Getting Unstuck from Dark Emotions

     We routinely, automatically use our dominant approach to solve ALL problems. And when it doesn't work, we double-down and try even harder with the same approach! This simplistic rigidity seems to be our default setting.
    Since we're not dealing with a nail, let's set aside the old hammer, open up our neglected toolbox of far more sophisticated, evolved, subtle skills!

    Amoda Maa provides expert guidance on how to free ourselves from feeling stuck in the cycle of dark emotions. Listen to her short (9 min) video (bottom of page) and read along with this transcript :

    “When that feeling is here, contemplate, investigate within yourself as you sit here, and ask yourself, ‘Is it possible to recognize the groundless ground within which this feeling is being experienced?’

    This is not a denial of the feeling, which is a texture. But the texture, the tapestry is being woven upon a canvas. And in this case the canvas is invisible. It’s that very subtle sense of Beingness, is it not true, that’s always here, whether the feeling is prevalent or not?

    So this expands your attention. It expands the perspective. It softens the perspective, and it undoes the self, so there’s no self that’s being with the feeling. It is recognizing the groundless ground out of which self and all experiences appear.

    You may experience this as a kind of lightness (peaceful spaciousness). So when that feeling, that texture revisits you, it may – and we don’t know, you have to discover and be open to it – it may have a slightly different texture as time goes on. Your job, if you like, is to recognize that subtle, invisible groundless canvas space awareness Beingness that is always here, within which this feeling, this texture, this tapestry is appearing, and then disappears and may reappear.

    But you may find that the reappearance has a slightly different texture to it over time. Can you see how this shifts your attention? It’s not a denial. It’s not a pulling away from it. It’s recognizing what holds it. And what holds it is Open Awareness. There’s never anything else but Open Awareness that holds everything, holds the whole of existence. When I say hold it’s not limited by a boundary. It’s open, unbounded, infinite holding.”
    Amoda Maa “How to Break Through Feeling Stuck in the Cycle of Dark Emotions” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hejf275VKR4

    I HIGHLY recommend her VALUABLE book:
    Amoda Maa. “Embodied Enlightenment. Living Your Awakening in Every Moment.” Reveal Press, 2017.

On Becoming The Person You’ve Always Wanted To Be

     Below is a transcript from imho an excellent, valuable interview containing important points that our anemic culture knows or cares little about YET is vitally important to every one of us:

1) Most people enjoy light, upbeat music (stories, movies, plays, books, etc), and tend to criticize music outside of that comfort-zone as depressing, "too deep for me," or confusing. Most of us are acclimatized to our stunningly shallow, consumer society. Immediately following 9/11, Americans were encouraged by their president to "go shopping" to show the world what they're made of! While many went shopping with patriotic fervor; history will find such blissful ignorance impossible to comprehend.

2) We see discomfort as a violation of our basic human rights, and respond to deep suffering with strong aversion, anger, & try every possible escape: an endless array of distractions, suppression, alcohol, drugs - prescribed & otherwise, possibly ending in depression, bitterness & cynicism. Yet hardships & pain are not meaningless punishments. Like everything else in life, they're to learn from, to help us evolve. Most people simply can't handle this last point, so they choose to rail against this reality. Arguing with reality is choosing to suffer needlessly. The infinitely wiser alternative is to relax our ego & body, and humbly learn all the deep lessons being offered. There's absolutely no comparison between these two approaches, yet most of us will absolutely exhaust the first, before trying the second out of shear desperation & utter fatigue.

3) Even psychosocial-spiritually-evolved human beings can & do have all sorts of hardships, including prolonged severe physical pain eg Buddha, Jesus, and in current times, Adyashanti, Jordan Peterson, etc. This can be a shockingly unpleasant surprise, at a time when we may have (prematurely) assumed that we've already 'processed' enough pain, suffering & even heavy "dark nights of the soul." But, as long as we're alive, learning - at times from very hard lessons - continues.

4) We mistakenly assume that happiness comes only after we're finished climbing up the mountain, but as long as we live, we can and need to grow. With age, growth clearly becomes increasingly internal ie integrating our values more & more completely into our lived experience ie intention, speech & other behaviors. The quality of happiness we experience also changes, becoming progressively more subtle, deep, independent of external circumstances & independent of others' opinions. Happiness feels more & more like home, equanimity, peace, silence & stillness (not the brief 'sugar-high' of winning a lottery).

     Steven Bartlett asked Jordan B. Peterson, ‘How are you doing?’ Peterson responded,
     “Brilliantly and terribly. You know, when you listen to a profound piece of music, one that sort of spans the whole emotional experience, it’s not happy. Happy is elevator music. Probably, you shouldn’t listen to that at all. And you think, ‘Why?’ Well, it’s harmless, treacly, sweet, simple, lacks depth, it’s shallow – that’s a problem. It doesn’t have that deep sense of awe & horror, I would say, that’s characteristic of the best of all music.
     You know, you listen to some so-called 'simple music' – Hank Williams is a good example. You know the blues cowboy from the 1950s, who died of alcoholism when he was 27, and whose voice sounds like an 80-year-old man. Simple melody, you know, but there’s nothing simple in the song and in the voice. It’s deep. You know it’s like black blues in the States from the 1920s. He was certainly influenced by that tradition. There’s this admission of a deep suffering at the same time as you get the beautiful transcendence of the music. And that’s meaning, you know, that’s awe-ful in the most fundamental sense but, you need an antidote to suffering, and it has to be deep. And deep moves you tectonically and it’s not a trivial thing. But that’s better than happiness. And maybe, if you’re lucky, while pursuing that and while you’re immersed in it, you get to be happy. And you should fall on your knees and be grateful that when it happens. You know it’s a gift. It really is a gift. And it comes upon you unexpectedly – your happiness, you know. But you aim to climb uphill to the highest peak you can possibly envision. And that’s better than happiness.

      Wherever I go in the world, people come up to me and, I wouldn’t say they’re happy to see me. They’re often in tears, and they often have a pretty rough story to relate – they were suicidal, or nihilistic, or homicidal, or trapped, desperate. And they tell me that, real fast. And then they say, ‘I’ve overcome that to a large degree, and thank you for that. And then you think, well that’s really something, to have that happen over & over. In some ways you might think, well how can anything better possibly happen to you, than to have people come up to you all over the world, strangers, and open themselves up to you like that, like they’re old friends, so quickly? But at the same time, it’s an awful thing, because you see even in the revelation of their triumph, the initial depth of their despair. So I wouldn’t change that. But it’s not nothing. It’s certainly not just happiness. It’s better than happiness, but it’s almost unbearable."

Q: "Why do you do what you do?"
     “To see what will happen. Some programs you cannot predict. You cannot predict how they’re going to end. You have to run them. Well, I believe that truth will save the world. I believe that. So you speak truthfully, and you watch what happens. And you take your consequences. And maybe you hope and have some faith that, in the final analysis, things will work out in your favor, but perhaps they will and perhaps they won’t. But that’s faith, eh? That’s faith. Faith isn’t believing in things that you regard as ridiculous, sacrificing your intellect. It’s a decision. Will truth, beauty & love save the world? Well, you can find out."
     Jordan Peterson: How To Become The Person You’ve Always Wanted To Be | E113 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uLDin9A9pc EXCELLENT INTERVIEW well worth investing 1hr 6min of time

Religions, Languages & Wonder

     “Religions are like languages: 
• all languages are of human origin; 
• each language reflects and shapes the civilization that speaks it; 
• all languages make meaning out of the raw facts of our existence;
• no language is true or false; 
• there are things you can say in one language that you cannot say (or say as well) in another; 
• the more languages you know, the more nuanced your understanding of life becomes; and 
• as important as languages are, the final ‘language’ of wisdom is silence.” 
       Rami Shapiro. “Holy Rascals. Advice for Spiritual Revolutionaries.” Sounds True, 2017.


     About those conversations in my head: http://www.johnlovas.com/2020/04/far-far-beyond-self-talk.html


          “When there is silence,
           one finds the anchor of the Universe
           within oneself.”                                         Lao Tzu


     “Perhaps as a child you sensed a world that touched a deep and mysterious wonder. You may have had an experience you felt certain no one would understand and so you never shared it, but it has stayed in your heart – some kind of knowing that seemed at once completely true and yet confusing to your mind. Perhaps there was a moment in a temple of trees when a shaft of light from the rising or setting sun struck the jewel of your heart. You may have been hiking on a mountain when you suddenly were stopped by joy, wonder, or a sense of awe. It was not just the view, the misty colors of the many ridges you could see in the distance. Your senses touched the Infinite, and you experienced beauty; something vast touched the vastness within you. Its radiance may have come as moonlight playing on the ocean’s waves. It may have shone through a piece of art, a poem, or a dream that touched what connects us.
     You may have had a glimpse while sitting in a church or a temple, when the silence and reverence of place seemed to invite you to the silence within your Self. Perhaps you felt it when a baby gazed into your eyes from the eyes of such innocence that all of your defenses melted in such sweetness. The jewel may have shone through the stories you have read, heard, or experienced from great spiritual masters in various traditions. What sparkles is not the stories or words; it is something deeper that touches your heart.
     The jewel seems to shine most brightly when we experience love – love for a person, a pet, a moment. … 
     It is the jewel that gives rise to our impulse to know it more deeply and to want it to be revealed more consciously. Bubbling from the hidden depths of our Being arises an impulse to know what seems to lie beyond our limited ideas of who we are. There arises a sense of mystery, an impulse to know God, Truth, Self, enlightenment, love, or peace. This is spiritual impulse. Infinite Truth or Spirit has placed a longing in our heart, in the heart of our awareness, to know itself, to awaken itself beyond egoic consciousness. This impulse transcends both ego and self. We could call this impulse ‘the seed of enlightenment,’ a seed that has been planted deep within and perhaps has lain fallow in the rich soil and silent ground of our Being.

     Spiritual practices are methods that can begin to soften our stance toward our self, toward life in general, and to open us to what transcends the habitual. They are invitations to become intimate with the wisdom of silence and stillness.” 
       Dorothy Hunt. “Ending the Search. From Spiritual Ambition to the Heart of Awareness.” Sounds True, 2018.

      “Awareness born of love is the only force that can bring healing and renewal. Out of our love for another person, we become more willing to let our old identities wither and fall away, and enter a dark night of the soul, so that we may stand naked once more in the presence of the great mystery that lies at the core of our being. This is how love ripens us -- by warming us from within, inspiring us to break out of our shell, and lighting our way through the dark passage to new birth.” John Welwood

Don Pentz - West River, Keji - acrylic on canvas - fogforestgallery.ca

Knowing Who We Are

     It's awfully easy to find oneself feeling desperately alone, lost in darkness. While those, under the illusion of control, may quickly judge this as abnormal, there are far wiser, nuanced explanations. Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl MD wrote: "An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior."
     A stunningly, qualitatively alternative worldview, shared by shamans, meditators, contemplatives, mystics & saints throughout time & all around the world, is that essentially, everything is perfect as it is! These representatives of all the world's different wisdom traditions, who appear to have reached, or come very close to the summit of human psychosocialspiritual evolution ("awakening" or level 6 of Culliford's stages of maturation: http://www.johnlovas.com/2018/10/nurturing-nonpartisan-human-maturation.html), characterized by peace, love, connection, equanimity, harmony, wholeness, empathy, spaciousness & joy within this very human life we all share. 
     One might assume that such a positive worldview & way of being comes from being lucky enough to live an easy life or is purely delusional. However, shamans, meditators, contemplatives, mystics & saints usually arrive at their worldview after living through serious hardships, including one or more "dark night of the soul" experiences. They are fully, experientially aware of, and in open, empathic connection with the very depths of human suffering. AND, they're EQUALLY fully, experientially aware of, and intimate with, the very depth of who we are - something beyond common human conceptual understanding.
     All wisdom traditions claim that in order for us to thrive, to live full, happy lives, we also must learn to open up to this uncommon dimension of who we actually are. Many times each day, all of us experience, though tend not to deeply comprehend, the inherent unsatisfactoriness of ordinary human life. Working harder, smarter, longer hours, being harder on ourselves, running away, distracting ourselves, dissociating, - none of our mental or physical gymnastics can possibly fix, control, or change existential realities.
     Perhaps the "easiest" & most common pointer towards our own depth is experiencing disillusionment with the rat race inherent in ordinary human life. After stewing in stress hormones (adrenalin & cortisol) of the fight-or-flight adversarial survival instinct for decades, we may finally discover the power of self-kindness and tap into our natural mammalian caregiving system ("tend & befriend" instinct), releasing oxytocin - the hormone of love & bonding. "The emotion of care comes naturally to us, because without it our species would not be able to survive. This means that the capacity to feel affection and interconnection is part of our biological nature. Our brains are actually designed to care." In our fear-dominated world, we can & urgently must realize & embody the critically-missing ingredient of love - the polar opposite & potent antidote to fear & stress - see: Kristin Neff. “Self-Compassion. The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself.” HarperCollins Publishers, 2011.

     We live in an age of dangerous imbalance between masculine & feminine energies. Shadow patriarchy - the dark side of masculine energy (which can also operate in women) - is running wild with unrelenting drive to power, dominance, & control. This is a doomed attempt to compensate for the loss of (healthy feminine energy) connection, love, & belonging, and ultimately for the loss of our ability to feel intimacy with life - see: Kittisaro & Thanissara. "Listening to the Heart. A Contemplative Journey to Engaged Buddhism." North Atlantic Books, 2014. 
     Balance is essential, especially between worldviews! At the level of common, consensual reality, there appear to be differences & thus adversarial relations between individuals, animals, environment, etc. Not just shamans, mystics & saints, but many serious meditators & contemplatives have non-dual perspectives ie live equally in both the ordinary world (common, consensual reality) as well as the non-ordinary, where everyone & everything is known to arise from the same source: "Numinous Ground of Being," "Emptiness," "The Godhead," "The Dazzling Dark" etc. Each of us is being called to return to our true home, to truly feel at home, to have a felt experience of nonduality. This is the only cure for the darkness of feeling trapped exclusively in ordinary reality.
     An interesting, hopefully helpful metaphor for non-dual perspective comes from nature: The largest organism on earth is thought to be Pando, a colony or clone of 46,000 aspen with a common root system, in central Utah’s Fishlake National Forest. Pando, also known as “the trembling giant,” covers over 106 acres, has a total weight of 6,000 tonnes, and is estimated to be 14,000 years old. This “huge underground singular root system sends up tens of thousands of clone aspen trees, each one genetically identical to the next.”

AwakeningArtsAcademy.com

   

Wise Relationship with Difficulties

     When we forget who we actually are, we tend to become isolated & imprisoned in claustrophobic self-concern. All our relationships - with ourselves, others, nature, every aspect of life - are distorted, resulting in a vague, lingering dissatisfaction with life all the way to the absolute depths of human suffering ('dark night of the soul'). When we live in direct contradiction to who we fundamentally are, we're 'fish out of water,' flopping around on the ground. Without awareness of & living in harmony with our true nature, we're fish trying desperately to feel at home, happy & fulfilled on dry land.
     Our true nature, according to wisdom traditions, is spacious, grounded loving awareness. To achieve some clarity about who we are and thus resume healthy, normal relationships, we need to open our heart-mind. Metta and seed of metta practices are key:
 
     “The Buddha identified loving-kindness – metta – as one of the essential qualities of heart that carries us to awakening. He encouraged his disciples to develop it and extend its healing blessing to all beings universally. He taught in the Metta Sutta: ‘Even as a mother protects her life, her child, her only child, so with a boundless heart should one cherish all living beings.’ This might seem impossible, but the Buddha is showing us the direction, and revealing the boundless treasure hidden in our own heart. We cultivate this large-hearted attitude, little by little, patiently and persistently. We can notice when we are touched by someone and naturally wish them well; be interested in that feeling of kindness and expand it to include ourselves and others – those we like, the one’s we’re neutral about, and even beings we dislike. This takes practice, but when we remember how important loving-kindness is for healing ourselves and the world, we’ll find the energy arrives. Actually, all living beings are our brothers and sisters in birth and death. We all suffer and wish to leave it behind. Reflecting on this, we don’t do to others what we don’t want them to do to us. An important premise for this practice is the principle: to others as to oneself.
     Our teacher Ajahn Sumedho taught us that the seed of metta is the attitude of non-contention, non-fighting, the willingness to allow things to be as they are and welcome them into our hearts. Sometimes if we try and convince ourselves we love everyone, it just feels false, or we end up in denial about all the reactions of resentment and aversion that regularly assail the heart. On the other hand, when we practice this friendly intention with all our thoughts, sensations, and moods – pleasant and unpleasant, beautiful and ugly – we find ourselves in an openhearted abiding that is not disturbed by anything. Whatever is bothering us, we welcome that too, just as it is, with an attitude of not-fighting, not harboring ill will. I’m very grateful to have been taught a gateway into this practice that is accessible.”

      Kittisaro & Thanissara. "Listening to the Heart. A Contemplative Journey to Engaged Buddhism." North Atlantic Books, 2014. * an exceptionally valuable book *

www.buddhadoodles.com