Oneness and Othering

     The way we imagine ourselves, our self-concept, depends on what we're looking at and how engaged we feel. 
    If it's a beloved person, pet, activity or even object, we may well feel at-one-with them. Neither we nor our beloved seems to have boundaries. This has been called a Unitive experience or Oneness. It's primarily a felt experience - as one hugs or kisses a beloved, stares into a baby's or very young child's eyes, holds a puppy's head and stares into its eyes, there is simply unconditional love flowing unimpeded both ways. 
    However, the more different, cautious, afraid, angry or especially hostile we feel, the thicker & more impermeable the protective walls we erect. Often we feel superior in some way than the other. We are right, others are wrong. This "othering" is supercharged when there is a perceived or actual power imbalance - "might makes right." The swaggering bully, be it in the playground, school, workplace, bar or political arena, displays psychosocialspiritual immaturity. When such delusion of superiority is capped by "God is on OUR side" - religious exclusivism / narcissism - then ANY behaviour becomes not only justified but "sanctified!" When any leader consistently behaves destructively AND is allowed to get away with it, we're dealing with a dangerous cult. Sadly cult members often remain ardent followers to the bitter end. 

    "Tom was in his mid-thirties when a truck he was working under fell and crushed his chest. He had a very elaborate near-death experience (NDE). There were many parts of it, but one part was his life review. He went back over every event in his life in minute detail. He said, ‘I could count the number of mosquitoes that were buzzing around me at this time, which he couldn’t have done during the event, but in the NDE he did. And he said, ‘Not only that, but I experienced everything through my eyes and through the eyes of other people involved in the scene.’ He described one incident in particular, when he was a teenager, driving his truck down the street, when a drunk man wandered out in front of him. He jammed on the brakes, and was furious at the man for almost denting his truck. So he rolled down the window and started yelling at the man. And the man, being quite intoxicated, reached his hand in the window and slapped Tom across the face. You don’t do that to an angry teenager.
    So Tom got out of the truck, and started beating the man up. And he left him a bloody mess on the median strip. Now Tom tells me, when he relived this in his life review, he felt it through his own eyes – the adrenaline rush, the rage. And he also felt at the same time, through the eyes of the drunk man – the humiliation of being beaten up by this kid, the 32 blows of Tom’s fist in his face. Now Tom couldn’t have told you it was 32, but reliving it anew in an NDE, he felt 32 of them. He felt the man’s nose getting bloodied, he felt the man’s lower teeth going through his lower lip. And he came back realizing we’re all the same thing. There’s no difference between me & that man. It’s like if you’re looking at your fingers, they look like they’re separate things, but they’re really connected, and you can’t cut one off without hurting them all. So the Golden Rule for near-death experiencers is not a guideline, it’s the way things are.”
    Dr. Bruce Greyson - "After" 2023: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViCWJWHR0a8

    Before his NDE, Jonathan Ashford had nothing to do with religion / spirituality. During his NDE, he like most ND experiencers, was welcomed with unconditional love. He now understands that the Divine has no interest whatsoever in which quirky little religion, if any, you belonged to. The Divine likely inspired Emo Philips' comedy sketch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANNX_XiuA78

    “Never do to others what you would not like them to do to you.” Confucius 500 BCE

    Increasingly, people understand the Golden Rule from a non-dual perspective ie that my neighbour, myself & the Divine are one & the same - ONE entity manifesting as infinite variety of appearances, including everyone & everything: spiritually independents, scientific materialists, agnostics, atheists, theists, "president-for-life" dictators, drug dealers, petty crooks, mosquitoes, dogs, birds, fish, trees, rocks, mountains, oceans, earth, sun, moon, clouds, sky & cosmos. Divine non-dual infinite potential self-reflecting by manifesting as & exploring duality - the material world of opposites.

    “A mystic sees beyond the illusion of separateness into the intricate web of life in which all things are expressions of a single Whole. You can call this web ‘God, the Tao, the Great Spirit, the Infinite Mystery, Mother or Father,’ but it can be known only as love.” Joan Z. Borysenko PhD

     On manifesting as humans, we tend to forget our true nature, AND also forget most of our wisdom. Awakening is remembering who we truly are - and - how to live appropriately as 'dual citizens' of non-duality & duality.

    So, no matter who we think we are, let's be kind, humble & pull together like wise, nurturing grandparents.