Tragicomedy?

     Don't most of us take ourselves & life far too seriously? We desperately want & work tirelessly towards having everything go well for ourselves & our loved ones. But despite all our best efforts, education & technology, “The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.” As a result, it's very easy & very common to become hopelessly cynical - the corrosive effects of which are powerfully illustrated in the 2014 movie, "Calvary" (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2234003/), available on Netflix. Two thousand years before Robert Burns, the Buddha taught about ("dukkha") the inherent imperfection of everything in the world, and how chasing after & trying to hang onto stuff just creates an extra layer of suffering, and how we can end such needless suffering.
    Kristin Neff PhD provides a short useful practice to deal more wisely with our own, everyone & everything else's imperfection: http://www.johnlovas.com/2018/11/self-compassion-mantra.html

     There are many reminders every day that, despite the fact that life at times does appear like "a real shit show," there is an underlying loving intelligence to life, with a wild sense of humor. This message even comes through at the very end of the otherwise dark movie, "Calvary." Of course it's not possible to have this rather startling insight while we're chasing control with every fiber in our body, nor while depressed over the fact that a lifetime of frantic chasing failed to deliver.
    Only when we start to recognize the important yet very narrow role of our frenzied survival & procreation activities, that some of us become able to hear the whispers of our far more evolved intelligence.
    Some near death experiencers - Natalie Sudman in particular - and others, have suggested that we knowingly volunteer for specific, sometimes very challenging roles & situations in life, for agreed-upon reasons, with considerable humor! BUT most of us completely forget about what we signed up for, causing a lot of unnecessary confusion & suffering.
    I highly recommend watching Natalie Sudman's video AND a detailed reading of "The Bus Stop Conversation" both at: http://www.johnlovas.com/2023/01/the-nearly-unforgivables.html

"Thus shall ye look on all this fleeting world:
A star at dawn, a bubble in the stream,
A flash of lightning in a summer cloud,
A flickering lamp, a phantom, and a dream."
Gautama the Buddha

"Lighten up!"

Just A Shift of Perception Away ...

     You, like many others, probably have some fear & anxiety about having dental or medical procedures like fillings, blood tests, colonoscopies etc. You might start worrying days ahead, thinking of worse-case-scenarios, pain, unlikely mishaps, etc and even have some sleepless nights beforehand. When you arrive for the procedure, you're likely tired, stressed & hypervigilant, ONLY noticing & MAGNIFYING any negative perceptions that confirm your worries, while OVERLOOKING or DISMISSING all positive perceptions - "negativity bias." Afterwards, you're exhausted, mulling over how terrible it was, complaining to all who'll listen. 

     You have everything to gain if you try this very simple experiment. Decide ahead of time to focus all of your attention on radiating kind wishes to the people who'll be treating you: dentist, assistant, physician, nurse, etc. Instead of agonizing, worrying & scaring yourself, remember to be the continuous source of kindness & good wishes towards those looking after you. FEEL the warmth, love, good wishes, radiating from your chest, as when watching a sleeping beloved child, partner, or pet, and radiating loving energy to them. As soon as you feel fearful contraction, let it drop, and focus on being the open-hearted source of love, kindness, encouragement, gratitude towards these folks who are helping you. Notice also how you feel when it's all over, compared to how you usually feel.
     I had advised someone, who was very apprehensive about dentistry, to try the above intentional shift from fearful contraction to being the source of nurturing kindness. He just reported to me that he had 3 excellent experiences using this technique for his last 3 dental appointments, which included a root canal & an implant placement.

     This shift from fearful contracted self-concern / frightened child to wise, loving elder is a natural evolutionary step we will all make sooner or later, AND it has to & will eventually involve not just dental/medical visits, but every aspect of our lives.

     “It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing. It is not how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving.” Mother Teresa

      Our son, Mike Lovas, pointed us towards Charles Eisenstein's 70-minute interview - an intelligent, realistic overview of our present global situation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggdmkFA2BzA

      "To be enlightened is to be intimate with all things." Zen Master Dogen

      "I was born
       when all I once feared
       I could love.”                        Rabia Basri

      "Once we are willing to be directly intimate with our life as it arises, joy emerges out of the simplest of life experiences." Roshi Pat Enkyo O'Hara

      “If we really were in love with the planet, and incorporated that love into all of our systems, into our money system, we would not have an ecological crisis.” Charles Eisenstein
      “If an economy is operating outside of ecological limits, then the inevitable conclusion is that it’s going to completely erode the resource base until it implodes or collapses. So really, the choice that we have is to design and develop an economy that operates within ecological limits. That’s our only safe bet. It’s our only bet at all.” Shane Ward
        Living the Change: Inspiring Stories for a Sustainable Future (2018) – Watch this EXCELLENT, INSPIRING 86-minute Documentary:

 

 

 

Let the Love-Light Guide

      How often have we seen creative ideas for solving serious problems get quickly shot down with, "Well, I HATE to be the devil's advocate, BUT ..."? This can come from someone who's seen this idea not succeed. However, far too often it's a clash between those who've given up, and those who can see a bright future & have the faith & energy to achieve it - a clash between dark, defeatist "deficit-framing" & creative, nurturing "asset-framing."
      There are lots of reasons for cynicism, depression, hopelessness & nihilism:
      Our evolutionary instinct is to far more vividly remember negative events than positive ones ("negativity bias"). This helped animals survive visits to water holes, but for today's humans, it probably causes far more harm than good, by energizing many of our irrational fears & phobias.
      Trauma is so widespread, psychologists estimate that "94% of us, most of the time, are driven by the negative motivations of fear, greed/craving, anger, & self-assertion; such negative motivations lead to negative & destructive behavior." Danah Zohar
      The dominant, though mostly unconscious worldview today, of "Materialist or Reductionist Science, has (MISTAKENLY) concluded that we are the only sentient beings in an inanimate universe that is without life, meaning, purpose, direction or intelligence. This bleak ‘philosophy’ has taken on the power & absolutism of an ideology.” Anne Baring
      Then we add the fact that the world is in the midst of multiple huge crises: climate change, air-water-food-land pollution, war & nuclear weapons, racism, sexism, wealth hoarding, millions of refugees on the move, rising sea levels. 

     Our global crises DEMAND that we abandon defeatist, dead-end attitudes like "deficit-framing", and bravely, energetically & optimistically chart a new course towards a wise, sustainable life. 

     “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't – you're right,” Henry Ford

     Asset-Framing is a narrative model that prioritizes our own & others' assets & aspirations over our challenges & deficits, and invests in people to benefit society. "Trabian Shorters, the creator of the non-profit social impact network BMe Community states 'Narrative tells us which facts to even credit, which facts to ignore, which things are real, which things are false, narrative literally tells you who you are, it tells you who matters, where you should go and where you should not go. Narrative is really the key to how we frame our lives.'" Mick Krasner https://mindfulpracticeinmedicine.com/aspirations-an-inspiring-focus-for-our-practice/  .

      Most of us have some memory of our common primordial Source, but the duality & adversarial nature of our consensual reality veils us from the Light. Some of us sadly choose to remain stuck in total darkness, at least for this lifetime.
     But darkness need not be feared. It is not an actual entity.
     Darkness is simply not remembering what's most real - Light.

     "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
      Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
      It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us."     Marianne Williamson

     We CAN "raise our motivations to the higher ones of exploration, cooperation, self- & situational-mastery, creativity, & service.” Danah Zohar https://spirituality.ucla.edu/docs/newsletters/5/Issue_5/Zohar_Final.pdf Those of us trapped in

     Let's end our tendency to feel hopeless, meaningless, drained & dark! We know this causes nothing but hopelessness, meaninglessness, listlessness & darkness.
     No matter how dark things may get, no matter how low the odds for success appear, IF our goal is NOBLE, we NATURALLY SUCCEED - merging our WISE LOVING INEXHAUSTIBLE energy with the LIGHT. We cannot imagine what our world WILL be like WHEN we realize our UNLIMITED CAPACITY to hold ourselves, others & the entire universe in safety & unconditional love. This imho pivotally important, intelligently mind-heart-expanding book helps give us the confidence to succeed: Paul Levy. “Quantum Revelation: A Radical Synthesis of Science and Spirituality.” SelectBooks, 2018.
     We ALWAYS CO-CREATE our reality, be it light OR dark! We've wandered in darkness for too long. We must NOW intentionally seek the Light!

     “To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness.
     What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places — and there are so many — where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.
     And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.” Howard Zinn PhD

If I stumble, will I fall?
If I fall, I'll tuck and roll
Close my eyes and let the love-light guide me home
Let the love-light guide me home
Let the love-light guide me home       "Skin and Bones" by Cage The Elephant 

I am that living fiery essence of the divine substance
that flows in the beauty of the fields.
I shine on the water;
I burn in the sun and moon and the stars.
The mysterious force of the invisible world is mine.
I sustain the breath of all living beings.
I breathe in the grass and in the flowers;
and when the waters flow like living things, it is I . . .
I am the force that lies hidden in the winds;
they take their source from me,
as a man may move because he breathes;
fire burns by my blast.
All these live because I am in them and am their life.
I am Wisdom.
The blaring thunder of the Word
by which all things were made is mine.
I permeate all things that they may not die;
I am life.                                                                 Hildegard of Bingen

Art by Mollycules www.BuddhaDoodles.com

Successful aging

     “The easy path of aging is to become a thick-skinned, unbudging curmudgeon, a battle-axe. To grow soft and sweet is the harder way.”                                                                 James Hillman

     "Aging is inevitable; becoming wiser with age is not. Researchers, theorists, and clinicians have noted that older adults approach their lives in one of two ways: Either they draw on their strengths and live life to the fullest, or they magnify their weaknesses and restrict their lives to succumb to life's inevitable end.
     Rigidity is a tendency to resist change, while flexibility is the ability to adapt to change. The conscious aging theory espouses late life as a period of deeper meaning and personal growth.
     As long as one remains engaged late in life, personality continues to develop. One's sense of self changes as one negotiates the conflicts proposed at each stage (of psychological development). The conflict assigned to 'old age' is that of integrity versus despair."

       Giblin JC. J Psychosoc Nurs Ment Health Serv 2011; 49(3): 23-6.

kate t. parker, National Geographic   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com