Tragicomedy?

     Don't most of us take ourselves & life far too seriously? We desperately want & work tirelessly towards having everything go well for ourselves & our loved ones. But despite all our best efforts, education & technology, “The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.” As a result, it's very easy & very common to become hopelessly cynical - the corrosive effects of which are powerfully illustrated in the 2014 movie, "Calvary" (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2234003/), available on Netflix. Two thousand years before Robert Burns, the Buddha taught about ("dukkha") the inherent imperfection of everything in the world, and how chasing after & trying to hang onto stuff just creates an extra layer of suffering, and how we can end such needless suffering.
    Kristin Neff PhD provides a short useful practice to deal more wisely with our own, everyone & everything else's imperfection: http://www.johnlovas.com/2018/11/self-compassion-mantra.html

     There are many reminders every day that, despite the fact that life at times does appear like "a real shit show," there is an underlying loving intelligence to life, with a wild sense of humor. This message even comes through at the very end of the otherwise dark movie, "Calvary." Of course it's not possible to have this rather startling insight while we're chasing control with every fiber in our body, nor while depressed over the fact that a lifetime of frantic chasing failed to deliver.
    Only when we start to recognize the important yet very narrow role of our frenzied survival & procreation activities, that some of us become able to hear the whispers of our far more evolved intelligence.
    Some near death experiencers - Natalie Sudman in particular - and others, have suggested that we knowingly volunteer for specific, sometimes very challenging roles & situations in life, for agreed-upon reasons, with considerable humor! BUT most of us completely forget about what we signed up for, causing a lot of unnecessary confusion & suffering.
    I highly recommend watching Natalie Sudman's video AND a detailed reading of "The Bus Stop Conversation" both at: http://www.johnlovas.com/2023/01/the-nearly-unforgivables.html

"Thus shall ye look on all this fleeting world:
A star at dawn, a bubble in the stream,
A flash of lightning in a summer cloud,
A flickering lamp, a phantom, and a dream."
Gautama the Buddha

"Lighten up!"

The Nearly Unforgivables

    It's hard not to be disgusted & angered by the brutality, criminality, war, hunger, poverty, disease, environmental devastation & suffering throughout the world. And even the most fortunate among us will see everyone & everything we love - ourselves included - change, age, get sick & die. To our usual, "normal" way of thinking these are incomprehensible & unacceptable.

    YET throughout the ages mystics, saints & other deeply spiritual people, and now, more & more ordinary people are awakening to a radically different reality:

      "All shall be well,
      and all shall be well,
      and all manner of things shall be well." Julian of Norwich (1342–1416) English Christian mystic 

    "We are one. And we are each perfect, exactly as we are.” Natalie Sudman
        http://www.johnlovas.com/2022/01/all-that-is.html

     How can we have such dramatically opposing perspectives on the state of our world? Perhaps the most comprehensive, detailed research directly related to answering this question has been carried out by former Oxford professor of literature, now psychiatrist, researcher & author, Iain McGilchrist: https://channelmcgilchrist.com/
    Attempting to briefly summarize several thousand pages of McGilchrist's 2 massive books, and many hours of lectures & interviews, is foolish, but here goes.
    Our usual way of thinking - what most of us consider common sense ("left-hemisphere perspective" LHP) - is highly goal-oriented towards controlling our external environment for our survival.
    Our far broader & deeper intelligence ("right-hemisphere perspective" RHP) helps us understand, relate to & be appropriate in context of "the big picture," including the most meaningful aspects of what it means to be a human being: love, values, connection, collaboration, nurturing etc. It is best equipped to deal with complexity, context, metaphor, paradox, the arts, etc - all essential when confronting topics such as spirituality & existential angst.
    So our two major levels of intelligence are both essential, with very different perspectives & competencies: LHP is for linear problem-solving & running practical tasks & procedures to keep us alive; while RHP keeps everything in appropriate perspective of the big picture (our worldview / self-concept / long-term goals). Because LHP has a narrow, task-oriented focus, it can't see any need for RHP's broad perspective; while RHP appreciates many pros & cons of any given task, including LHP's "let's get'er done!" Clearly, both must work in harmony. When only one of these runs the show - eg as seen in major strokes involving either, but especially the right hemisphere - the afflicted person is severely compromised.

    Our man-made ecological/climate disaster is finally forcing us to end this "hyper-rational" phase, where our heavy bias towards LHP was focused on one task: exponential growth in profits. Meanwhile, RHP was almost taboo, so context was completely ignored, devastating the quality of our air, water & soil, and with it the quality of human life, in fact posing an imminent threat to our very existence! It's as if the human race has suffered a devastating right-hemispheric stroke, and is now in the ICU.

    “Albert Einstein called the intuitive or metaphoric mind (RHP) a sacred gift. He added that the rational mind (LHP) was a faithful servant.
    It is paradoxical that in the context of modern life we have begun to worship the servant and defile the divine.” Bob Samples

 
    “Every great and deep difficulty bears in itself its own solution. It forces us to change our thinking in order to find it.” Neils Bohr

    We "Make sense with stories. If you give people facts without a story, they will explain it within their existing belief system. The best way to promote a new or different belief is not with facts, but with a story." Dave Gray. “Liminal Thinking. Create the Change You Want by Changing the Way You Think.” Two Waves Books, 2016. 

 

The Bus Stop Conversation - by Sue Morter
    "Just imagine you’re going to the bus stop one day, to catch the bus to come to earth, and while you’re there, you strike up a conversation with others at the bus stop. You ask them, 'What are you going to experience when you go in?' And the other person does the same. Somebody else says, 'Well I don’t know, I’ve never been.' 

    And somebody else raises their hand and says, 'I’ve been there before, crazy place, super wild. The last time I left, I accidentally, like coincidentally did this thing that they call "forgiveness," and it felt so amazing, that all this energy just rushed through me, and I let go of all these things that I’d been carrying around forever, and boom, I just had this amazing revelation, and it was over, because I was on my way out. So I’m going back, and I’m going to do that again, but I’m going to do it sooner, and do it bigger. So I’m going back for a level-10 forgiveness, and I can’t wait, because what I felt was amazing, and it’s going to be ten-fold of that.' 

    So another person at the bus stop goes, 'Woah, sounds great! How are you going to do that?' 

    'Well,' the first person answers, 'I guess I’ll have to experience something that’s nearly unforgivable. And then I’m going to live with that, be angry about that & frustrated, compress it inside myself, get down the road & feel the physical effects of that, my health is going to decline, I’ll live this contracted & compressed life, and at some point, I’m going to get sick & tired of being that way. I’m going to reach inside myself and going to find some part of me I didn’t even know I had, some in-depth level of forgiveness, reach down and express it out there, and I’m going to have this huge experience of forgiveness, and get to know a part of myself I never would have known.' 

    So the other people at the bus stop are saying, 'Woah, sounds amazing. How can we help?' 

    And the person says, 'Well somebody’s going to have to do something that’s nearly unforgivable – you know, like drink too much at happy hour, get behind the wheel, cross the center line, hit my car, take my loved ones, cripple me – these kind of things that could have been avoided, it has to be completely wrong, the wrong of wrongs. And so who will help me?'

    And everybody’s, ‘Not me! I don’t want to be that guy! Who wants to be that guy?’ 

    And so the conversation goes on, and the guy says, 'Come on, I bought my bus ticket, here I am, here’s my chance, don’t leave me out.' 

    And so finally, somebody in the back raises their hand and says, 'OK, I can see how much this means to you, I’ll be the one, I’ll be the perpetrator, the one that does these nearly unforgivable things.' 

    So this story can be interpreted in many different ways, in many different peoples’ lives. Invariably when I share this, people are crying, recognizing, ‘Oh my God, the person who abused me’ or ‘The person who abandoned me, actually was the one who finally raised their hand and helped deliver this scenario for me that is going to allow me to reach inside and find maybe a level-10 self-love that I never would have found had I been up against the adverse circumstance, the friction that was created from that dynamic.'"

    Interviewer: “Which is not to say that an abuser can say, ‘I’m doing this for your own good.’

    Sue Morter: "No, so, it’s not that we ask for it in that way. And ultimately that abuser is going to have to take inventory on what they’ve come here to learn. So it might be self-forgiveness, it might be redemption, it might be something along those same lines, that they will have to come to terms with, whether it’s now or whether it’s a few lifetimes later, it does resolve, because that is the way the universe works. It does abhor a vacuum, it wants to fill it, it wants flow & unity, so these kinds of concentrated energies that are unresolved cannot maintain themselves. So we’re here to resolve them consciously on the spiritual path so that we don’t have to pay it out karmically in some kind of unconscious manner, we can resolve that right here with our own awareness and intentions. 

    So the Bus Stop Conversation is to allow this understanding on more of a personal note that there is purpose, that nothing is bigger than us, that we managed it, that we requested it so we could awaken ourselves in certain ways, that we are bigger than these individual circumstances that we are facing in this life.” EXCELLENT interview: https://batgap.com/sue-morter/

        "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
         Than are dreamt of in your philosophy." Hamlet, William Shakespeare

    The 2022 movie, "Father Stu" on Amazon Prime, is imho an excellent, powerfully-portrayed true story of a transformative NDE.

Actual example of a Bus Stop type of conversation:
"My Near Death Experience in Iraq - Natalie Sudman"

 

All That Is

     Our brain, according to an increasing number of experts, acts as a "reducing valve" to prevent us from being overwhelmed by the infinite amount of information that surrounds us. The efficiency of this reducing function differs for each individual, resulting in very different perspectives.
    An extremely inefficient reducing valve can result in data overload, making navigating the world impossible. However, an extremely efficient reducing valve can give a false sense of certainty that one's extremely narrow worldview is accurate & all encompassing - that nothing outside of it can possibly exist. There are very popular secular ("scientism") and religious versions of such dogmatism. Simplified, easy-to-understand models of reality, to which everyone must conform, provides a temporary hiding place from reality - which is awe-inspiringly complex & ever-changing!
     Between these two extremes, is an infinite range of possibilities: markedly increased perceptual awareness, amazing creativity, & incredible skills in every arena: communication, visual arts, music, math, etc.
     Some instantly shut down & walk away when faced with above-average skills & capacities. Their narrow, rigid, mechanical worldview & identity would be shattered if they were to admit that extra-ordinary things can & do occur. No amount of data, evidence, or reasoning can cure this fearful emotional reaction, any more than it's possible to reason people out of a phobia.
    All of us have a (mostly unexamined) small box with walls or 'boundaries' - whatever's inside, we accept as 'real' & safe; everything outside, 'can't be real' & is terrifying. I've noticed that those who seem to have the most rigid boundaries, around the smallest 'box' are the most susceptible to having their boundaries / box blown wide apart by trauma eg a good friend & devoted family-man, who was rigidly anti-religious, unexpectedly lost his prestigious, high-paying job. He then suddenly abandoned his wife & children, joined a religious cult, changed his name, and moved to another continent.
     Many events can & will rock our world, both mundane (eg accidents) and "out of the ordinary" (eg NDEs) : http://www.johnlovas.com/2021/03/fascinating-overlap.html What's critical is learning to respond to shocks to our system in a way that transforms us into wise elders, instead of shrinking & hardening us into bitter victims!
    Wise maturation involves progressively expanding our horizons, opening up our mind & hearts, and exploring the ever-expanding, wondrous universe - our 'box' endlessly enlarging, its 'walls' / 'boundaries' becoming more & more porous to all that is.
      “People have accessed the higher realms through near death experiences, through mystical encounters, or through meditation. Others have had a sudden insight or ‘aha’ moment. All doors lead to the same place: a transcendent recognition that our true nature is spiritual, not physical. There often is a simultaneous awareness that we are all interconnected and that we are somehow manifestations of one energy.”
     Brian L. Weiss, Amy E. Weiss. ”Miracles Happen. The Transformational Healing Power of Past-Life Memories.” HarperOne, 2012.

     Natalie Sudman's near death experience (NDE) carries a wonderfully liberating, uplifting message for those of us with the 'bandwidth' to hear it:

      "I’ll try to describe some of the qualities & perspectives that were present in all the environments that I experienced (in my NDE). …
      In this non-physical state of being, there’s a profound sense of belonging. Everything about everyone that exists is not only accepted, but admired, respected, recognized & celebrated. There’s a cooperative co-passion for being that permeates everything that I experienced.
      Everything there is effortless. It is just so easy. It’s blissful, and it’s filled with a joy that is so fundamental, it’s only really remarkable from outside of that state of being.
     So imagine that everything you have ever thought, imagined, experienced, dreamed or created, was recognized to be valuable to you yourself and everyone else, to all that exists. Imagine that no matter what you do or how you express yourself, you belong and are valued. This is true. What was known to me, what was so basic as to be assumed was just that. That we are each intrinsically valuable, and everything we experience matters, not just to ourselves but to each other, and to all that is.
     I use the phrase ‘all that is’ instead of God, Source, Universe, whatever – a lot of those words have just personal connotations that limit my ideas. And so when I say ‘all that is,’ it includes all that is. That’s the term that I’ll be using.
     My experience is that we are always within and expressions of all that is, which is a beautiful force of infinitely curious and creative energy & awareness. How can we be anything but perfect. We are all that is, just as much as it is us. We are created by it; it creates us. We participate in it; it participates in us. We extend it; and it extends us. We are each individual expressions of the single infinite awareness. We are one. And we are each perfect, exactly as we are.”
     My Near Death Experience in Iraq - Natalie Sudman : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8lQs1MccoU&t=225s

     Natalie Sudman. "Amplification of Impossible Things. My Near Death Experience in Iraq." Ozark Mountain Publishing, 2012. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

 

How Awake am I?

      It's generally agreed that we can't accurately estimate how awake, consciously evolved or spiritually mature we NOR others are. Nevertheless, the further along the 'path' of awaking one is, the less one tends to behave in a self-centered, antisocial manner; and the more one tends to behave with unconditional loving-kindness towards everyone & everything.

     It's natural to be drawn more to those who are kind & nurturing, than to those who are difficult & drain our energies. Of course after one has been on this path of awakening for a while, one will have objectively observed one's own self-centered past behaviors, perhaps even being surprised how anyone could have tolerated them. So we should naturally resonate with & feel empathy towards those following in our footsteps on the path. Of course holding rigid, harsh judgment against others suggests that currently there's lack of awareness of the path and of a deeper reality. Fortunately, there seems to be no rush. In fact, impatient striving for awakening is considered to be one of the major obstacles on the path.

     Above & beyond these considerations, Natalie Sudman's near-death experience (NDE) gave her powerful insights into how it's reasonable to love others as ourselves unconditionally, with no judgment. She ALSO sees how it's perfectly OK no matter where one appears to be on the path of awakening or what one's opinion is on the matter. According to Sudman, ALL perspectives are equally acceptable & valuable. Her deep insights will help all of us, no matter where we guess we or our friends are on the path.

     “We are all just walking each other home.” Ram Dass

     "If we think of this physical life as the movie; we wrote the movie, and now we have parts, and we’re playing in the movie. Well somebody may have written their part in that movie to be a character who is totally cut off from their whole self, and to really experience what that is like. There are a lot of things you can learn from that, and some really interesting experiences. Some other people may write the movie saying, ‘I’m going to be a character who forgets who they really are, and then makes their way back to an awareness of who they really are.’ I think there are a lot of people out there who are hunting or searching for that, ‘How do I get that?’ And that’s what I’m talking about when I said that those are instances for healing. Being cut off from who we are as full selves – that too has value. It can have value. There’s nothing wrong with it. You’re not going to be punished for it. There is no judgment on it. It’s an experience. And you can turn it into a valuable experience.

      The biggest (lesson I learned through my NDE) is just knowing that I am more than the physical body, I am not my thoughts, I am not my emotions. I am an infinite being, having experiences through those thoughts, & through those emotions, and through this body.”
      Natalie Sudman from her 64min interview: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g51c18OqDwU

     I HIGHLY RECOMMEND the series of 4 in-depth interviews Natalie Sudman did (with Bob Olson) filled with WONDERFULLY beneficial insights into our true nature: https://www.afterlifetv.com/2014/12/18/recognizing-presence-deceased-loved-ones-gatherings/