Suffering, Peace and Meaning

    It's difficult to appreciate the corrosive effect that our society's dreary materialism has on even those of us who consider ourselves religious or spiritual. What is your default mood? When there's nothing specifically pleasant or unpleasant going on in your personal life, how do you feel - bright, gray, or dark? Even if our own life seems to feel OK for the moment, most of us are seriously disturbed by the war in Ukraine and the environmental crisis. But do you feel hopelessly doomed?
    Imagine, after many years of wanting one, you're finally driving down the highway in your gorgeous expensive sports car, but instead of luxuriating in the smooth, controlled ride & powerful purring of the engine, you're frustrated by the constant weird vibration & annoying repetitive whirring sound from an obvious wheel-alignment problem. You go to get that fixed, and the mechanic finds one problem after another; then the car gets scratched & banged up; the paint job fades; the car is never 'in tune'; it starts rusting; new models make it look strangely out of date; your dream is a chronic disappointment. And this is a 'first world problem' - boo hoo! How about constant change, aging, sickness & death - not just of ourselves, but all our loved ones & our material possessions?
    Over 3,000 years ago, the Buddha left his family & privileged life behind because he felt that he had to discover how to be happy in a world of 'dukkha.' Commonly thought of as suffering, dukkha more accurately refers to a wheel on a cart that's off center - today we might say, 'dis-ease' over the fact that nothing stays even satisfactory, never mind perfect!
    HOW CAN we live the best life possible, in a world that is NOT aligned at all with our individual material hopes & desires?

    “Non-duality ('perennial philosophy') is the understanding that underlies all the great religious & spiritual traditions. If we were to distill the essence of that understanding and express it in contemporary terms, it would sound something like this: Peace & happiness are the nature of our being, and we share our being with everyone & everything. The first part of this phrase, ‘peace and happiness are the nature of our being,’ refers to our inner experience – our thoughts and feelings. The second part, ‘we share our being with everyone and everything,’ refers to our exterior experience, that is our relationship with people, animals and things." Rupert Spira "Nonduality, Consciousness, and Ending Suffering" : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtlDY3-rE_Y

    A transcript of, imho, two wise, intelligent people - Rupert Spira (RS) and Bernardo Kastrup (BK) - in conversation:

   RS: “What is it that causes most people to question the materialist paradigm? Suffering. If we didn’t suffer, there would be no reason to question our view of the world, on the contrary, we would think the happiness I experience is a confirmation that my view of the world is correct. We would never question anything and that’s why so many people are first open to the possibility that we are discussing here.
    Through the experience of suffering their life falls apart. They realize something’s not working. And it’s not just today that it’s not working, it gets worse the older you get. As Henry David Thoreau said, ‘Most people lead lives of quiet desperation.’ You get half-way through your life, and you realize it’s not working - relationships, activities. You’ve experienced enough suffering to no longer be able to keep it at bay through objects, substances, activities, relationships. You’ve been failed by life sufficiently often to probe a little bit deeper – could there be something about my attitude that is responsible? Might I have got something wrong? And for most of us, it’s suffering that opens this door.
    For me it was, although I had this very early intuition, at age seven, that everything is a dream in God’s mind. Then I forgot that intuition as I grew up. It was suffering that re-ignited my interest in these matters. In fact in my case it was a very particular experience, when my first girlfriend, with whom I thought I would get married, have four children and live happily ever after, ended our three-year relationship in a two-minute phone call. And for the first time in my life I became aware of the extent to which I had invested the thing that I loved the most – namely happiness – in objective experience. This cracked my world. My world had already been cracked by my parents’ divorce, but this was a crack that I could no longer plaster over. Am I going to spend the rest of my life investing the thing that I love most in life – which is peace or joy – in something which is inherently unstable? This brought urgency. I was already interested in these matters, but it became a passion. There must be something wrong with my model of reality.
    What can I know for certain is true? And if I were to start there and hold onto that, and only lead a life that was consistent with that, what kind of life would that be?”

    How the perennial philosophy / non-dualism has influenced their lives:

    RS: “Suffering arises less & less frequently, and it lasts for less & less time. And fewer & fewer experiences have the power to provoke it. Now I would never say that it never happens. I can be triggered in a situation and it can create an emotional resistance in me – that’s what suffering is, emotional resistance. But I notice that fewer experiences have that capacity. They have to be quite intense. So it happens less & less frequently, and when it does happen, when the experience of suffering is triggered, then this understanding kicks in quite quickly, and I’m able to trace my way back to my essential being and its innate peace that lies behind, so to speak, the content of my experience.

    BK: “Rupert radiates peace. … I’m not there. I still have my anxieties. What did happen for me, and I’m extraordinarily grateful for that, because I think that’s what makes all the difference, the banality, the meaninglessness that most people experience as their lives, that is completely gone for me.
    I’m not in profound peace, I have my demons, my anxieties, I suffer – suffer with things that there’s nothing I can do about, some of them physical in my own body, but I never have that notion that all this suffering is for nothing, that life is meaningless, that everything comes to a total end and it’s all for nothing. That I don’t have.
    My life is infused with meaning. In particular, the suffering is infused with meaning. Suffering is a great drive. It’s what keeps us moving in the direction of depth. Otherwise life would remain so shallow. We wouldn’t be asking the deep questions."

    RS: “I think the fruit of this (non-dual) understanding is peace on the inside – absence of suffering on the inside – and love on the outside. And when I say love, I don’t just mean a warm cozy feeling, when I use the word love I mean the recognition that we share our being, our reality, with everyone & everything, in other words, it is the felt sense of the understanding that we are speaking of here. So these two experiences are, I would suggest, the fruit of this understanding – peace on the inside, and love, beauty or oneness on the outside.
    And I have always felt, with you Bernardo, that you share this understanding profoundly, but that the fruit of it, at least on the inside, has been delayed in your case. Why? Because, as you’ve just said, suffering propels us to go deeper & deeper & deeper. It’s the fuel for this investigation, and I think you have a unique role in the world to share this understanding in a way that nobody else can, and rather than a way, in a field that nobody else can – for instance, in a way that I’m not qualified to speak – in the world of science. And for this reason, I feel that the fruit of this understanding, although I see it in you more & more over the years, but I feel the fruit of this understanding is being withheld from you precisely to keep you motivated to do what you are supposed to be doing in the world. And I think, as time goes on, I see it happening in you already, as time goes on, this peace will gradually emerge in your experience. And it’s absence, I do not in any consider to be a failure of your understanding. I think it’s necessary for you to do what you are doing so beautifully in the world."

    BK: “Of course what Rupert is saying instills hope in me. But … I am at peace with my lack of peace. I don’t double my suffering by not being at peace with the suffering. Because if you’re suffering, and then you tell yourself that I should not be suffering, then you just multiply it by two, you just make it worse. Now I don’t make it worse. I don’t have that voice telling me, ‘I should not suffer.’ I am in peace with my suffering, it’s part of nature. I’m aware that life is sacrificial. … I am OK with it. I do suffer, but I don’t make it worse than it needs to be."

    RS: “This is what is meant by 'ananda' in the Vendantic tradition. It’s the peace that lies behind the content of our experience, no matter what. It’s the peace that surpasses understanding. Peace that has nothing to do with what is taking place, so that your suffering is in the foreground, it’s the content of your experience. For most people, the experience of suffering takes up the full picture. But there is this peace behind your suffering, that enables you to say, ‘I am at peace with my suffering.’ And I suspect, that the peace behind your suffering will grow, and will progressively outshine the suffering in the foreground. That’s my intuition. And as you say, even if it doesn’t, in a way it doesn’t matter, because the meaning of our lives is so much bigger than our own personal experience." 

    BK: “Life is not about me. Life is not about any one of us.”

    RS: “It’s sacrificial as you say, yes.” 

    BK: “It is imaginable that if suffering in your life has come to a point where it has become so completely unbearable that nihilism would seem like paradise – a way out of that. There is no point in this whole thing. There is no point to the suffering. It’s all for nothing anyway, so why worry?
    Milan Kundera called it ‘the unbearable lightness of being.’ There is a character in his book, Dr. Tomas, who is sort of the embodiment of this lightness of being – of this nihilism, which gives a certain lightness to what’s going on and that can be alluring to some people, if they are desperate enough.
    Now my own relationship with the core of my being, the world, other people, and life in general is not nihilistic at all. Much to the contrary, for me, materialism is highly nihilistic: there is only matter; whatever insights you have come to a complete end when you die; so, whatever you learn, whatever maturity you accumulate, it’s all for nothing anyway. That’s nihilistic!
    Today I live the reality that there’s tremendous meaning to whatever suffering I have because they are the conduits to insights, and these insights are eternal in the sense of being outside time. Life is what provides the universe with a perspective, a point of view on itself, that it would otherwise not have, and therefore life is pregnant with purpose & meaning. The world of appearances is now a book to be read. It’s the superficial image of a deeper truth. There is a dimension of depth, meaning & significance to the entire world that wasn’t there before. Everything you are surrounded with now is a dance of symbols, symbols that point at something beyond themselves. They point to something fundamental to mind, the mind of the universe, to consciousness. And there is a point to this particular seemingly individual state that we are in right now, in trying to make sense of this. This is the antithesis of nihilism. This is the universe pregnant with meaning. This is life pregnant with purpose. It is baffling that someone would equate this with nihilism."
    "Is Everything Made of Matter or Consciousness?" - Rupert Spira & Bernardo Kastrup in Conversation : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQuMzocvmTQ   *** EXCEPTIONAL INTERVIEW ***

Constant change - Bath, UK

Awakening Awaits

     Imho, we all have one of 3 dominant worldviews:
          1) The world's a mess & getting worse, we're all going to die anyway, end of story - nihilism.
          2) Things aren't too bad for me, I'll get by, my goal is to be happy with as little stress as possible - self-centeredness.
          3) Things are perfect AND could use some improvement - awakening.

     Many people are nihilistic - they've given up all hope because they realize that self-centeredness cannot make them happy. The vast majority of people are self-centered because they still haven't realized that self-centeredness is a dead end. Self-centeredness just morphs into nihilism.
     Increasing numbers of people are awakening to the realization that we are far, far greater than what our usual state of mind ("egoic rational mind") is capable of understanding. In fact, this liberating realization is qualitatively beyond, & is therefore strongly opposed by our ego. It can take a lot of meditation practice, & sometimes challenging circumstances that defeat the ego, before the ego becomes quiet enough to allow us to see "outside the box."

      "Something very beautiful happens to people when their world has fallen apart: a humility, a nobility, a higher intelligence emerges at just the point when our knees hit the floor.
      Perhaps, in a way, that's where humanity is now: about to discover we're not as smart as we thought we were, will be forced by life to surrender our attacks & defenses which avail us of nothing, and finally break through into the collective beauty of who we really are." Marianne Williamson

     "The perennial philosophy, which lies at the heart of the great religions and is increasingly said to represent their deepest thinking, suggests that consciousness is central and its development is the primary goal of existence. This development will culminate in the condition variously known in different traditions as enlightenment, liberation, salvation, moksha, or satori.
     The descriptions of this condition show remarkable similarities across cultures and centuries. Its essence is the recognition that the distortions of our usual state of mind are such that we have been suffering from a case of mistaken identity. Our true nature is something much greater, an aspect of a universal consciousness, Self, Being, Mind, or God. The awakening to this true nature, claimed a Zen master, is ‘the direct awareness that you are more than this puny body or limited mind. Stated negatively, it is the realization that the universe is not external to you. Positively, it is experiencing the universe as yourself.’ … Typical is the claim by an Englishman that to realize our true identity is to ‘find that the I, one’s real, most intimate self, pervades the universe and all other beings. That the mountains, and the sea, and the stars are a part of one’s body, and that one’s soul is in touch with the souls of all creatures.’ Nor are such descriptions the exclusive province of mystics. They have been echoed by philosophers, psychologists, & physicists. ‘Out of my experience … one final conclusion dogmatically emerges,’ said the great American philosopher William James (1960). ‘There is a continuum of cosmic consciousness against which our individuality builds but accidental forces, and into which our several minds plunge as into a mother sea.’
     From this perspective, evolution is a vast journey of growing self-awareness & a return to our true identity. Our current crises are seen as expressions that arise from our mistaken identity. But they can also be seen as self-created challenges that may speed us on our evolutionary journey toward ultimate self-recognition.”
     Roger Walsh. "Human Survival: A Psychoevolutionary Analysis." ReVision 1985; 8: 7-10.

   Only when we recognize our true Self can we start to find peace, real happiness, & effectively help ourselves & our world. There are excellent contemporary guides - one of the finest imho is Helen Hamilton.

Helen Hamilton's EXCELLENT talk on recognizing our true Self :

OVERVIEW

     The purpose of my blogs has been, and continues to be, sharing with you the experiences of people whom I consider to be sincere, wise seekers of Truth. You will find quoted, a very wide range of exemplars & thought leaders, living & dead, from Shamanic, Aboriginal, Advaita, Buddhist, Greek & Roman philosophical, Jewish & Christian Mystical, Sufi, and other traditions, but primarily inspiring current non-dual teachers like Amoda Maa, Louise Kay, Helen Hamilton, Dorothy Hunt, Eckhart Tolle, Adyashanti, Henry Shukman, and many more.

      Most human beings have the capacity to mature emotionally / psychologically / spiritually well beyond "the average" : http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=stages+of+faith .
    Some factors accelerate, while others moderate, slow, (temporarily) stop, or even reverse our maturation process : http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=maturation . 

    The greatest roadblocks to healthy maturation / aging are rigid certainty about one's self-concept & worldview http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=certainty and nihilism http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=nihilism . When people cling with a death-grip to their (usually inherited & unexamined) self-concept & worldview, any alternative perspective tends to feel life-threatening, and it is, but only to the ego.

    “The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” Joe Klaas

    For thousands of years, the few who've taken the search for Truth as their life's central purpose, all seem to reach a common set of conclusions, summarized in the 'perennial philosophy' http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=perennial .

    You'll find many quotations from books, interviews & presentations of mostly people whom I (among many others) consider spiritually-mature & on the life-long path of 'awakening' : http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=awakening . All these quotes are "pointers towards the Moon" - metaphors, humor, poems, stories, practices, to help you experience directly the peace, silence, stillness & joy that is well-beyond words & concepts ("surpasses all understanding") - your true Self : http://www.johnlovas.com/search?q=true+self .

    You'll also find quotations about topics closely related to awakening, such as psychology / psychotherapy eg Trauma theory, Richard Schwartz's Internal Family Systems (IFS), Iain McGilchrist's Hemispheric theory, etc. This blog has almost 1,400 posts which are quickly & easily searchable - see top left of page.

    “Maturity is the ability to live fully & equally in multiple contexts.” David Whyte, poet & philosopher

    “True adulthood … is a difficult beauty, an intensely hard-won glory, which commercial forces & cultural vapidity should not be permitted to deprive you of.” Toni Morrison

        “There are only two ways to live your life.
         One is as though nothing is a miracle.
         The other is as though
         everything is a miracle.” Albert Einstein

    “The important thing is not to think much, but to love much, and so to do what best awakens us to love.” Saint Teresa of Ávila

    "... one works on oneself as a gift to other people so that one doesn't create more suffering. I help people as a work on myself and I work on myself to help people.” Ram Dass

    We are called “to serve not our limitations but what’s whole & unbreakable, our true self. It’s easy to identify with all the places we’ve been hurt & abandoned, but can we identify with the timeless wholeness that weathers every condition? If we can’t, we may spend this life protecting ourselves and never risk really living.” Bonnie Myotai Treace

 

    To see my latest blog, simply click : www.johnlovas.com 
    To see previous blogs, scroll down from the latest blog.

    My blog is NOT "monetized."
    I'm simply sharing what I understand to be of greatest value in life.

 

One of Helen Hamilton's fine orienting talks:

In the Newness of Each Moment ...

     A chronic sense of discontent haunts most of us. "I can't get no satisfaction" as the song goes. We assume that 'if only this' or 'if only that' THEN I'd be happy. If not happiness, then at least a temporary dulling of this insatiable hunger in our belly should be attainable 'if only' I work hard enough, long enough, smart enough, etc, etc. Being trapped in & being driven by discontent leads to endless negative consequences: workaholism, other addictions & compulsive behaviors, burnout, nihilism etc.
     Meditation practice can bring much-needed clarity to our lives.

     “At the base of the conditioned mind is a wanting. This wanting takes many forms. It wants to be secure. It wants to be happy. It wants to survive. It wants to be loved. It also has specific wants: objects of desire, friendships, food, this color or that color, this kind of surrounding or some other kind. There’s wanting not to have pain. There’s wanting to be enlightened. There’s wanting to be as we wish they were.
     Our daydreams are imaginings of getting what we want; nightmares of being blocked from what we want. The planning mind tries to assure satisfaction. Most thought is based on the satisfaction of desires. Therefore, much thought has at its root a dissatisfaction with what is. Wanting is seeking elsewhere. Completeness is being right here.
     When we see the depth of wanting in the mind, we see the depth of dissatisfaction because wanting can’t be satisfied: when we get finished with one desire there’s always another. As long as we’re trying to satisfy desire, we’re increasing wanting.
     Ironically, when we experience the depth of dissatisfaction in the wanting mind there follows a great joy. Because when we see that no object of mind can in itself satisfy, then nothing that arises can draw us out and we begin to let go because there is nothing worth holding onto. The more we see how the mind wants, the more we see how wanting obscures the present. To realize that there is nothing to hold onto that can offer lasting satisfaction shows us there is nowhere to go and nothing to have and nothing to be – and that’s freedom.
     When I first heard the Buddhist ideas about suffering, I strongly resented and resisted them. I thought it was a pessimistic trip. I thought, ‘Oh this is Buddhist stuff from the East, where half of the children die before they’re five years old. Of course they think the world’s full of suffering, people are starving all around them and lying dead in the streets. But we’re not suffering here! I’m not suffering, damn it!” But seeing the scope of my wanting showed me how deeply and subtly dissatisfaction created my personal world, and that seeing freed me from much grasping, from thinking that all my wants had to be satisfied, that I had to compulsively respond to everything that arose in my mind. I saw that things can be a certain way without needing to be acted on or judged or even pushed aside. They can simply be observed.
     When I saw how vast, how potent desire is in the mind, I became frightened. I thought there was no way out, not realizing that the power by which I had recognized this condition of suffering was itself the way out. Gradually, seeing the dissatisfactory nature of much of the content of mind was opening a path to freedom. When we see that what we’re grasping is on fire, we stop reaching for it. Slowly, the mind is reconditioned to see what it’s doing.
     And we discover there are many ways that desires cause this dissatisfaction. There are, for instance, things we want that may never come our way, or things we only get once in a while, or which don’t stay for long. There are also things we get, and, after we get them, we don’t want – which is really disconcerting. Sometimes I see this with my children. They will want something so badly that we’ll go from store to store until we find it. Then, we get it and an hour later they’re saying, ‘I wish I hadn’t gotten this … I wanted the blue one.’ That’s really the heartbreaker. And, that’s in all of us. We want and we want and we want … and nothing can permanently satisfy us because not only does the thing we want change, but our wants change too. Everything is changing all the time.
     Can we think of any pain in our life that was not caused by change? But when we deeply experience this flux we don’t recoil in fear of what might be coming but rather begin to open to how things are. We don’t get lost in fatalistic imaginings or ‘noting matters’ nihilism, but instead recognize that everything matters equally.
     When the wanting becomes the object of observation, we watch with a clear attention that isn’t colored by judgment or choice; it is simply bare attention with nothing added: an openness to receive things as they are. We see that wanting is an automatic, conditioned urge in the mind. And we watch without judging ourselves for wanting. We don’t impatiently want to be rid of wanting. We simply observe it.
     Only that bare attention, that non-wantingness that can just be in the moment, has the power to decondition our compulsive reaction to wanting. It disconnects the intense pull of conditioning toward satisfying its wants. Each moment of non-wanting is a moment of freedom. Mindfulness allows that non-wanting. When there is just clear attention, when there is just watching, there’s not wanting. If you’re watching desire, wanting doesn’t continue to seek the object of satisfaction, wanting itself becomes the object of attention and the momentum that leads to action is absorbed.
     When we come to see what is freeing and what is not, we come to appreciate what will create more grasping, more painful wanting, and what will take us to wisdom and set us free.
     As this practice matures, we come to trust ourselves more. Buddha spoke about these teachings as being ‘open-handed.’ The nature of these teachings is ‘come taste for yourself; it’s for all to see.’ Experience it for yourself. We practice not because we like the teacher or the appealing way the teachings are offered or the people who are practicing the teachings, or even because we admire someone who seems to be working with the method. When we taste if for ourselves, that taste of freedom convinces us.” 
       Stephen Levine. “A Gradual Awakening.” Anchor Books, 1989.

     “Letting go of our suffering is the hardest work we will ever do. It is also the most fruitful. To heal means to meet ourselves in a new way – in the newness of each moment where all is possible and nothing is limited to the old.” Stephen Levine

Rebecca Burke - Deer - oil on canvas 2019 fogforestgallery.ca

Fear-based Rigidity & Wisdom Paths to Mature Consciousness

     Keeping an open mind-heart to reality's incomprehensible complexity, ambiguity, liminality, paradox, constant change, including the inevitable aging, sickness and death of ourselves & everyone we love, is hugely challenging.
     But because of our impressive repertoire of subconscious avoidance maneuvers, we're minimally conscious of how powerfully this impacts our daily life. We're usually unaware of the severity of our existential dread & anxiety. 
     Nor do most of us have an intelligent, mature, conscious relationship with any wisdom tradition - the inner sciences that arose specifically to navigate these most challenging aspects of life.
     Instead, most of us take one of two extreme, fear-based positions: drift in cynical nihilism - OR - lock into a dogmatic belief system (or go back & forth between these two).
     But there are intelligent, mature approaches to the various wisdom traditions that CAN help intelligent, educated people evolve in consciousness / spirituality. I'm only familiar with Buddhist, Advaita & Christian paths.
     There are other wisdom paths (Aboriginal, Hindu, Kabbalah, Sufi, etc) & other superb authors. Even outspoken atheists, like Sam Harris (below), recognize the vital role of wisdom traditions. 

               Adyashanti. “The End of Your World. Uncensored Straight Talk on the Nature of Enlightenment.” Sounds True, 2010.

               Freeman L. “Jesus the teacher within.” Medio Media / Continuum, 2000.

               Goldstein J. "Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Awakening." Sounds True, 2013. 

               Helen Hamilton. “Reality Check. A Simple Guide to Final Enlightenment.” Balboa, 2021. 

               Helen Hamilton. “Dissolving the Ego.” Balboa Press, 2021.

               Harris S. "Waking Up. A Guide to Spirituality without Religion." Simon & Schuster, 2014.
 
               Hollis J. "What Matters Most: Living a More Considered Life." Gotham, 2009.

               Hollis J. “Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life.” Gotham Books, 2005. 

               Isira. "Buddha on the Dance Floor." ‎ Living Awareness, 2014.

               Keating T. “Invitation to Love. The Way of Christian Contemplation.” Continuum, 1998. 

               Kornfield J. "Awakening is Real. A Guide to the Deeper Dimensions of the Inner Journey." Sounds True (audio) www.soundstrue.com

               May G. "Addiction and Grace. Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions." HarperCollins, 1988.

               May G. “Simply sane. The spirituality of mental health.” Crossroad, 1994. 

               Palmer PJ. “A hidden wholeness: The journey toward an undivided life.” John Wiley & Sons, 2004. 

               Parks SD. “Big questions, worthy dreams. Mentoring young adults in their search for meaning, purpose, and faith.” John Wiley & Sons, 2000. 

               Sawyer D. “Huston Smith: Wisdomkeeper. Living the World’s Religions. The Authorized Biography of a 21st Century Spiritual Giant.” Fons Vitae, 2014. 
 
               Smith R. “Awakening. A Paradigm Shift of the Heart.” Shambhala, 2014.

               Walsh R. “Essential spirituality. The 7 central practices to awaken heart and mind.” John Wiley & Sons Inc, 1999.

               Welwood J. ed. “Ordinary magic. Everyday life as spiritual path.” Shambhala, 1992.

Seriously??

    Sporadically, I've unintentionally triggered an over-the-top, enraged reaction from more than one long-time friend. What horrible offence did I commit? I questioned their worldview!
    The surprising intensity of their reaction was that of a trapped creature fighting for its life. Their verbal response voiced their adament resistance to change.
    I surmised their worldview from their chronically pessimistic outlook, cynicism, aversions & nihilism. Most people seem to lack training, knowledge & interest in psycho-social-spiritual matters, but this outburst suggested a real gut-level aversion to spirituality, philosophy & worldviews in general.
    So why would anyone defend, as SERIOUSLY, as if their life depended on it - what appears to be a sad, hopeless worldview?

    An old taboo cautions against 'discussing money, politics & religion in polite company.' Even today, some still quickly avoid such topics by labeling them, 'Too deep!' At the same time, some (wiser?) cultures maintain that these are the only topics worth discussing!
    Then there are well-known cases of children being removed from abusive homes by child-care services. But when offered the choice between going to a foster home or returning to their abusive home, these children most often choose 'the hell they know' - at least in part due to fear of the unknown (foster home).
    In the same vein, one of the reasons we resist change is due our tendency to cling to an 'identity' - even one that's (mostly) miserable & heading for disaster. "But if I'm no longer 'the drunken party animal,' who will I be?" No matter how vague, uncomfortable & confining a self-concept & worldview is, 'it's how & who I am, so don't mess with what ain't broke - broke real bad!' - reminiscent of, "My country - right or wrong!"

    I'm always excited to see something I’ve been teaching in my MBSR courses for a long time, expressed in a more easily accessible, and hopefully more widely credible language.
    I'm also happy to see the clearest explanation for my friends' violent reactions to my attempts to point them towards imho a far healthier worldview & wellbeing*** :

    "Since 2006, Jeffery Martin PhD & his team have collected data from thousands of people across six continents who have extraordinary levels of wellbeing, trying to figure out what makes them so different from everyone else. What this first of its kind global academic research project has revealed is nothing short of remarkable. Outwardly, these individuals form a true cross section of humanity."
    Dr. Jeffery A. Martin. “The Finders.” Integration Press, 2019.

    "The gist of Fundamental Wellbeing (Awakening, Persistent Non-Symbolic Experience, etc) is a shift in the human nervous system away from what we think of as a kind of old, outdated wiring.
    So if you’re sitting in a café and a bird lands near your table, and you toss it a crumb, what happens? Well, the bird generally looks around first and makes sure it’s not going to get killed; and then it pecks at the crumb; and then it looks around again to make sure it’s not going to get killed; and it takes another peck at the crumb.
    As humans, we think, ‘Ah, what primitive behavior. Look how the bird is so jittery.’ What we don’t realize is that we have the same wiring inside of us. All animals have the same wiring, we have the same cycle playing out in our nervous system that is in every moment – in our case, at least every 90 seconds or so – basically checking in & making sure, ‘Hey, is the ceiling I’m under right now, raining plaster – do I need to run for my life?’ or whatever else, right? So there’s the sense that something is just not quite right in this moment, or potentially not quite right in this moment. And that’s at a very foundational level of the nervous system. That’s in birds, and everything else, in those old parts of the nervous system, and it’s been built on, layer over layer over layer, as our nervous systems modernize, as our brain grew, as new structures grew on top of old structures, to a point where now, when we live relatively safe lives. I mean, I’m not really thinking the roof is actually going to fall in while I’m sitting here. You’re probably not worried about some wild animal ripping your arm off or somebody rushing in with a gun and killing you where you are. We live safe lives, our food is safe, right? I’m not worried about food poisoning from my next meal, or anything like that.
    We are living fundamentally safe lives, with the programming that says, ‘Wait a minute, you might not be safe in this moment,’ right? So what happens, this program basically maps over other areas of our life. So when your boss says, ‘You’re fired,’ or your spouse says, ‘I’m leaving you,’ it feels like a tiger is ripping your arm off, or somebody emptied a shotgun into your chest. So we have these inappropriate nervous system responses that are all based & grounded in survival.
    [[[ *** THIS is how my friends MISTOOK mere questioning of their sad worldview (about which they seamed to know little) for a DEADLY SERIOUS ATTACK!*** This must be the same primitive reaction pathway by which merely "looking at someone the wrong way," especially in a bar, can result in being severely beaten, or worse! As Michael Singer suggests, we tend to take simple preferences far too seriously. ]]]

    What happens in Fundamental Wellbeing is that there’s a shift in that. So instead of the nervous system cycling through & saying, ‘Hey, something might not be right, right now; something might not be right, right now;’ with the corresponding cascade of worry & anxiety, and all the things that are kind of endemic in normal human society building & sitting on top of that rising to conscious awareness, and so on; instead, you have a sense that everything is fundamentally okay, even if your boss did just say, ‘You know what, you’re fired, and I’m going to make sure you never work in this industry again,’ or your spouse says, ‘I’m leaving you, and I’m taking the kids, and I’m taking everything.’ These things that would normally, at a surface level, understandably produce concerns, fears, worries, sadness – it’s not that they can’t still do that in Fundamental Wellbeing, but deep down, instead of it feeling like a tiger is ripping your arm off or a shotgun just went off into your chest, somehow, paradoxically, things seem okay. So even in extreme situations, there’s this peace if you go and look for it.
    At its core, Fundamental Wellbeing is basically a rewiring in the nervous system in how it looks at & deals with survival, & how it makes us feel in the moment.”
    Dr Jeffery Martin on A Scientific Approach to Awakening and Fundamental Wellbeing: Part 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmsLdIH8nzU&t=1881s

    So how does one acquire this exceptional level of wellbeing, so we won't need to bite a friend's head off for trying to help, and perhaps not starting all those bar-room brawls? Well, immersing oneself in Michael A. Singer's book, “Living Untethered" is a superb practical start.

"Seek Stillness" - by Molly Hahn www.BuddhaDoodles.com