Informal Practice Works!

     Many times each day, we all feel discomfort, not enough, yearning, hunger or void. This unpleasant feeling motivates most of us to seek physical / material relief - by doing things: eating, exercising, reading, blogging, working smarter, harder & longer, taking a nap, watching TV, playing NYT Games. But NONE of these satisfy!
    And at a level deeper than 'personal mind' ('separate self,' 'ego,' 'small self') - we know that these 'doings' merely distract but do not cure. But our 'personal mind' is only capable of urging us to keep doing more & more of these activities - that don't work. And this, we might recall, defines insanity.

    We usually take our physical / material existence far, far too seriously. Our default mode is 'doing' - to act, move, do something, do anything even if we realize that we're just spinning our wheels, getting nowhere: http://www.johnlovas.com/2020/11/the-mature-human-being.html There's a great reminder:

    "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff … and it's ALL Small Stuff!"

    Sometimes we go to the other extreme & take nothing seriously. Clearly there is a happy medium. But "the middle way" recognizes the limitations of the physical / material plane of existence AND the personal mind which works at this relatively low level. As long as we remain confined to this plane of existence & mindset, we suffer BECAUSE our deeper intelligence knows there's MUCH MORE to life than what we can see, hear & touch, AND that we are MUCH MORE than our body.

    “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience.
     We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

    This may lead us to informal spiritual practices! As soon as we feel the annoying discomfort, not enough, hunger, void, INSTEAD OF MINDLESS DOING, we can CHOOSE Self-inquiry - asking ourself 'Who feels this dys-ease?' 'Who is suffering?' 'What is this?' 

    Self-inquiry practice ultimately leads us to our true Self, which, although is beyond understanding by our 'personal mind' & thus can't be adequately put into words, can nevertheless be directly experienced as Silence, Stillness, Awareness, Equanimity, Love, Joy, Freedom, Presence, Ultimate Reality, Vastness, Emptiness. 

    It's too easy to spend an entire lifetime chasing one's tail. Our precious life can be so much more pleasant & meaningful IF we experience & learn to act from our true Self. 

    A short, concise, powerful introduction to timeless non-dual understanding can be found in the short, ($3) book : Tim Freke. “Lucid Living. Experience Your Life Like a Lucid Dream.” Watkins, 2016.
    For more in-depth look at non-duality, I recommend Helen Hamilton's and Rupert Spira's books, eg Helen Hamilton. “Dissolving the Ego.” Balboa, 2021 and Rupert Spira “Being Myself.” NewHarbinger, 2021; & interviews online.

 WATCH Helen Hamilton: “You are the Sought and not the seeker”

The Basic Basics

     It's eye-opening to periodically travel to another country. Just taking off in a plane, I feel as if I'm leaving all my usual concerns & responsibilities behind, and a whole new world of possibilities seems to open up. We see more clearly who / what WE are - or want to be!

    Individually, most of us, especially in our “WIERD” (Western Industrialized Educated Rich & Democratic) culture, have a gnawing, usually unexamined sense of "lack," "not enough."
    But get a group of insecure individuals together, it's very easy to rouse an energized mob mentality. Populist politicians expertly manipulate mobs to do anything at all. Throughout history, we've done, & continue doing, every type of collective bullying - "rape, pillage & plunder" - at least partially to avoid our personal nagging inferiority complex. We've called group bullying different names in different times: feudalism / monarchy / dictatorship, patriarchy / sexism / misogyny, religious conflicts, colonialism, slavery, multinational corporations, racism, etc. The ultimate result is always destruction of intelligent, nurturing collaboration and along with it, indigenous peoples & cultures.

    Bullies with the most powerful military, defeat & impose their own political, financial & religious ideas on the vanquished. In their enthusiasm to plunder, invaders are ignorant & intolerant of the human beings, ways of life, values & cultures they destroy. The "winners" go on to write creative history & celebrate their victory over "savages, heathens, etc." "Might makes right!"

    All colonial powers profited immensely from plundering former colonies. Other nations also profited from centuries of free slave labor. "The typical wealth of the 600-700 aristocratic families in Britain is estimated at about £16-20 million ... you likely can double it to account for estate planning." 

    Especially those who've profited most from centuries of bullying, would do well to humbly face the often lurid details of how their personal fortunes were made, and tone down the self-satisfied celebratory hubris. Those of us who've earned our own way in life from nothing might find it easier to empathize with the less fortunate, and be more generous & nurturing.

    Embodying our true nature, imho, is our ONLY security - to nurture all, and in the process, heal ourselves & our planet.

Even as a parent protects with their life  

their child, their only child,  

so, with a boundless heart  

should one cherish all living beings!

Radiating kindness over the entire world ...
freed from hatred and ill-will.
This is what should be done  

by those who are skilled in goodness.

The Metta Sutta (The Buddha's Words on Lovingkindness)

‎⁨St Mary Redcliffe Church⁩, ⁨Bristol⁩, ⁨England

Feel the Radiance

     Check in with yourself first thing in the morning - HOW DO I FEEL? Is it:
'Shit, I'm tired. I don't know if I can handle all this #@><* today.'
             OR
'Yes! A brand new day awaits me! I wonder what new adventures I'm going to experience?'
      Your felt sense is probably somewhere along the continuum between:
• closed, up-tight, afraid/anxious/angry/pessimistic, and
• open, relaxed, kind/warm/realistic/gentle.
     NOTICE how the mood you choose to stay with, powerfully impacts the quality of your day, and ultimately, the emotional tone of your life.

     "My research has convinced me that we all have extraordinary creative, humanitarian, and spiritual possibilities but are often alienated from them because we are so focused on a very narrow slice of who we are. As a result, we aren’t fulfilling our full potential. We spend so much time looking outward for validation that we don’t develop the incredible strengths that already lie within ..."
      Scott Barry Kaufman. “Transcend. The New Science of Self-Actualization.” A TarcherPerigee Book, 2020.

“One way or another, we all have to find
what best fosters the flowering of our
humanity in this contemporary life, and
dedicate ourselves to that.” Joseph Campbell

      According to Abraham Maslow, most of us are partially alienated from our full potential, even after our basic needs for physical health, safety, belonging, & esteem have more or less been met.

     One of the author’s clients “was able to identify a core belief that had plagued him his whole life. Despite being raised by loving parents, he did not think or feel that he was lovable enough, and he felt compelled to compensate for this apparent lack. As a result, he could never rest as he was. He was always trying to be a different and better self. This is the self-improvement project that few of us are immune to.
     Almost everyone struggles or has struggled with an underlying sense of lack, of not being enough in some way. This belief can take various forms. Instead of thinking that we aren’t lovable enough, we may feel that we are not worthy enough. Have you ever secretly believed this? If we are honest with ourselves, we almost always feel like we aren’t ____ enough. You can fill in the blank.”
      John J. Prendergast. “The Deep Heart – Our Portal to Presence.” Sounds True, 2019

     It's easiest to see the paradox when others appear blind to how much they have: a billionaire acting as if penniless; a thin person being convinced they're fat; a strikingly attractive person being sure they're ugly. Their perspective, their capacity to see reality, is distorted or even blocked, by past ± ongoing traumatic conditioning.

     Much of our attention is absorbed by the repetitive, self-centered STORIES we keep telling ourselves - "the story of me." We habitually dissociate (www.johnlovas.com/2019/12/complete-experiencing-healing-trauma.html) into "self-talk," and too often neglect to directly engage with what's actually taking place in real time. We're so worried about ourselves (based on past traumas & other aversive conditioning), that we find it difficult relating & responding wisely to reality.

     At the same time, the advertising industry so expertly conditions us to believe that buying & owning more & more of the latest stuff is the only path to happiness, that we distrust & ignore all other options. A lot of us become perfectionists & workaholics, since working harder & better + achieving more & more + buying bigger & better is the only current socially-sanctioned path to happiness. But noticing that we're no happier, we double-down to work even harder & better + achieve even more + buy even bigger & better.

      “In an age of great material excess, we suffer dislocations from the energies of our deepest being and, in return, suffer emptiness, anomie, aimlessness ... (And) our culture’s treatment plans ... are materialism, hedonism, narcissism and nationalism, as well as a coursing nostalgia for a world that never really existed.”
     James Hollis. “Living Between Worlds. Finding Personal Resilience in Changing Times.” Sounds True, 2020

     Surprisingly slowly, we start realizing that no matter how many widgets we crank out per hour, no matter how "perfect" each widget, no matter the recognition at work, no matter how huge our house, no matter how fancy our cars, and no matter how extravagant our vacations, we STILL feel that gnawing "lack"! 

     Some sadly will nevertheless ride this train to the bitter end: cynicism, bitterness, burn-out, heart attack, stroke, death. 

     Some, however, try to understand & investigate - "lean into" this unpleasant persistent lack and realize that all of us have qualitatively higher needs than more money, recognition, & material possessions.

“Find a place inside where there’s joy, and
the joy will burn out the pain.” Joseph Campbell 

      What if we directed attention towards the subtle feel of our own life energy? What if our deepest desire was authenticity to who/what we (all) basically are?

     “There is a light in the core of our being that calls us home – one that can only be seen with closed eyes. We can feel it as a radiance in the center of our chest. This light of loving awareness is always here, regardless of our conditioning. It does not matter how many dark paths we have traveled or how many wounds we have inflicted or sustained as we have unknowingly stumbled toward this inner radiance. It does not matter how long we have sleepwalked, seduced by our desires and fears. This call persists until it is answered, until we surrender to who we really are. When we do, we feel ourselves at home wherever we are. A hidden beauty reveals itself in our ordinary life. As the true nature of our Deep Heart is unveiled, we feel increasingly grateful for no reason – grateful to simply be.”
       John J. Prendergast. “The Deep Heart – Our Portal to Presence.” Sounds True, 2019

Three Wonderful Books

     Short quotes from 3 exceptionally useful books:

     “When nothing is needed from the object* to fill up my lack, it can be just what it is … no longer frustrating because there is no longer anything lacking in me that I need to project as something lacking in my world.” 
        David R. Loy. “Lack & Transcendence. The Problem of Death and Life in Psychotherapy, Existentialism, and Buddhism." Wisdom Publications, 2018.

     Loy's book is a detailed, slightly scholarly examination of our universal gnawing sense of "lack" - not being enough in some irritatingly impossible-to-resolve way: not good enough, not smart enough, not rich enough, not attractive enough, not happy enough, not secure enough, etc, etc. BUT Loy explains what, from a Buddhist perspective, we can effectively do about this.
     *"Object" can refer to people, animals, things, activities etc. we crave for, try to possess, try to hang onto, etc. in a futile (materialistic) attempt to resolve this sense of lack.

     A series of simple exercises presented in the next book, by Weber, show us how:
“a) thoughts are about the past and future,
b) thoughts are unpredictable and beyond your control,
c) most thoughts contain the I,
d) trying to not think is difficult,
e) thoughts are continuous,
f) you can’t predict your thoughts,
g) you have thousands of random thoughts,
h) your thoughts come from and go to emptiness,
i) your 'I' is a changing cast of ad-hoc characters.
     These insights are critical to having the mind see its nature and, amazingly, and fortunately, begin to unravel itself from its craziness.”
       Gary Weber. “Happiness Beyond Thought. A Practical Guide to Awakening.” iUniverse Inc, 2007.

     Weber's book is super-concise, straight-to-the-point. It's especially useful if you've already done a fair bit of reading about awakening, yet remain identified with your thoughts ("self-talk"). There are useful, beneficial types of thinking: such as for problem-solving, planning (vs catastrophizing), etc. The type Weber advises we learn to release is by far the most common form: self-referential internal narrative (SRIN) - obsessive, excessive self-concern - all about "me" "myself" & "I".


      “To recognize an emotion as an emotion is itself a wise response. This awareness of the truth of things, that an emotion is a mental state, offers a little bit of light. This light allows us to view the emotion wisely instead of through the eyes of delusion and ignorance. Awareness offers a pause. When we observe and accept, ‘Ah, anxiety is like this,’ for instance, we can experience an intimacy with the raw actuality of the experience instead of papering it over with thought.
     Because all conditioned things are impermanent, painful emotions are subject to change. We practice sustaining the awareness that an emotion is happening here and now. There is the object – the painful emotion – and there is the knowing of the object. Because the pain is happening here and now, it is workable here and now. The story of self begins to ease and dissolve: how I was in the past, what happened when I previously experienced this, why it is this way now, given it is this way now it will be this way into the future … all of this is just the arising of thoughts that are inherently empty and occurring here and now.” 
        Narayan Helen Liebenson. “The Magnanimous Heart. Compassion and Love, Loss and Grief, Joy and Liberation.” Wisdom Publications, 2018.

     Liebenson's book is warm, gentle AND wise. Emotional reactivity reminds us when our behavior is not quite as psychosociospiritually-evolved as we would like it to be. Maturation is a life-long journey - one step at a time ...

Fogo Island, Newfoundland