On the Nature of Dialogue

          * Dialogue starts from a willingness to be tentative about what you know.
          * The focus of dialogue is on what is, rather than on ideas and opinions. 
          * You can participate by verbally or silently sharing perceptions.
          * Dialogue is letting the issue unfold in affection and mutual respect.
          * When a reaction arises, neither suppress it nor defend it, but suspend it in the mind and in the group, keeping it constantly available for observation and questioning.
          * Dialogue is being together and seeing together in an unfolding relationship.

          Krishnamurti Foundation of America                               www.kfa.org

Monet's Flowers

Establishing a New Way of Being

     "The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." Marcel Proust

     Many of us, even if we like & admire this quote, basically don't trust or believe in its value - "it's not practical!" We're not motivated to put it into practice. We assume that looking at "bad" situations "from a different perspective" is a useless game of pretending - that it doesn't actually change anything, we'd be simply fooling ourselves to try to feel a bit better.
     That certain practices fundamentally change who we are & our relationship to life is a foreign concept to most of us. 
     But the real problem is that our automatic default response to any adversity - & many arise daily - is adversarial - "me, myself & I" against the hostile world. This IS "natural" & appropriate for animals & cave-dwellers - BUT NOT for civilized humans today!
     Now we must PRACTICE to establish a new default way of being: open-hearted, nurturing presence. This is critically practical - because our old default reptilian ways are literally killing everything.

     "Practice refers to the discipline of cultivating a crucial capacity of mind, such as wisdom or concentration. Practices are rehearsals of desired qualities, which eventually become spontaneous, natural ways of being."
       Walsh R. “Essential spirituality. The 7 central practices to awaken heart and mind.” John Wiley & Sons Inc, NY, 1999.

Peggy's Cove, Nova Scotia, May 4, 2014

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.

Marcel Proust

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/marcelprou107111.html#ZuwzHpI8UKHfwDdc.99

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.

Marcel Proust

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/marcelprou107111.html#ZuwzHpI8UKHfwDdc.99

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.

Marcel Proust

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/marcelprou107111.html#ZuwzHpI8UKHfwDdc.99

Feeling Useful

     The sense of "agency" - competence, being capable, "feeling useful" seems to be a very deep basic human drive. If one isn't a "jack of all trades", and few of us are, then one needs to be a "team player". If collaborating with society doesn't work out, especially if one is rejected ("shunned" usually informally) by society, then there are fringe anti-social subgroups.
     Be it in the city, country or wilderness, a human being can rarely "make it" alone. Our ancestors, traveling in small bands, may well have left behind those who couldn't keep up or who could not otherwise contribute to the welfare of the group. So the sense of having to live up to familial, tribal, ... societal expectations is a very real, very deep, inborn motivator.
     But society is also sustained, nurtured, and advanced in unexpected ways. Court jesters - today's political comedians (Bill Maher, Jon Stewart etc) - help both rulers & society see absurdities, & hopefully deal with them more creatively (than avoidance or violence). Those rejected by society or vice versa, also serve as persistent open questions - how can society evolve to become more inclusive, a more healing / nurturing home for too many "wayward children".
     Deep down, all of us care deeply about the long-term welfare of the human race and planet earth. Each of one us is an inherent part of the whole.

Shifting Operating Systems from Doing to Non-doing Mode

     The default setting for most people is the "doing" mode - we "keep busy", be it working, planning, worrying, regretting, playing, daydreaming. We're always "on the go", be it physically or mentally. Were this "busyness" consistently useful, we'd be amazingly productive. But much of our "doing" is a dysfunctional attempt to avoid existential angst. 
     Through meditation practice we learn experientially that the content of our buzzy heads does not accurately reflect us, nor the world (cognitive defusion). If we sit still, let go of self-talk, and simply engage with our bodies & our external environment directly, in real time, we gradually shift operating systems. We go from a "doing" to "non-doing" mode. 
     • Buzzy confusion & reactivity is replaced by peace, spaciousness, & wisdom. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/09/403-mindfulness-wisdom.html
     • Stress is replaced by a sense of being centered. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/04/313-being-stressed-out-is-optional.html
     • The hurt child is replaced by the wise grandparent. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/04/311-fearful-child-wise-grandparent-were.html

     Activity in "non-doing" mode continues, but is now directed by a much more evolved operating system (prefrontal cortex) and is therefore in service of long-term allocentric / ecocentric (rather than short-term egocentric) benefits.

     “If you sit down to meditate, even for a moment, it will be a time for non-doing. It is very important not to think that this non-doing is synonymous with doing nothing. They couldn’t be more different. Consciousness and intention matter here. In fact, they are key. 
     On the surface, it seems as if there might be two kinds of non-doing, one involving not doing any outward work, the other involving what we might call effortless activity. Ultimately we come to see that they are the same. It is the inward experience that counts here. What we frequently call formal meditation involves purposefully making a time for stopping all outward activity and cultivating stillness, with no agenda other than being fully present in each moment. Not doing anything. Perhaps such moments of non-doing are the greatest gifts one can give oneself.”
     Kabat-Zinn J. “Wherever you go, there you are. Mindfulness meditation in everyday life.” Hyperion, NY, 1994. 

Steve McCurry   stevemccurry.com