All That Is

     Our brain, according to an increasing number of experts, acts as a "reducing valve" to prevent us from being overwhelmed by the infinite amount of information that surrounds us. The efficiency of this reducing function differs for each individual, resulting in very different perspectives.
    An extremely inefficient reducing valve can result in data overload, making navigating the world impossible. However, an extremely efficient reducing valve can give a false sense of certainty that one's extremely narrow worldview is accurate & all encompassing - that nothing outside of it can possibly exist. There are very popular secular ("scientism") and religious versions of such dogmatism. Simplified, easy-to-understand models of reality, to which everyone must conform, provides a temporary hiding place from reality - which is awe-inspiringly complex & ever-changing!
     Between these two extremes, is an infinite range of possibilities: markedly increased perceptual awareness, amazing creativity, & incredible skills in every arena: communication, visual arts, music, math, etc.
     Some instantly shut down & walk away when faced with above-average skills & capacities. Their narrow, rigid, mechanical worldview & identity would be shattered if they were to admit that extra-ordinary things can & do occur. No amount of data, evidence, or reasoning can cure this fearful emotional reaction, any more than it's possible to reason people out of a phobia.
    All of us have a (mostly unexamined) small box with walls or 'boundaries' - whatever's inside, we accept as 'real' & safe; everything outside, 'can't be real' & is terrifying. I've noticed that those who seem to have the most rigid boundaries, around the smallest 'box' are the most susceptible to having their boundaries / box blown wide apart by trauma eg a good friend & devoted family-man, who was rigidly anti-religious, unexpectedly lost his prestigious, high-paying job. He then suddenly abandoned his wife & children, joined a religious cult, changed his name, and moved to another continent.
     Many events can & will rock our world, both mundane (eg accidents) and "out of the ordinary" (eg NDEs) : http://www.johnlovas.com/2021/03/fascinating-overlap.html What's critical is learning to respond to shocks to our system in a way that transforms us into wise elders, instead of shrinking & hardening us into bitter victims!
    Wise maturation involves progressively expanding our horizons, opening up our mind & hearts, and exploring the ever-expanding, wondrous universe - our 'box' endlessly enlarging, its 'walls' / 'boundaries' becoming more & more porous to all that is.
      “People have accessed the higher realms through near death experiences, through mystical encounters, or through meditation. Others have had a sudden insight or ‘aha’ moment. All doors lead to the same place: a transcendent recognition that our true nature is spiritual, not physical. There often is a simultaneous awareness that we are all interconnected and that we are somehow manifestations of one energy.”
     Brian L. Weiss, Amy E. Weiss. ”Miracles Happen. The Transformational Healing Power of Past-Life Memories.” HarperOne, 2012.

     Natalie Sudman's near death experience (NDE) carries a wonderfully liberating, uplifting message for those of us with the 'bandwidth' to hear it:

      "I’ll try to describe some of the qualities & perspectives that were present in all the environments that I experienced (in my NDE). …
      In this non-physical state of being, there’s a profound sense of belonging. Everything about everyone that exists is not only accepted, but admired, respected, recognized & celebrated. There’s a cooperative co-passion for being that permeates everything that I experienced.
      Everything there is effortless. It is just so easy. It’s blissful, and it’s filled with a joy that is so fundamental, it’s only really remarkable from outside of that state of being.
     So imagine that everything you have ever thought, imagined, experienced, dreamed or created, was recognized to be valuable to you yourself and everyone else, to all that exists. Imagine that no matter what you do or how you express yourself, you belong and are valued. This is true. What was known to me, what was so basic as to be assumed was just that. That we are each intrinsically valuable, and everything we experience matters, not just to ourselves but to each other, and to all that is.
     I use the phrase ‘all that is’ instead of God, Source, Universe, whatever – a lot of those words have just personal connotations that limit my ideas. And so when I say ‘all that is,’ it includes all that is. That’s the term that I’ll be using.
     My experience is that we are always within and expressions of all that is, which is a beautiful force of infinitely curious and creative energy & awareness. How can we be anything but perfect. We are all that is, just as much as it is us. We are created by it; it creates us. We participate in it; it participates in us. We extend it; and it extends us. We are each individual expressions of the single infinite awareness. We are one. And we are each perfect, exactly as we are.”
     My Near Death Experience in Iraq - Natalie Sudman : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8lQs1MccoU&t=225s

     Natalie Sudman. "Amplification of Impossible Things. My Near Death Experience in Iraq." Ozark Mountain Publishing, 2012. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

 

What If We DO Belong Here?

      Many painfully honest songs, like Radiohead's "Creep," include the lament "I don't belong here." Some of us are sporadically struck by the very unpleasant sense that we shouldn't be here; can't handle the present situation or the people around us; that we're not good enough; that we seriously lack what it takes to succeed, be happy, or perhaps even survive. Some of us are burdened by such feelings on an almost constant basis.
     AND what if the complete opposite were ALSO true - that all of us ABSOLUTELY DO belong here - no matter how lousy our past or present situation might be? Sebene Selassie, a meditation teacher, has and continues to deal with far more real hardship than most of us, and has learned powerful real world lessons on how to really live:

     “But the challenges I faced – the challenges you face, the challenges we face collectively at this time, any place in the world (even a colonic room), any challenge in life (even cancer) – all are invitations to belonging. And belonging is our true nature.
     Belonging is our capacity to feel joy, freedom, and love in any moment. As the late Zen teacher Charlotte Joko Beck said: Joy is exactly what’s happening, minus our opinion of it. Joy is not about happy or unhappy, liking or disliking. Joy is accepting each moment for what it is without contention. We belong to any moment simply by meeting it with joy. This is freedom. Love is the ultimate expression of joy and freedom. Joy, freedom, and love could be considered synonyms for each other, and for belonging.”
     Sebene Selassie. “You Belong: A Call for Connection.” HarperOne, 2020. 

     Often when circumstances finally force us to drop our frantic scurrying around for what we think we lack, it suddenly dawns on us that we ourselves, are the source of loving intelligence, and that our very nature is wisely nurturing ourselves, others, everything - "intimacy with all." If this seems overly idealistic, remember that those who've had crushing losses - such as the death of an only child - can often only find consolation in supporting others who've suffered similar losses.
     At times, life IS very, very hard. We DO sometimes need help from others. AND YET all of us DO have an amazing capacity to wisely nurture ourselves (sometimes with help from others), and those who are suffering. We DO belong ALWAYS in ALL circumstances. We MUST wake up to our own depth of loving wisdom. To embody this requires that we learn to gradually let go of compulsive self-centredness, and prioritize deep meditation practice.

What is a Poem?

Suddenly I manifest in the world
of ‘10,000 joys & 10,000 sorrows.’ 
Strange parents, friends & acquaintances, 
all with unique perspectives, 
yet one common language – 
small-talk: 
‘Hi, how are you? Nice day isn’t it?’

What is a poem?

What is a life?


      "When all the layers of false identity have been stripped off, there is no longer any version of that old self. What is left behind is pure consciousness." Anam Thubten

      "What can we gain by sailing to the moon if we are not able to cross the abyss that separates us from ourselves?" Thomas Merton

One of an infinite number of never-to-be-repeated moments

Unconditional Love

     “… scientific methodology is the product of human hands and thus cannot reach some permanent truth. We build scientific theories to organize and manipulate the world, to reduce phenomena into manageable units. Science is based on reproducibility & manufactured objectivity. 
     As strong as that makes its ability to generate claims about matter & energy, it also makes scientific knowledge inapplicable to the existential, visceral nature of human life, which is unique and subjective and unpredictable.
    Science may provide the most useful way to organize empirical, reproducible data, but its power to do so is predicated on its inability to grasp the most central aspects of human life: hope, fear, love, hate, beauty, envy, honor, weakness, striving, suffering, virtue.”
       Paul Kalanithi MD. “When Breath Becomes Air.” Random House, 2016.
 
      "The essential dynamic of the shadow patriarch (dark side of male energy), whether operating within a man or woman, is the unrelenting drive to power, dominance, and control. In many ways this attempts to compensate for the loss of connection, love, & belonging, and ultimately for the loss of an ability to feel intimacy with life.” Thanissara

     “It’s great if we become a super cool meditator ... but if the heart isn’t free from suffering – or at least moving in that direction – we may have missed the point. In other words, we need to reflect on the results. What are the effects of meditation practices in my life? Are wholesome qualities of heart increasing – like generosity, kindness, & wisdom? Are unwholesome ones – greed, hatred, & delusion – decreasing?" Kittisaro

     “Love is the bridge
      between you and everything.” Rumi

     “If you judge people (* including yourself *), you have no time to love them.” Mother Teresa
 
     “The love & attention you always thought
      you wanted from someone else,
      is the love and attention
      you first need to give to yourself.” Bryant McGill 

     “It’s not a luxury to feel loved and cared for — it’s what makes us emotionally secure. If it didn’t happen when we were children, meditation can help us develop a secure emotional base now.
     … connecting with our true nature in order to gradually make our minds freer is a real possibility. And that same capacity for attunement translates into more genuine connections.” Tara Bennett-Goleman PhD

     “Your task is not to seek for love,
      but merely to seek & find all of the barriers
      within yourself that you have built against it.” Helen Schueman

“There is a light in this world, 

a healing spirit more powerful 

than any darkness we may encounter.  

We sometimes lose sight of this force 

when there is suffering, too much pain.  

Then suddenly, the spirit will emerge 

through the lives of ordinary people 

who hear a call 

and answer in extraordinary ways.”

Mother Teresa

www.buddhadoodles.com

Membership's Benefits ... and Drawbacks

     Sometimes we enthusiastically join, support and become strongly identified with certain groups. How completely we become identified with & transformed by the group depends on us, as well as the group. Our level of psychosociospiritual development determines the type of group(s) we wish to join. There's a very broad range of groups from which to choose: from sports teams, charities, political parties, professions, unions, the armed forces, religions, nations, ethnic groups, to outlaw gangs, etc.
     Not surprisingly, we're in a very different place in our life if we choose to join & identify with, say the Hell's Angels instead of Save the Whales. Besides different activities, one group may demand strict obedience ("dogmatic"), while another may be laid back & informal ("liberal"). Interestingly, many of us, at a certain point in our lives, are strongly drawn to dogmatic groups that completely take over our thinking, behavior - our whole lives. The very same person who's a peace-loving humanitarian in their 60s, could have, in their teens, enthusiastically enlisted for combat duty to fight "the enemy" of the day.
     When we feel lost, empty, like a nobody, marginalized, hopeless, angry, without any sense of belonging, as soon as we join a dogmatic group, we instantly feel proud, connected, accepted, have both an identity and a home. A dogmatic group has a strong distinctive brand, and we're thrilled to be branded, wear the uniform, fly the flag, repeat the slogans. For many, this means a radically-improved quality of life. There's no looking back at what we might have given up - our immediate assumption is nothing, since they had nothing. Group-think is demanded and easy to go along with - easier than thinking for oneself. One develops very strong, almost unbreakable emotional attachment to such groups. Many dogmatic groups explicitly teach that leaving the group has catastrophic consequences for the individual - shunning, court martial, eternal hell-fire. So reason is rarely successful against such powerful emotions to extricate oneself (or another) from dogmatic groups. Members tend to be paranoid, and may respond violently to any criticism - feeling as if their very life were being threatened.
     But human evolution of consciousness is an entirely natural process, whereas the core basis of dogmatic groups is a set of fixed ideas - dogmas. Most of us simply outgrow dogmas. 
     "Cognitive dissonance is the mental stress or discomfort experienced by an individual who holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values at the same time; performs an action that is contradictory to their beliefs, ideas, or values; or is confronted by new information that conflicts with existing beliefs, ideas or values. (But) humans strive for internal consistency. An individual who experiences inconsistency tends to become psychologically uncomfortable, and is motivated to try to reduce this dissonance, as well as actively avoid situations and information likely to increase it." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance 
     So as we mature psychosociospiritually, cognitive dissonance increases. The question then is how much authenticity can I tolerate suppressing while I'm with my dogmatic group? This is a wrenching, quasi-life-or-death decision - a form of ego death, since the group for many of us is/was our core identity. But living a lie - a "divided life", is for some of us, deadening, soul-destroying.
     When we quietly observe the mind during meditation, we notice a huge amount of self-talk - mostly transient, unnecessary ego noise. Our real identity is beyond all this noise: words, concepts, including all dogmas. When the noise from our own or our group's ego settles down, we touch authenticity, freedom.
     

Brant Hansen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Rh8uywILZk

Know it or Not, You ARE Loved, You DO Belong, You DO Matter

Keep walking toward the light,
it's there awaiting to embrace you, 
it's always there embracing you.

giofkos   www.dpreview.com

What is Love?

         “I would define love very simply: as a potent blend of openness and warmth, which allows us to make real contact, to take delight in and appreciate, and to be at one with – ourselves, others, and life itself. Openness – the heart’s pure, unconditional yes – is love’s essence. And warmth is love’s basic expression, arising as a natural extension of this yes – the desire to reach out and touch, connect with, and nourish what we love. If love’s openness is like the clear, cloudless sky, its warmth is like the sunlight streaming through the sky, emitting a rainbowlike spectrum of colors: passion, joy, contact, communication, kindness, caring, understanding, service, dedication, and devotion, to name just a few.

         According to the saints and mystics, love is the very fabric of what we are; we are fashioned out of its warmth and openness. We don’t have to be great sages to recognize this. All we need to do is take an honest look at what makes our life worthwhile. When the presence of love is alive and moving in us, there is no doubt that our life is on target and meaningful, regardless of our outer circumstances. We feel that we’re in touch, connected with something larger than our small self. This lifts the burden of isolation and alienation off our shoulders, filling us with peace and well-being. But when the presence of love is absent, something often feels sad, not quite right; something seems to be missing, and it’s hard to find much joy, even in the midst of favorable circumstances. We easily fall prey to meaninglessness, anxiety, or despair.

         These simple truths are also upheld by neuroscience research, which confirms that our connections with others affect the healthy development and functioning of the brain, the endocrine and immune systems, and our emotional balance. In short, love is the central force that holds our whole life together and allows it to function. …"

             John Welwood. "Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships. Healing the Wound of the Heart." Trumpeter, 2006.

Photo: Dana Reed   dpreview.com