Spirituality?

     Many, perhaps most people are detail- or specifics-oriented. Their comfort zone is in dealing with widely-agreed-upon factual details, specific, familiar places & situations, immediate, tangible, material concerns. They're not comfortable engaging with general principles, broad concepts, & 30,000ft overviews. Particularly foreign, disorienting, even threatening are spirituality, mysticism, wisdom, etc.
     This is in sharp contrast to a small group of folks with a rare (<1%, "Advocate") personality type, whose real passion is getting to the very heart of issues, ideally to help prevent serious problems. These folks may have a facility for & interest in focusing less on individual trees, and more on the basic principles of forestry, in order to prevent catastrophic forest fires.

     Each of us is pretty well stuck with one personality type. Nevertheless, it's becoming terrifyingly obvious to most that human behavior is rapidly destroying the earth. Arguably, this is because most modern humans are ignoring spirituality:
     “our modern worldly values (desire for fame, money, etc.) acquire their compulsiveness from a misdirected spiritual drive.” 
        David R. Loy. “Lack & Transcendence. The Problem of Death and Life in Psychotherapy, Existentialism, and Buddhism.” Wisdom Publications, 2018. 

     So an innate aversion to spirituality does not eliminate our spiritual drive, but may actually ramp it up in a distorted manner. That's why so many of us are addictively "looking for [depth of meaning, community & fulfillment] in all the wrong places": electronic devices, alcohol, food, shopping, drugs, gambling, work, porn, etc, etc).

     But what exactly is spirituality?

     "Spirituality is a broad concept with room for many perspectives. In general, it includes a sense of connection to something bigger than ourselves, and it typically involves a search for meaning in life. As such, it is a universal human experience — something that touches us all. People may describe a spiritual experience as sacred or transcendent or simply a deep sense of aliveness and interconnectedness.
     Some may find that their spiritual life is intricately linked to their association with a church, temple, mosque, or synagogue. Others may pray or find comfort in a personal relationship with God or a higher power. Still others seek meaning through their connections to nature or art. Like your sense of purpose, your personal definition of spirituality may change throughout your life, adapting to your own experiences and relationships." https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/what-spirituality

     "Spirituality addresses qualities of the human spirit that include love, compassion, patience, tolerance, forgiveness, a sense of responsibility, which brings happiness to self and others. It as well includes a basic concern for the well-being of others. And it has an emphasis on contemplative practices cultivating ethics, stability, and prosocial mental qualities." Dalai Lama 

     “Politics and spirituality are the two sides of the same coin. Politics is the driving force visible to the outside; spirituality is the internal force driving the consciousness to open up to the world and conjoin it. Politics bared of spiritual awareness always leads to violence and the abuse of power. Spirituality without political engagement resembles an escape from the world.” Gundula Schatz

     "Spirituality is about getting out of the conceptual realm of spiritual fantasy and theology. It’s a deep exploration of the direct experience of being. It’s not an attempt to escape the direct experience of being, which is often what’s happening." Adyashanti

     “Religion is for people who're afraid of going to hell. Spirituality is for those who've already been there.” Vine Deloria Jr.

     In the following, "soul" IMHO is used very much like "spirituality":
     “I don’t use soul in a religious sense but rather the way psychologists Carl Jung and James Hillman and the Romantic poets like Keats, Wordsworth, and Blake use it: to speak of the experience of depth in our lives. Soul invites the marginal, the excluded, and the unwelcome pieces of ourselves into our attention. Soul is often found at the edges, both in the culture and in our lives. Soul takes us down into the places of our shared humanity, such as sorrow and longing, suffering and death. Soul requires that we be authentic, revealing what lies behind the image we try to show the world, including our flaws and peculiarities. Soul doesn’t care at all about perfection or getting it right. It cares about participation. Soul is revealed in dreams and images, in our most intimate conversations, and in our desire to live a life of meaning and purpose.” Francis Weller 
 

Morning breaks on Eagle Lake

Ready to Start Meditating?

     Would YOU benefit NOW from starting a meditation practice eg by taking an 8-week Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) course? 

     "Timing" ("readiness for change") really is everything! In broad terms, if you're happy & feel that life will remain rosy, you probably don't want anything to change. If, however, you're somewhat unhappy & sense that genuine happiness is obtainable, you may be motivated to actively change your life. 
     An important timing issue to consider is recent major trauma: death of a loved one, or the recent end of an important relationship. It's best to give yourself adequate time to heal from such trauma before taking on the challenge of learning to meditate. 
     “Any experience that is stressful enough to leave us feeling helpless, frightened, overwhelmed, or profoundly unsafe is considered a trauma.” Pat Ogden To benefit from meditation, one has to be able to feel safe, relax, & play just past one's comfort zone, in their zone of learning. I use the word 'play' because the quality of effort required for meditation is much like looking after a beloved 3-year old child. It's kind, playful awareness, flexibility & curiosity (instead of struggling to drag a heavy suitcase up flights of stairs). 
     So, is this the right time for you to start meditating? Maybe the following can help you decide:

     1) For some, life is rolling along nicely and feel that if they just keep doing their part, life will continue to be satisfactory. While life is not always perfect, short of winning a lottery, they really can't see how life could be much better than it is now. 
     These folks tend not to be motivated to start, nor complete, an 8-week MBSR program. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!"
 
     2) For some, life is tolerable - "ordinary unhappiness" - but they're certain, even dogmatic, that nothing can be done to substantially improve things.
     These folks are rarely interested in meditation.

     3) Some do not settle for "ordinary unhappiness" and are certain, even dogmatic, that they are markedly improving their lives by engaging in a specific path, practice, discipline, philosophy etc.
     These folks might be open to meditation IF they realize that their current seemingly successful path is not interfered with AND IF they believe that meditation can supplement or boost the depth & effectiveness of their current path, practice, discipline, philosophy etc.

     4) Some do not settle for "ordinary unhappiness" and seek a path towards genuine peace & profound happiness. They're ready to gradually let go of fearful (egocentric) self-concern, and shift to (allocentric, ecocentric) openness & loving curiosity about all aspects of life, including death. Such a shift clearly requires maturity in the form of self-compassion, self-acceptance, & acceptance of all manner of life's difficulties, complexities & apparent paradoxes.
     Folks like this are uncommon, BUT tend to be deeply interested in meditation practices.

     When the time is right, most people benefit from meditation.

     I've received VERY diverse, wise email responses to this post, which I will share by early July - stay tuned! 
     If you haven't already, please consider adding your unique perspective.

Kentville Ravine Trail

          

Comfort and Beyond

     We relate to life from roughly three different subjective states: comfort, liminality, and distress.
     When we're in our "comfort zone," we feel at home, at ease, safe, contented. The main advantage of the comfort zone is having the freedom & capacity to be authentic, nurturing ourselves & each other - the "tend & befriend instinct" - associated with an inherently deeply pleasant feeling due, in part, to release of hormones like oxytocin. One drawback to the comfort zone is lack of novelty. Without new stumuli, we tend to eventually become bored, get cabin fever - the urge to get out of our well-known comfortable situation and explore the unknown.
     Liminality is our "growth zone" just beyond our comfort zone. When we're in this relatively narrow zone, we're sufficiently challenged and are optimally able to learn. Liminality is a fascinating, important, complex state - see: http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=Liminality
     When we feel distress, we're so far removed from our comfort & growth zones, that we fear for our health, our very life. This is our "danger zone" - our "fight, flight or freeze instinct" is activated, we're flooded by stress hormones & survival instincts take over automatically. Now it is almost impossible to: think clearly, learn, make good choices (eg voting), or access any of the other deeper resources available to us in our comfort or growth zones.

     These states are subjective because different people can experience the same situation very differently eg skiing down an intermediate hill is pleasantly challenging for an intermediate skier; boring for an expert skier; and a dangerous, frightening experience for a non-skier. 
     We feel at least somewhat uncomfortable so frequently throughout the day, that it’s very easy to be mildly, chronically distressed without really noticing. But when major trauma is added (eg a previous serious skiing accident), the comfort & growth zones can markedly narrow, while the danger zone expands extremely broadly, so much so that life can feel as if one is constantly on a tightrope, always bracing for when (not if) disaster strikes.

     The more we are able & willing to evolve, the more we feel at home, be able to learn & thrive in all situations (ie become increasingly resilient) and, IMHO most importantly, the more we are able to embody our deepest authenticity, expressed as unconditional love for all.
  
     "There is an important link between deep change at the personal level and deep change at the organizational level. To make deep personal change is to develop a new paradigm, a new self, one that is more effectively aligned with today's realities. This can occur only if we are willing to journey into unknown territory and confront the wicked problems we encounter. This journey does not follow the assumptions of rational planning. The objective may not be clear and the path is not paved with familiar procedures. This tortuous journey requires that we leave our comfort zone and step outside our normal roles. In doing so, we learn the paradoxical lesson that we can change the world only by changing ourselves. This is not just a cute abstraction; it is an elusive key to effective performance in all aspects of life." Robert E. Quinn

      "There is a kindness that dwells deep down in things; it presides everywhere, often in the places we least expect. The world can be harsh and negative, but if we remain generous and patient, kindness inevitably reveals itself. Something deep in the human soul seems to depend on the presence of kindness; something instinctive in us expects it, and once we sense it we are able to trust and open ourselves." John O'Donohue

Porousness, Heart Opening, Stepping into Emptiness ...

     "To the degree that you relax more into uncertainty and groundlessness, you find your heart opening. Your heart opens to the degree that you can allow difficult situations and step into them. ...
     Meditation is a process of transformation ... as we get older it's very common to become increasingly fixed in our habits. But ... some become more and more flexible and open as they age. Which kind of person do you want to be?
     Often the powerful moment of the spiritual journey is the moment when pain is getting very strong, and we feel we've met our edge and there's no way to pretty it up. ... So at that moment, we can do something different. And by doing something different we can liberate ourselves."

       Pema Chodron, Buddhadharma: The Practitioner's Quarterly, Summer 2013

Richard Lalonde   http://photography.nationalgeographic.com/photography/