Balance

     What is reasonable, appropriate, balanced, is context dependent. When a wildfire is closing in on their home, people should rush to gather family, pets, their most precious belongings, and escape as quickly as possible. However, a family going on vacation behaving as if a wildfire were closing in would clearly be unreasonable, inappropriate, unbalanced.

    For a variety of reasons, many have a distortedly pessimistic perception of their current & future context.
    Past traumas & ongoing traumas: racism, bullying, poverty, etc, lead to perceiving mainly danger, to great difficulty trusting anyone / anything, and being trapped in survival mode.
    News media almost exclusively focus on tragedy: murders, mass shootings, wars, fires, landslides, losses & misery of every kind. "Human interest stories" have devolved to this. The tremendous amount of kindness, good will, forgiveness, generosity & collaboration just to keep our busy transportation systems, factories, health-care systems & businesses running smoothly never seem to be newsworthy.
    Advertising firms earn billions convincing us that our only chance for happiness is through buying advertised products & services.
    Many unwittingly turn legitimate science into a fundamentalist religion. Secular materialist dogma preaches that science can & very soon will know EVERYTHING, & be able to control EVERYTHING. They furthermore assume that everything, including human beings, are nothing more than machines, arisen by chance, meaningless, and will inevitably disintegrate, end of story.

     A leading PTSD expert wrote: “If you feel safe & loved, your brain (is) specialized in exploration, play, & cooperation; if you are frightened & unwanted, it (is) specialized in managing feelings of fear & abandonment." Bessel Van Der Kolk. “The Body Keeps the Score. Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma.” Penguin Books, 2015.  

    “William Blake said, ‘As a man is, so he sees.’ ... the way a person sees or understands him or herself deeply conditions the ways he or she sees & understands objects, others & the world.” Rupert Spira

     These potent influences (above) in which we are SATURATED have produced our profoundly unhealthy, unsustainable, toxic, left-hemisphere-dominant culture. Historically, whenever cultures became left-hemisphere-dominant, they quickly collapsed.
    Whenever the right hemisphere is dominant, cultures thrive and the left hemisphere serves an important but limited, supportive role. Iain McGilchrist spent 30 years researching, writing & speaking about hemispheric differences. From one of his many SUPERB interviews: Iain McGilchrist: "Wisdom, Nature and the Brain" - The Great Simplification #85 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dogVQDydRGQ 

    "... the most important parts of religious experience & practice, the consensus is, seem to be underwritten by the right hemisphere. The left hemisphere is sort of necessary for systematizing it and turning it into a durable phenomenon such as Christianity or whatever it may be, Islam. But in doing so, it often over legalizes, makes over-certain, over-fixed what should be less certain, more fluid, more awe-inspiring, in fact.

    ‘Most human institutions, by the purely technical & professional manner in which they come to be administered, end by being obstacles to the very purposes which their founders had in view.’ William James

    I think we’ve lost the capacity for three very important things: a sense of awe or wonder; a sense of our own humility, or the humility we should have; and compassion. And I think these are the things that most religions that are real religions, or spiritual traditions that are true spiritual traditions, have in common, that they induce and rekindle in us a sense of wonder. They make us feel appropriately humble about what we can do & what we can know, and they increase our sense of oneness with and compassion towards the rest of the created world.
    Now I think that is what’s going wrong. I think we’ve completely failed to understand that religion is not about a matter of propositional belief, but dispositional belief. Belief is a matter of a disposition of your consciousness towards the world in a certain way. It’s not about propositions or six impossible things that you have to believe before breakfast. That’s not what religion’s about.
    And what I want to do in my work is take people from a standpoint where they will almost certainly be part of the culture that believes that only somebody rather simple or uneducated would think that there was a divine realm, to a position where they will see that only somebody who’s rather simple or uneducated would just want to rule that out. I’m not saying would become suddenly religious, but I think it’s extremely clear that people who either are fundamentalist religious or fundamentalist atheists are on the wrong track, and that they have more in common with one another than they have with true believing people. In any case, I just think that business of the ever-evolving, deeper relationship, a loving relationship with the world in all its manifestations, IS the secret of human wellbeing & happiness.
    And you say that there is now a different religion, that of economic growth and so on. … I’m sure you’re broadly right, and it reminds me of something that GK Chesterton said, that ‘When people stop believing in God, they don’t believe in nothing. They believe in anything.’ ((DJT became a Republican "because Republicans will believe anything.")) And that ‘anything’ for them ((and DJT)) is their own power, to become more & more rich, powerful, wealthy. And that leaves out of the count just about everything that sustains human happiness. And in the seeking for it, they will never find happiness. As a psychiatrist, I can tell you that the most successful people, the richest people, the most powerful people are not the world’s happiest people.”
    Interviewer, Nate Hagens: “As a former high-net-worth stockbroker on Wall Street, I totally concur with that assessment.”
    Iain McGilchrist: "Wisdom, Nature and the Brain" - The Great Simplification #85 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dogVQDydRGQ

    Despite the US's second relapse into cave-man rule, wisdom & decency CAN & WILL prevail!

     "All shall be well,
      and all shall be well,
      and all manner of things shall be well." Julian of Norwich (1342 – 1416) English Christian mystic

      “So long as one is merely on the surface of things, they are always imperfect, unsatisfactory, incomplete. Penetrate into the substance and everything is perfect, complete, whole.” Philip Kapleau. “The Zen of Living and Dying. A Practical and Spiritual Guide.” Shambhala, 1998. 

       "To be enlightened is to be intimate with all things." Zen Master Dogen 

      "I was born
       when all I once feared
       I could love.” Rabia Basri 

     "Once we are willing to be directly intimate with our life as it arises, joy emerges out of the simplest of life experiences." Roshi Pat Enkyo O'Hara

     "... everything yearns to be met. Everything yearns to resolve itself in love – that love being the open space of acceptance, of allowing, of staying resolutely present, and unconditionally open to every nuance of your inner experience." Amoda Maa. "Surfing the Heart of Darkness: Suffering as a Doorway to Liberation." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXlUsBYbv0w

      During meditation “you are not escaping the world; you are getting ready to fully embrace it.” Christine Skarda 

 

 All that's obviously alive & seemingly inanimate, awaits our recognition & love, for we are ONE

Deeper Dimensions of Acceptance

    We all keep the seriously-challenging & most meaningful aspects of life at a tolerable distance by exclusively relying on our left hemisphere. The left hemisphere can only undervalue & try to drown out the right hemisphere. The right hemisphere is open to the left hemisphere's valuable but limited role IN CONTEXT of the right hemisphere's infinitely broader & deeper perspective of life & our true nature.
    Most of us would do very well to immerse ourselves in psychiatrist Iain McGilchrist's decades of research findings, which skillfully update our understanding of how our two brain hemispheres profoundly affect our self-concepts, worldviews & our very survival: https://channelmcgilchrist.com/home/

    “I would define love very simply: as a potent blend of openness and warmth, which allows us to make real contact, to take delight in and appreciate, and to be at one with – ourselves, others, and life itself.
    ... love is the central force that holds our whole life together and allows it to function."
    John Welwood. "Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships. Healing the Wound of the Heart." Trumpeter, 2006. POWERFUL

    "To be enlightened is to be intimate with all things." Zen Master Dogen

    "I was born
     when all I once feared
     I could love.” Rabia Basri

    "Once we are willing to be directly intimate with our life as it arises, joy emerges out of the simplest of life experiences." Roshi Pat Enkyo O'Hara

    These 3 documentaries are imho well worth watching: "Stories We Tell" (2012, Netflix); "Selena Gomez: My Mind and Me" (2022, Apple TV+); and "Stutz" (2022, Netflix). In each, a well-known celebrity: Sarah Polley, Selena Gomez & Jonah Hill, respectively, lovingly share intimate details about themselves, as if we were very close friends.
    These movies are gentle, indirect invitations for each of us to open our own hearts - classically - first to ourselves, which is the most challenging for many of us, and then to loved ones, 'neutral' folks we barely know, then folks we have a bit of difficulty with, and finally long-time 'enemies. Sharon Salzberg is the go-to meditation teacher for 'Loving-kindness meditation' eg https://www.mindful.org/a-guided-loving-kindness-meditation-with-sharon-salzberg/

    Here's my humble suggestion for the 'BEST PRESENT EVER.' I promise that this will make you feel happier & more 'in control of your life' - in the best possible ways - than from any present you've ever received or given.
    START TODAY! Take 15 minutes to sit quietly by yourself. Bring to mind one person whom you've had a difficult relationship, and whom you'll be meeting within a week or so. This could be a family member, someone you work with, client, etc. I now warmly encourage you to do loving-kindness meditation specifically for this person. For just a few minutes, intentionally replace your usual adversarial self-talk about this person with kind wishes – at least once a day, for a week. With heart-felt sincerity, offer these wishes for this person, silently, 3 times slowly:

        May you be safe.
        May you be as healthy as possible.
        May you be happy.
        May you live with ease.

NOTICE how:
    • First, YOU are transformed as your heart de-armors, relaxes, opens & warms up a bit;
    • Then HOW you engage with this person, pleasantly surprises them, because you're now naturally embodying more balance, kindness, relatability & approachability; and less armoring / anxiety / anger / aggression.
    • This puts THEM at ease,
    • Then YOU find them surprisingly more pleasant & enjoyable to be with.

    You’ve just performed a miracle - transformed a hellish relationship into at least a neutral one, but perhaps a real friendship! You've ended a 'hurt child's' adversarial cycle & intentionally nurtured a wise elder 'tend & befriend' cycle! ENJOY your best present ever! Now you may well be motivated to continue with loving-kindness meditations for others - INCLUDING yourself.

    “It never hurts to think too highly of a person (OUR SELF INCLUDED!!!); often they become ennobled & act better because of it.” Nelson Mandela

 

Treasure Yourself ... by Mollycules www.BuddhaDoodles.com

Calling All Wise Elders

    Most of our thoughts are just echos of our conditioning. Remaining identified with the stream 'self-talk' or internal narrative - 'normal' level of thinking - is choosing to continue living a nightmare.
    “We are here to find that dimension within ourselves that is deeper than thought.” Eckhart Tolle
    We can access, & can integrate, a far deeper, far more evolved level of consciousness than the ordinary discursive (egoic) thought level that got us into the global mess we're in. We must re-discover, integrate & embody our authentic, mature, evolved Self and become the change we so desperately need right now.

    "The most important question a human being needs to answer according to Einstein: " 'Is the universe a friendly place or not?' ... If we believe that the universe is unfriendly ... peace will be elusive at best." Joan Borysenko. “Fire in the Soul. A New Psychology of Spiritual Optimism.” Warner Books, 1993.

    "A human being is part of the whole, called by us 'universe,' a part limited in time and space.
    We experience ourselves, our thoughts & feelings, as something separate from the rest - a kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us.
    Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures & the whole of nature in all of its beauty.
    The true value of a human being is determined primarily by the measure and the sense in which s/he has attained liberation from the (separate) self....
    We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if humanity is to survive." Albert Einstein 1934

    "Without a global revolution in the sphere of human consciousness, nothing will change for the better in the sphere of our being as humans, and the catastrophe towards which this world is headed - be it ecological, social, demographic or a general breakdown of civilization - will be unavoidable. . . The salvation of this human world lies nowhere else than in the human heart, in the human power to reflect, in human meekness and in human responsibility." Vaclav Havel, President of the Czech Republic, in his historic address to the U.S. Congress many years ago

    "When a system is far from equilibrium, small islands of coherence in a sea of chaos have the capacity to lift the system to a higher order." Illya Prigogine, physical chemist & Nobel laureate 

    "Never cease to stand like curious children before the Great Mystery into which we were born.” Albert Einstein  

      “I would define love very simply: as a potent blend of openness & warmth, which allows us to make real contact, to take delight in and appreciate, and to be at one with – ourselves, others, and life itself.
      ... love is the central force that holds our whole life together & allows it to function." John Welwood. "Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships. Healing the Wound of the Heart." Trumpeter, 2006. 

     "To be enlightened is to be intimate with all things." Zen Master Dogen 

      "I was born
       when all I once feared
       I could love.” Rabia Basri 

     "Once we are willing to be directly intimate with our life as it arises, joy emerges out of the simplest of life experiences." Roshi Pat Enkyo O'Hara

      During meditation “you are not escaping the world; you are getting ready to fully embrace it.” Christine Skarda  

 

 We really can do better!

From Alienation to True Intimacy

     "Americans suffer inordinately with what therapists call problems of the self - an inability to self soothe; an inability to sustain a satisfying and cohesive sense of self over time; an inability to warmly love the self; an inability to maintain an ongoing sense of belonging and a deep sense of meaning and purpose in life. … we live cut off from a sense of our true deep mutual belonging & interdependence, and we suffer from a painful sense of separation – a separation from the life of the body; a separation from the hidden depths of life, its mystery and interiority; a separation from the source of our own guidance, wisdom, and compassion; and a separation from the life-giving roots of human community.”
       Stephen Cope. “The Wisdom of Yoga: A Seeker’s Guide to Extraordinary Living.” Bantam Books, 2006.

      “If you pin your hopes on things outside your control, taking upon yourself things which rightfully belong to others, you are liable to stumble, fall, suffer, and blame both gods and men.
      But if you focus your attention only on what is truly your own concern, and leave to others what concerns them, then you will be in charge of your interior life. No one will be able to harm or hinder you. You will blame no one, and have no enemies.”
       Epictetus (55 – 135 AD), Greek Stoic Philosopher

     "... the philosopher and psychologist Eugene Gendlin, creator of a therapeutic approach called ‘Focusing,’ beautifully clarifies the nature and character of what is known through interoception, the viewing & experiencing of the body from the inside. Gendlin developed the widely influential notion of ‘felt sense,’ referring to what the body knows directly of itself, without the mediation of the thinking mind. For Gendlin, the felt sense, the ability to know one’s own interior, somatic experience, is the 'open sesame' of successful psychotherapies.
     Through (body-centered meditation practices), we learn how to extend our awareness into our body and we begin to sense what is there ... we are softening the boundary between our highly intentional, restricted, conscious ego mind and the limitless, unconscious domain of the body. When we do this, our conscious mind begins to tap into and connect with the somatic awareness that is already going on - mostly unbeknownst to us - in our body. In this larger field of consciousness, we are still conscious but in a very different way.
     It is as if we are waking up, within our Soma, and we suddenly find ourselves in a new world. We are uncovering a completely different experience of what our body is. We begin to see that what we formerly took to be our body was just a made-up version with little correspondence to anything real. We find in our body previously unimaginable vistas of spaciousness, experience arising that is ever surprising & fresh, an endless world of possibilities for ourselves and our lives.”
      Reginald A. Ray. "The Awakening Body. Somatic Meditation for Discovering Our Deepest Life." Shambhala, 2016.

       “When we sit in meditation, we can discover a way of being that is very different from our typical interactions with the world. For the period of time that we sit, we agree within ourselves to quiet the familiar internal chatter that goes on most of the time. We sit so that we can discover in ourselves this capability for stillness, for intimacy with our self. We can uncover the heart.
     This process of stilling the mind and opening the heart brings a great feeling of ease that courses through the body, releasing the sensation of holding back, of fragility or tightness, and freeing us to work with the challenges of life. I call that true intimacy. When we can actually feel what we are feeling, experience what we are experiencing, and recognize what we are thinking, then we become intimate with ourselves. This intimacy is a closeness, a quality of interiority, a nearness. To be intimate with yourself is to be so attuned to your own feeling-state and mind-state and perception-state that nothing is hidden, your whole being is available to your life. In this intimacy with self, we begin to recognize the habits of thinking that stop us from living confidently, generously, and vigorously. And we begin to trust ourselves.”
      Roshi Pat Enkyo O’Hara. “Most Intimate. A Zen Approach to Life’s Challenges.” Shambhala, 2014.

     "In human relationships, as mutual love deepens, there comes a time when the two friends convey their exchanges without words. They can sit in silence sharing an experience or simply enjoying each other's presence without saying anything. Holding hands or a single word from time to time can develop this communication. This kind of relationship points to the level of interior silence ..." Fr. Thomas Keating

"The flute of interior time is played whether we hear it or not,
What we mean by 'love' is its sound coming in.
When love hits the farthest edge of excess, it reaches a wisdom.
And the fragrance of that knowledge!
It penetrates our thick bodies,
It goes through walls —
Its network of notes has a structure as if a million suns were arranged inside.
This tune has truth in it.
Where else have you heard a sound like this?" Kabir

“May I meet this moment fully;
May I meet it as a friend.” Sylvia Boorstein

 

Susan Paterson "Strawberries and Cream" fogforestgallery.ca