Remembering, Forgetting and Remembering

    We've all noticed how some of us have certain hard boundaries we firmly believe that we cannot step beyond. Some of these seem reasonable, perhaps even life-saving eg a recovering alcoholic refusing to have any alcohol ever again. 
    However, most remarkably firm boundaries are just quirky oddities that needlessly slow or even prevent normal spiritual maturation. These are tied to our rock-solid "story of me" - "my identity" - "it's who I am!!" "I've always hated ... I've always loved ... I could never ... I was always good at ... I've always belonged to ..." We have the free will choice to resist any inner change.

    We also have the free will choice to evolve spiritually - we can choose to awaken! 
    The people I admire and try to emulate become progressively more unconditionally loving, non-judgmental, forgiving, flexible, open-hearted and open-minded. See: http://www.johnlovas.com/2011/12/successful-aging.html and http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=stages+of+faith 

    “Many people have intimations of their true nature in childhood – the sense of a benevolent presence guiding their life, a radiance that shines forth from all things, or a current of love that unites us all. …
    But we lose touch with this luminosity as we age … we forget who we really are and succumb to the way others see us...
    By adulthood we've more or less forgotten who we truly are, and have passively absorbed the current cultural fad of being frozen in the armor of materialism, meaninglessness & cynicism. Not surprisingly, something in all of us 'continues to weep over the barrenness of modern life.'"
    Stephan Bodian. “Wake Up Now. A Guide to the Journey of Spiritual Awakening.” 2008.

    “We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.” Anais Nin 

    In other words, our personal worldview & self-concept - be that more materialistic & cynical - OR - tending more towards kindness & unconditional love - is our "state" which determines our experience of life. 

        “There are only two ways to live your life.
         One is as though nothing is a miracle.
         The other is as though
         everything is a miracle.” Albert Einstein

     Jonathan Ashford - from my current perspective - clearly & concisely expresses the most useful spiritual teachings. Below, an excerpt from a recent interview: "A Near-Death Awakening: 'I Came Back Without a Self'" Jonathan Ashford https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLmOpCCJkuY

    “I could tell you what I was shown and what I understand. I guess you would say what I understand to be true, or truth as it was defined for me, is that we are an expression of unconditional love, here to remember that very thing. So you could say time, through the process of the spiritual awakening, simply exists for you to experience the memory, or the event, or the set of circumstances, that remind you that you are an expression of unconditional love.

            So it (“the Divine,” “Source,” “God,” etc) has a very interesting sense of humor. The sense of humor is you are unconditional love manifest into this form, and now you’re going to forget, and go through everything which is just trying to wake you up to that fact, but you’re going to see it with different eyes. So it’s kind of like the joke is: it’s always been right in front of you. It’s always been right in front of your face, but you’ve always been looking a hundred yards out. You’re always looking to tomorrow, or you’re thinking I need 12 years of schooling to get me there. I need something, when it’s actually been in the mirror the whole time.

            Every circumstance serves you in your awakening to that very fact. And we live several lifetimes, because we miss it. We might live a thousand lifetimes because we just keep missing it. It’s just floating right by us, instead of catching that glimpse in the mirror. Understanding that unconditional love is what we are, and the second we wake up to it, it’s like feeling for the first time every time.

            As it was shown to me, there is nothing to do here. There is nothing to ever change here. There is nothing to ever fix. There is only to live consciously in a way to understand, I am unconditional love being expressed in this moment.

How does that play out? If I remember it, my life plays out to reflect that. If I don’t remember it, then my life plays out to reflect that.

So really, it was the two paths, if you want to call them paths, playing out simultaneously, based on your state.

As it was shown to me, everyone’s like, ‘What’s my life path? What’s my purpose?’ I’m like, ‘Well, just think of it this way. You have choice A or B, all day, every day. And based on choice A or B, you will affect the state in which you affect your existence.

Beyond that, everything else was just shown to either point you to it – or – pull you away from it. So all spiritual belief systems, every book, every definition, every word that we use, every language, everything either points us to it – or – away from it.

But you will only know that if you’re walking in a state of awareness, which is part of the spiritual awakening process. You grow your awareness. I’m now more aware than I was yesterday. And because of my awareness, I choose this particular state. And I might do it a couple of times today, and maybe a couple of more times tomorrow.

Or, I might slip out of it. I might forget it completely. And then those circumstances will reflect that, and try to point me back to remembering it again. So it’s really an exercise in awareness.

Unconditional love is, yes, we are unconditional love. We walk in it, we hold it, we forget it. But the exercise is the awareness, because without the awareness, you won’t remember that you are unconditional love.”

    Jonathan Ashford https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLmOpCCJkuY 

 

 

Reminders to Keep Evolving

    A couple of reminders:

    I write these blogs partially as reminders for myself - I aspire towards these things I write about. Like you, I'm in the process of "awakening". The quotes I select seem to me to be wise "fingers pointing toward the moon" - they point towards the Mystery from which, in my (& many others') humble opinion, we arise and to which we return.

    And it's normal for us to initially resist evolution / transformative growth:

    “All truth goes through three stages. First it is ridiculed. Then it is violently opposed. Finally it is accepted as self-evident.” Arthur Schopenhauer, 19th-century German philosopher
 

    Anyone with the slightest connection to the power of love (Mystery, Divine, Tao, Source, God, etc) understands that all motivation is based on at least loving & nurturing oneself, one's family & tribe towards long-term happiness. Gradually, this primitive instinctual self-serving love, naturally evolves (from egocentric to allocentric & ecocentric) to include progressively wider circles of compassion eventually including all of life, all of matter.

 

    “Not knowing we are loved & lovable makes the heart grow cold. And all the tragedy of human life follows from there." John Welwood. "Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships. Healing the Wound of the Heart." Trumpeter, 2006. 

    It's very difficult to understand behavior where love seems to be completely missing. Examples: 

    • those who continue starting wildfires in our forests & cities while many others lose everything, despite the valiant tireless efforts of firefighters who risk their health & lives,

    •  bullying in schools & workplace

    • "presidents-for-life," populist politicians & other large scale bullies who incite their followers to work against humanity's common good & start wars for personal gain.

    Anger & disgust at such behavior is entirely reasonable & even potentially helpful, BUT it can easily degenerate into dehumanizing individual perpetrators. Though it's not easy to remember, they are human beings, and we need to remember to become curious about the many hidden causes & conditions behind their harmful behavior instead of harshly writing them off as "inhuman." Imagine if one of these "horrible perps" was your only child - wouldn't you want them to get the best, most compassionate mental-health care (rather than the harshest punishment)?

 

    IF we survive our current reckless disregard for the common good, those reading history books 50 years from now will find it very hard to believe the ridiculous things we said, did & most of all failed to do over the past decade or so. 

    My hope is that there will be enough wise, energetic young leaders - like New Zealand's recent Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern - to inspire & energize our comatose "silent majority" into life-affirming action. 

    “Such, it seems to me, are the mysterious interior conduits of grace in which transmissions of holiness & destiny flow from one awakening heart to another.” James Finley. “The Healing Path. A Memoir and an Invitation.” Orbis, 2023.

    “The easy path of aging is to become a thick-skinned, unbudging curmudgeon, a battle-axe. To grow soft and sweet is the harder way.” James Hillman

 

“You know you're close to the truth
when you have tears in your eyes.”
Gopi Krishna

     As the quotes above suggest, after experiencing hardships, it's natural & easy to shut down, get armored up, yet remain hypersensitive & become easily triggered by reminders of trauma we've suffered.

    But I'm inspired by those who've endured, learned from, healed and have grown wiser as a result of very challenging lives. Three EXCELLENT examples of such exemplars:   

     • Amoda Maa. "Falling Open in a World Falling Apart. The Essential Teaching of Amoda Maa.” Larson, 2020.

     • Isira. "Buddha on the Dance Floor." ‎ Living Awareness, 2014.

     • James Finley. “The Healing Path. A Memoir and an Invitation.” Orbis, 2023. 

    And a classic book on the general topic of "post-traumatic growth" - though this term had not yet been used at the time: 

    • Elizabeth Lesser. “Broken Open. How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow.” Villard, 2005.

 

    “The body is only an effect, of which Love is the cause. As I realised this I could release myself from the need to validate my being through any body or personality identity. Who or what I had been or am in body is truly an insignificant mirage next to the knowing of myself as Love. Knowing this, and what that love was to do, was the only thing that mattered.
    And that pointed me to one place alone. The past, memories of identity, or the searching of future attainments, are all the ego’s clinging to that which is not real. The place of love was and remains the being I AM, eternally NOW.” Isira “Buddha on the Dance Floor.” Living Awareness, 2015.

 

    ... my discovery was that life is the guru. Life is constantly calling you, like the beloved, into its arms, inviting you, not just to have a blissful experience, but through the darkness, through the difficulties, through the challenges, through the darkest places (it doesn’t have to be terrible on the external), but through the places that we hide from ourselves within ourselves, to surrender to that because everything is love – in the darkest places is light. And somehow that was the wisdom I gained from my own direct experience. ... And that’s what changed everything – it was unexpected.” Amoda Maa Talks About Her Life Before Awakening : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4sn-jz-QA0

 

     “We are human beings, endowed with an incredible dignity; but there’s nothing more undignified than forgetting our greatness & clutching at straws.” Peter Kingsley

 

 Partisanship

One Love

    "Going inward & making a connection to the deepest parts of you — physical, emotional, energetic, or spiritual — is the best, the deepest way to live and the deepest way to create impact." John Wineland
    HOWEVER, the deepest, truest, or most authentic aspect of who we are - according to saints & mystics - is beyond (transcends) the capacity of our usual level of thinking to conceive & of language to express! So the foremost experts at this, again saints & mystics, can at best provide pointers for us to directly experience ultimate reality:

    “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” Mother Teresa

    “The problem with the world is
that we draw our family circle too small.” Mother Teresa

    “There is more hunger for love & appreciation in this world than for bread.” Mother Teresa

    “The important thing is not to think much, but to love much, and so to do what best awakens us to love.” Saint Teresa of Ávila  


    “When it is indubitably recognized that your nature and the nature of the Absolute are fundamentally the same, indivisible nature, this is the ‘recognition of one’s true identity’: the realization that any and all identity is eclipsed by an actuality which renders separative distinctions ultimately meaningless.
    Such a realization, or non-dual perspective or awareness, cannot help but have a profound effect on one’s consideration of ‘personal individuality’. One cannot recognize that truth, of all pervasive indivisibility, and continue to maintain the fiction of separate personification – of the ‘me’ that was born and the ‘I’ which dies.
    This fruit of realization – that the absolute essence of all being does not ‘come’ from some place nor ‘go’ anywhere – quenches our deepest, final fear, the fear of extinction. Then the liberated may, indeed, ‘take no thought for the morrow.’ ”
    Robert Wolfe. “Living Nonduality. Enlightenment Teachings of Self-Realization.” Karina Library, 2014. EXCELLENT BOOK

 

    "Even when we've awakened from ego-identification, we still need to unlearn & relearn about love. What we call love, or what we think is love, is often mixed with a lot of early personal conditioning, old belief systems, & emotional attachments. When the heart doesn't go out to look for love, but looks instead back to its source - the ground of Being - we can discover unconditional love as who we have always been. Then this new experience of love can become the foundation from which relationships are formed. A whole different emotional way of being & seeing gives rise to a new, vastly more compassionate & connected way of relating.
    Open-hearted awareness, which is operating from our heart-mind, begins to include necessary judging functions of the mind, but leaves behind the fear, separation, & controlling anger that made us ‘judgmental.’ Our normal judging functions are transformed by open-hearted awareness into discernment & discriminating wisdom.
    The judge, the critic, and the superego are not essential or rigidly fixed parts of the human psyche. As soon as we shift into open-hearted awareness, an immediate feeling of being nonjudgmental & more compassionate arises. We develop a more mature conscience, a sense of integrity, & an acceptance of what is, while having the capacity & motivation to change what needs to be changed.”
    Loch Kelly. “Shift into Freedom. The Science and Practice of Open-hearted Awareness.” Sounds True, 2015.

Robert Wolfe “Quenching the Thirst: Fundamentals of Nonduality”
CONCISE 47-minute interview:

 

Respect for All

     "People who cultivate achievement and virtue do not slight anyone in their hearts, always acting with respect for all."                                             Hui-Neng
 
       Cleary T. transl. "The Sutra of Hui-Neng, Grand Master of Zen, with Hui-Neng's Commentary on the Diamond Sutra." Shambhala, Boston, 1998.

To Be "Held in Meditative Equipoise"

     "Elroy Berdahl remained quiet. ... His eyes were flat and impassive. He didn't speak. He was simply there, like the river and the late-summer sun. And yet by his presence, his mute watchfulness, he made it real. He was the true audience. He was the witness, like God, or like the gods, who look on in absolute silence as we live our lives, as we make our choices or fail to make them."

     O'Brien T. "The things they carried." Mariner Books, Boston, 1990. 

     ... Zen "teachers who are capable of sitting skillfully (and humbly) in the role of teacher, teachers who can navigate their own impulses as well as the projections of their students. One of my favorite stories is of a female student who went to Shunryu Suzuki-roshi and admitted an attraction to him — he replied with something like, “It’s OK. I have enough willpower for both of us.” When that’s real — when nothing you throw at the teacher undermines the teacher’s center of gravity — then teacher and student can really explore that dynamic to its depths."       Koun Franz

        http://sweepingzen.com/koun-franz-interview/

kg_enterprises_1   www.dpreview.com

"Doing your Best"? Yes, but "Try Harder" - sort of ...

in memory of - John T. Smith - a fine martial artist

     If one were able to know and understand the effects of ALL of the inputs: genetics & environment (nature, nurture ± past lives) that make up an individual's "causes and conditions", their behavior under any new set of circumstances would be more predictable. Even identical twins behave differently, because their inputs, though similar (if raised in the same home) are not identical. Basically, expecting a person to behave differently than they do is unreasonable.
     Recently, I asked a colleague for a minor favor. It was a perfectly reasonable request that most people would expect to happen, but I had no expectations at all (due to my colleague's health). When he agreed to help, I was truly elated and happy. It was a wonderfully pleasant surprise.
     Most of us have inadequate insight even into our own causes & conditions, so we should try to have an open mind, & a patient, non-judgmental attitude even towards our own behavior. I suspect that each one of us has a heavy load of stuff to process in this lifetime. Each of us has different abilities to carry out this life's task. And each of us tries our best to be gentle, intelligent, patient, as together we slowly, tirelessly, persistently all move towards wisdom.

     An inspiring recent movie that you might find nurishing: