presence in my life. As an adult, I thought that somehow I'd forgotten who exactly this powerful influence on me was - perhaps my Dad, my favorite aunt or some other kind individual. This sense arose almost certainly before "individuating" into my small separate self.  
    Nevertheless, I maintained the connection to this relationship, understanding that my mind was not enough, that I needed all of my intelligences to deal with the challenges of daily life. So here I was assuming that this was something like intuition, perhaps bodily way of knowing, or even some spiritual connection to animals or nature.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us." Marianne Williamson

    When I was 50 or so, I had the insight that a key spiritual shift was the realization that instead of desperately needing love, our very nature can somehow transform, and spiritually turn inside out, becoming the source of love. 

    “In my world love is the only law.  
     I do not ask for love, I give it.”                     Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

 
    Then, facilitating Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) courses, I would talk about each of us having both a "Hurt Inner Child" as well as a "Wise Grandparent" sub-personality or 'part' (Internal Family Systems {IFS}). When the Hurt Child in us is triggered & upset, the Wise Grandparent in us can see the bigger picture and bring loving comfort.

    This morning, while listening to Helen Hamilton's wise nondual teaching (below), I realized after almost 8 decades of wondering, that the mysterious presence from my early childhood was, is, and will be "Self" - the aspect of our unique personhood that is one with the transpersonal Divine. This is love, the life force that animates us and all phenomena as well as the unseen. 

"When we try to pick out anything by itself, 
we find it hitched 
to everything else in the universe." 
John Muir

 

    Recognizing nonduality is said to be as challenging as it is for fish to recognize the water in which they live. Water is everywhere outside & inside the fish, it's what they are, it's taken for granted, and therefore "hidden in plain sight" - almost undetectable. And yet, the difference in one's quality of life as one shifts from dualism to increasingly seeing from a nondualistic perspective is indescribable. Here is Angelo DiLullo's story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OKU-3-jXAA

    Below, Helen Hamilton provides guidance in self-inquiry to help discern who/what we truly are, which is also "hidden in plain sight" - almost undetectable.

Helen Hamilton: “Cutting Through Illusion with the Sword of Discernment!"