Awakened Perspective

    “Awe is the feeling of being in the presence of something vast that transcends your current understanding of the world.” Jonathan Haidt & Dacher Keltner

    “The only service you can do for anyone (including yourself) is to remind them of their true nature.” Stephen Levine

 

    This information Jonathan Ashford brought back will resonate, uplift and help guide when you're ready to hear it:

    “It was made very clear to me on the other side, that the information that I have is for those who are ready to receive it. One of the messages which was very clear is that it’s for the one, not the 99. And coming back, it’s kind of like, well, who’s that one? Who’s that one person this is for? But you get to this understanding that the information is catered to each individual. It’s for the one, the one, the one, the one. And everybody hears it in a way that helps them. 
    But the message is, if I could say there is one message, is everything that I was shown was based on love. It’s the glue that holds together who we are, what we are, reality, the formless. It’s understanding that everything can be boiled down to love. Even the worst day of your life is a loving day. But you can only get there when you wake up. You can only get there if you make the free will choice to try and remember what you are and live consciously. Otherwise, it will never make sense.

    There are a few reasons (why we come here over and over again). I like to remind everybody that if you chose to come back here, you came to serve. You serve the whole with your next breath. There’s not anything you need to do or change. But you do serve the whole. We’re all tools in the garden that get picked up to be used appropriately when they’re needed to be used. So, we all experience what we need to experience through others, through our circumstances, through what we experience in life. If you lived in that cave your entire life, you wouldn’t experience much. The reason we come down is to remember. You could say it’s to remember love. And you could say we turn away from the sun so that we can remember that there’s a sun behind us, and turn back and experience it. So, it’s always going out to return. And most people try to intellectualize their way there, but it’s more about the free will choice of remembering love, not intellectual love, not conditional love, but unconditional love.

    And unconditional love is saying there’s nothing to worry about. I go on forever. Death isn’t death. Unconditional love is knowing that there’s a benevolent force in the room with you at all times. It doesn’t sit in a throne somewhere. Unconditional love is recognizing everybody here has the same amnesia and they’re just doing what they’re doing because of the amnesia. And when you wake up, you can grow in compassion in ways that are beyond measure, just recognizing that that neighbour you don’t like just doesn’t remember.

    (Our future depends on) 2 possibilities (according to) the visions I’ve had recently. Those 2 possibilities are right back to that free will choice: whether I choose to live as an awakened being OR I’m asleep. And that directly affects what we will experience.

    Everybody asks me how to change the world. How can we help? And I give everybody the same answer. ‘Wake up.’ You awake changes the world. I was shown this on the other side. Imagine that the billions of people in the world all wake up tomorrow and everybody’s awake and are loving beings. What happens? Well, the earth stops. This whole reality stops. The whole reality here is based on contrast, because the contrast is the sandpaper that wakes you up to what you are. And if you no longer need it, what’s the point of contrast? 
    But it’s the understanding that it’s not about volume, it’s about authenticity. So, it isn’t well, if we only get 3 million people to wake up, we’re safe. It’s more about there’s a hand that moves pieces on a board, and we’re the pieces. Are we giving it the opportunity to move us in a way that benefits the whole? Or are we fighting the hand? When you wake up, you don’t fight the hand. You know that the hand is there for you. You know that the hand is there for all others. But if we’re in our intellects and our egos, we fight the hand because we’re viewing reality through our own intellect and our intellect has its own lens of what it thinks is right, wrong, good, bad, where we want to end up. 
    So, it’s a time of surrender. Surrendering to the fact that you’re something more. Does everybody need to wake up? No. But those who are close to waking up, should.

    Interviewer Q: Do you fear death?
    Jonathan Ashford (JA): No. Not at all.

    Q: If you met somebody that was grieving over the loss of a loved one, what type of advice would you give?
    JA: I’ve done it many times. I speak to a lot of widows and people who are about to pass. And I tell them, imagine yourself as the ocean. And then a warm or cold air hits the ocean and you turn into fog. And then a warm or cold air comes again and you turn into a cloud. And a warm or cold air shows up again, then you turn into the rain that falls back in the ocean. Were you ever not the ocean? The ocean was always there. Death is nothing more than a change of state. 
    You’re not going anywhere. You’re not lost. You’re not in some other realm. You’re just the fog now or the cloud or the rain. You’re still in the same room. You’re still here. You still have access to everything, to everybody. And I often tell people to just speak to them because they can hear you. Everything here is alive. Everything here is connected. And it’s just understanding that we’re no longer in form. We’re just formless. But we’re not gone.

    Q: How would you explain what God is in all of this? 
    JA: I think God, as I understand it in my experience of it, it’s so many things. It’s love. It’s a binding force. It’s a personality. It does have a personality, and it does have a sense of humour. 
    Can it be a guy with a long beard and a tunic? Sure. Can it be invisible forever? Sure. It can be whatever it wants to be. But, it’s knowing that all things have it within. Your doorknob is God. Your door is God. The paint on your wall is God. You are God. The air is God. Your clothing is God. Everything has it within. It’s the circle from which all things come. And all things are constantly connected to it. Is it one thing? No. Often, I refer to it as they because it is many. It’s many things. It’s all things. If you’re breathing air, you’re breathing God. 
    We try to personify it. We try to make it into a human with a certain level of power that makes certain decisions. And it can be that. But, honestly, it’s much bigger, and it’s much more. And it’s something that moves pieces on this board of existence for something greater. And it’s just the reminder to say your existence was never your own. It was never your existence. It was ours. We’re all together in this. We’re all just holding hands through it. And when you understand God, the All, the Universe, the Source, plays a part in literally every second of your existence. When you wake up to that and acknowledge it, life changes.

    Q: Can you give us some practical ways to live our lives, to make the right choices? 
    JA: Yeah. It’s going to sound really simple, but I just tell everybody to pause for a second before you make a decision. Just 1 second. Just 1 second of pause. We tend to be reactive, right? We’re human, so we’re very reactive based on the inputs we receive, or we’re instant like a calculator. But do the math. Do it longhand. Take your time. And try to make a decision based on the infinite you rather than the desire that the human has.”
    Jonathan Ashford "DEAD for 3 Hours & Who He Saw Changed Everything! (NDE)" 50-minute interview https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hl3RJ-DIUiY     

    To appreciate where Jonathan is coming from, invest two & a quarter hours in Rick Archer's excellent, in-depth, recent interview: Jonathan Ashford: C‑Level Executive’s NDE, Life Review, and Radical Spiritual Awakening https://batgap.com/jonathan-ashford/ 
    A 40-minute documentary for a condensed overview: "The near death experience of Jonathan Ashford" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXSnS2jMY4k

    Other excellent Q&A style interviews also well-worth immersing yourself in:
    Jonathan Ashford "Dead for 3 Hours, What I Learned will Change you" 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyeHC2wGdAY
    Jonathan Ashford Q&A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRplu6SjXrQ 
    From Zero to Enlightenment: Jonathan Ashford’s Near-Death Experience 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMA8kApZVGk

Being Fully Alive

     Many Buddhists recite the Five Recollections every morning:
     1. I am of the nature to grow old; there is no way to escape growing old.
     2. I am of the nature to have ill health; there is no way to escape having ill health.
     3. I am of the nature to die; there is no way to escape death.
     4. All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them.
     5. My deeds are my closest companions. I am the beneficiary of my deeds. My deeds are the ground on which I stand.

     Many today would find, at least 1-4 disturbing or depressing. After all, we work so hard from early childhood on, to gain agency - as much control as possible over our external environment. We work constantly striving to make our immediate environment - our body, family, friends, home, car, office - as safe, healthy, pleasant & comfortable as possible. We want to hang onto the good stuff forever; we want to keep the bad stuff away forever. 

     “Everyone who is being overtaken by death
 asks for more time,
     while everyone who still has time
makes excuses for procrastination.”
       Cleary T (trans): "Living and Dying with Grace. Counsels of Hadrat Ali." Shambhala, 1996.

     At the same time, deep down we know that our ability to control most things is very limited & temporary. Everyone & everything is constantly changing, aging, getting sick & dying. It takes a higher-than-average level of maturity to let go of our "illusion of control," face reality squarely, and live our life with existential reality front & center. Psychologists have long recognized that a subconscious fear of death has a corrosive effect. 

     “Psychologists have conducted a great deal of research on our ability to consciously suppress unwanted thoughts & emotions. Their findings are clear: we have no such ability. Paradoxically, any attempt to consciously suppress unwanted thoughts & emotions appears to only make them stronger.
     Research shows that people with higher levels of self-compassion are significantly less likely to suppress unwanted thoughts & emotions than those who lack self-compassion. They’re more willing to experience their difficult feelings and to acknowledge that their emotions are valid and important. This is because of the safety provided by self-compassion. It’s not as scary to confront emotional pain when you know that you will be supported throughout the process. Just as it feels easier to open up to a close friend whom you can rely on to be caring and understanding, it’s easier to open up to yourself when you can trust that your pain will be held in compassionate awareness.
     The beauty of self-compassion is that instead of replacing negative feelings with positive ones, new positive emotions are generated by embracing the negative ones. The positive emotions of care and connectedness are felt alongside our painful feelings. When we have compassion for ourselves, sunshine and shadow are both experienced simultaneously. This is important – ensuring that the fuel of resistance isn’t added to the fire of negativity. It also allows us to celebrate the entire range of human experience, so that we can become whole. As Marcel Proust said, ‘We are healed from suffering only by experiencing it to the full.’ ” 
        Kristin Neff. “Self-Compassion. The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself.” HarperCollins, 2011.

     “Age is opportunity no less
than youth itself, though in another dress,
     And as the evening twilight fades away
the sky is filled with stars invisible by day.” Longfellow

     Meditation practice has been described as practicing dying. 
     “You can develop centered awareness through daily practice. Going inside daily – in meditation, in contemplative prayer, in solitude, in communion with nature – brings clarity to your purpose, your gifts, and your passion. It also brings you face-to-face with your fears and vulnerabilities as, in quiet awareness, you incrementally engage the light side and the shadow side, subtly preparing not just for vital living, but also for your eventual death.
     When your final breaths come, you can accept the Mystery graciously, knowing the impermanence of the body and the eternal nature of consciousness. When the great darkness blocks out the sun, centered awareness will provide the calm courage to embrace the Mystery. And if you are blessed with another sunrise, your choosing to connect daily with the mystery will enlighten everything – a cup of tea, a stand of trees, a simple hello.”
        Crum TF. “Journey to Center. Lessons in Unifying Body, Mind, and Spirit.” Fireside, 1997. 

     ANY of us might be surprised to find that we only have a very short time to live. This has the potential to vastly accelerate our process of maturation. Like the more common, protracted aging process (see: http://www.johnlovas.com/2011/12/successful-aging.html), the accelerated process also offers two main choices: remaining traumatized, bitter, angry etc by impending death - OR - impending death acting as a catalyst, resulting in flourishing & thriving (post-traumatic growth)!!!

     "some have asserted that cancer may be one of the most challenging diseases to treat because of the various levels of human experience that it penetrates, from the physical, to the psychological, and spiritual. However, psychological reactions to a cancer diagnosis are not exclusively negative. For example, a diagnosis may actually provoke patients to begin an internal search for greater awareness and a sense of meaning and purpose in life. ... A psychosocial transition is a major life event that causes a process whereby individuals gradually change their worldview, expectations, and plans. ... people may make sense of their diagnosis by finding positive benefit(s) in their situation.
     Related processes have been studied under various names, including post-traumatic growth (PTG), stress-related growth, benefit finding, adversarial growth, positive change, thriving, personal growth, positive adjustment, and transformation.
     ... PTG is comprised of three broad categories: perceived changes in self, a changed sense of relationship with others, and a changed philosophy of life. The mechanisms by which an intervention may facilitate the development of PTG may be through taking advantage of the trauma-induced disruption in the person’s life to introduce a transition towards new beneficial organization compared to one’s beliefs before the trauma."
       Garland SN et al. A non-randomized comparison of mindfulness-based stress reduction and healing arts programs for facilitating post-traumatic growth and spirituality in cancer outpatients. Support Care Cancer 2007; 15(8): 949-61.

     “We suffer to the exact degree that we resist having our eyes and hearts opened.” Adyashanti

     “In our society, we put a lot of emphasis on doing. So it can be frustrating to be in a situation in which there is often not all that much to do, as in relating with the sick or dying. But fundamentally it is our being that matters, who we really are and how that manifests in whatever we do.”
       Lief JL. “Making Friends with Death. A Buddhist Guide to Encountering Mortality.” Shambhala, 2001.

     "Dying people usually ask two questions: 'Am I loved?' and 'Did I love well?' This is where people find the meaning and value in their life as they come to the end."
       Frank Ostaseski, founder of the Zen Hospice project in San Francisco, California

We're All Doing Our Best, and Yet ...

     We're all just trying to do our best to be happy, no matter how our behaviors may appear to outside observers. In the process, we unintentionally create, or at least maintain, a lot of needless suffering for ourselves & others.
     Meditation, first & foremost, allows us see clearly, with a far deeper intelligence (than the conditioned, fear-based, self-talk-filled, superficial level with which we're usually identified).
 
     In his fascinating paper, Roger Walsh MD, PhD, professor of psychiatry, philosophy, anthropology & religion, describes his remarkable insights & discoveries during meditation, despite his strong initial skepticism & fears. 
     These same fears keep many away from meditation. And even those of us who choose to meditate, only disengage from our momentum of distracted self-talk ("the story of me") very, very gradually, at our own pace. The shift from noisy psychological defenses to the sublime silence & stillness of our deeper intelligence tends to be slow & delicate.


     “Whereas initially I had believed that the inner world must of necessity harbor unwholesome collections of monsters, which I had avoided confronting all my life, I now came to think of this inner world as a very attractive, pleasant source of positive information.
 
     I was beginning to agree with the statements such as those of Willis Harman (1962): ‘We are all hypnotized from infancy … We do not perceive ourselves and the world about us as they are but as we have been persuaded to perceive them.’
     … it was becoming clear that from the perspective of this hypnotized, illusory world view, my symptoms and defenses appeared not only logical but optimal. It would have seemed stupid to act in any other way. And here was the key to a new understanding of the nature of defenses and resistance. If from our perceived world view we are already acting optimally, then of course we would resist change of any type and would seek to strengthen our defenses rather than relinquish them. To relinquish them would feel like sacrificing those very strategies which we believe to be essential for our well-being. Now I could begin to make sense out of the old adage that neurotics don’t come into psychotherapy to get better; they come in to learn how to be better neurotics. A corollary of this is that the really important growth choices involve changes in the beliefs, perspectives, and viewpoints from which we are perceiving rather than attempting to change that which we are looking at. That is, the changes are process, second order, contextual, or perspective changes.
     These insights gave me a very new perspective on the nature of personality, neurosis, neurotic symptoms, self-actualization, authenticity, and courage. Now I could look at people and see that each and everyone of them, each and everyone of us, was courageously coping with reality and themselves as he or she believed, and hence perceived, them to be. Furthermore, they acted and perceived with total commitment in ways that seemed to them absolutely necessary and appropriate. Moreover, each person daily created and endured an extraordinary amount of well-intended suffering in a continuous battle which was fought day in and day out with total but almost totally unappreciated commitment and courage. For each of them, for each of us, every response appeared to represent the optimal self-actualizing strategy, and I could now understand the humanistic psychology position as enunciated by Carl Rogers (1959) that the ‘basic actualizing tendency is the only motive which is postulated in this theoretical system.’
     Thus it became apparent that many of the beliefs and fears I encountered were not unique to me but rather were widespread in our culture. This raises the interesting question as to what extent they are transmitted and taught to us as part of the cultural hypnosis mentioned above.” 
       Roger Walsh. “Journey Beyond Belief.” Journal of Humanistic Psychology 24(2); 30-65, 1984. https://drrogerwalsh.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Journey-Beyond-Belief-1984-J.-Humanistic-Psychology-24-2-30-651.pdf

The Power of Forgiveness

     We've ALL experienced various forms of trauma, and as a result, are ALL contracted to varying degrees. This contracted state distorts & negatively impacts our perception, behavior, & ultimately our capacity for intimacy - diminishing connection with ourselves, others & the world.
     This author writes from deep personal experience, hard-earned wisdom, as well as formal education. It's much easier to remain stuck in the contracted state, than to follow her advice & start healing:

     "The choice to meet suffering consciously, and then to open wider than this suffering, is the act of forgiveness. Very often there’s an idea that forgiveness is something you do, perhaps a kind gesture, the writing of a ‘letter of forgiveness’ to everyone who’s ever hurt you, or a turning of the other cheek. But the action is really an inner one. It’s the choice to open wider than you want to, wider than you can even imagine.
     Sometimes, you can really believe that you’re choosing to meet suffering consciously and yet somehow you’re still a victim of this suffering. For example, when you’re in the grip of a dark emotion and you feel it intensely, you think you’re meeting it completely, yet it doesn’t dissolve. The pain is like a rock; it just stays there. In this case, there’s still a subtle refusal to let go of the victim story. To open wider than the suffering is to be willing for the victim (one's victim identity or story) to die. As much as you say you no longer want to be the victim, the death of this 'victim' is synonymous with the death of 'self,' because victim-identity is a primary part of the ego’s scaffolding. The question to be faced here is this: ‘Who would you be without the victim?’ This isn’t to be replaced with another idea of self, not even a positive self! The question is one that functions to take you deeper into the core of being where there is no self, but only if you are willing for the structures that uphold your sense of self to come tumbling down.
     Of course, when trauma runs deep, if you’ve been physically or emotionally abused by someone in your family, a stranger, or by a collective force (such as Holocaust or political exile), it’s difficult to forgive. After all, the abuse did take place and you were indeed a victim of someone else’s violence, hatred, or insanity. Letting go of the victim story is certainly not about condoning injustice or cruelty; it’s not about making a wrong right. It’s really not about the ‘other,’ but about you. Holding on to ‘it shouldn’t have happened’ perpetuates a grievance. This creates an energetic contraction that freezes your life force, locks it into the past, and prevents full engagement with life now. One of the primary handicaps of trauma is the inability to ‘cope’ with situations that invoke strong emotions. There’s often a withdrawal from the deeper current of life, a closing down of the feeling-nature that shows up as an inability to be intimate (either emotionally or sexually), and a very high sensitivity to the stress of new situations, unexpected events, and loss. But even though this self-protective pattern continues way past the original event, it is possible for the energetic knot of trauma to be released.
     Through having the courage to face what deeply hurts and ‘sitting inside it’ without judgment, there is a dissolution of the grievance. It’s precisely this ‘sitting inside the grievance’ that was not possible when the traumatic event originally happened. The resistance to the horror and pain of the original event created a kind of splitting off of consciousness as a form of protection, and then the overlay of a story that says, ‘This shouldn’t be happening.’
     Forgiveness is, first and foremost, an inner journey. It’s about you. Are you willing to put an end to your inner conflict? Are you willing to meet the violence, hatred, cruelty, injustice, unkindness, greed, and ignorance in you? Are you willing to see that each of us is capable of dark feelings? These feelings may or may not be acted on, but the point is that we are each capable of experiencing these feelings. Forgiveness is the natural outcome of letting go of inner conflict. It begins with taking responsibility for your inner experience rather than continue to avoid the pain by throwing it outward through blame & retaliation.
     The power of forgiveness is poignantly encapsulated in The Railway Man, the autobiographical story of Eric Lomax, a prisoner of war in World War II who suffered brutal torture at the hands of the Japanese. This experience left deeply buried emotional scars in his psyche that created havoc in his personal life. Many years later, after uncovering in himself a desire for revenge, he set out to kill his former tormentor. But in meeting him and pouring out his story of pain and hatred, he saw at the same time the humanity within his tormentor and the inhumanity within himself. As his heart opened, his inner reality was transformed and a tender friendship developed between the two men that lasted until they both passed away in old age.
     At the core of every human being is a desire for love & wholeness: all acts of terror & horror are misguided attempts to find this. When you are the one who has been hurt by these terrorizing & horrifying acts, it may seem like it’s impossible to believe this. Each one of us is called to dig much deeper into our inner knowing, to see that when the desire for love and wholeness moves through a form that has also suffered and been damaged, it comes out in distorted ways. At the root of this distortion is an ignorance of true nature and a consequent acting from a belief of separation. From this belief, all fear, hatred, violence in the name of justice, and other endless harmful acts are inevitable. Seeing that ignorance is the root cause of all suffering opens our hearts. We see but do not judge; we see without a story. This is the essence of compassion, redemption, and resurrection. As Jesus said as he was dying on the cross: ‘Forgive them Father for they know not what they do.’
     An open heart allows the forgiveness of others, the world, life, God, and the self. In choosing to open to the mystery of this moment with all hits horror, you, as a separate self, die in this moment as it is, and what is revealed is the unending glory of an inner power. Forgiveness has the power to heal, for your sake and for the sake of the world. It’s a power that defies all opposition. And it’s more potent than any action.”


       Amoda Maa. “Embodied Enlightenment. Living Your Awakening in Every Moment.” Reveal Press, 2017. I highly recommend this powerful book.

We're all on the same path ...

Who is Minding the Mind?

     A toddler breaks his favorite toy and experiences perhaps his first "shipwreck" - his whole world crumbles and cries his heart out. His grandmother sees this, smiles, and gently reassures the child, who then fabricates a new worldview, one that now includes the possibility of life even after one's favorite toy breaks.
      The toddler's quality of life is completely dependent on & controlled by his external circumstances. He reacts automatically - almost machine-like - to his environment. Such reflexive reactions typically bring about "short-term gain", which we realize at some point, usually comes with "long-term pain." Reactivity can remain a dominant, destructive force throughout one's entire life.
      A very wise individual's quality of life can be stunningly independent of external circumstances. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/11/431-transformative-power-of-acceptance.html Instead of reflexively reacting to environmental changes, they experience a gap in time, during which they can choose from a variety of possible responses ranging greatly with respect to the probable long-term effects on themselves, others & the environment. The wisest choice is that which is thought to bring about the most long-term improved quality of life, & least amount of suffering for all concerned. When wisdom is the highest priority, true happiness & peace arise.
      Reactivity increases from reacting mindlessly to situations. Wisdom increases from responding wisely to situations. Whatever we choose to train in, becomes stronger & easier to use. Prolonged patient continuous mindfulness practice inevitably leads towards greater wisdom-based happiness even under the most challenging situations.
      So we always have a choice: prioritizing the practice of minding our mind - OR - allow the mind to continue running on autopilot?

     "Our true nature is far more ancient and encompassing than the separate self defined by habit and society. We are as intrinsic to our living world as the rivers and trees, woven of the same intricate flows of matter/energy and mind. Having evolved us into self-reflective consciousness, the world can now know itself through us, behold its own majesty, tell its own stories, and also respond to its own suffering." Joanna Macy

     The wisdom level of our consciousness ("the wise grandparent") is inherently part of us. The often dominant autopilot reactivity ("self-centered todler") is ALSO an inherent part of us. We need to explore, get to know & accept ALL aspects of ourself (all our subpersonalities) and thus gradually stabilize in the wisdom level of our consciousness.
 

Wednesday Morning 3am - for All Who Came & Went Today

Birth is miraculous
Death is miraculous
Many many many ways 
to live the liminal ephemeral in-between

Embracing My Own Mortality

     "Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. 
     Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. 
     You are already naked. 
     There is no reason not to follow your heart."  

       Steve Jobs (Feb 24, 1955 – Oct 5, 2011) co-founder, chairman, & CEO of Apple Inc.

 

Erez Marom   www.dpreview.com

Awake by Choice?

     We need to keep reminding ourselves, and clearly recognize the fact that very few of us are fully conscious, living fully integrated lives.
     We clearly sense the disconnect between what we actually AND should think, say and do. Often we simply stumble along with the momentum of our reptilian instincts. A big part of this primitive momentum is our love affair with distraction - we have MUCH in common with the golden retriever (below). We seem to need to fully exhaust, to become thoroughly sick & tired of being dumb-asses.

     We have all the hardware to be homo sapiens sapiens right here, right now - BUT - do have to CHOOSE to be AWAKE, now, now, now, now ...

Deep Down, We Know

     Highly spiritually-evolved people, are said to seamlessly straddle both relative ("self") & ultimate reality ("Self") - "not one, not two". They are said to clearly see how self-serving behavior would cause needless suffering to self & others, and thus naturally choose action that causes the most benefit (& least suffering) to all. This is porousness - being open to the flow of reality, without craving, aversion or delusion.
     I suspect most of us have compromised our values by intentionally choosing the low road - knowing full well what we SHOULD do, and assuming we WILL behave appropriately at an unspecified time in our future, when we inhabit our BETTER selves. We assume we have a stable personality, that SHOULD & MIGHT change later, BUT FOR NOW it's easier, more convenient, more comfortable, being "who we are" - "the way we've always been".

     BUT IN FACT, moment-by-moment, we choose between heaven & hell - which are less than a breath apart, right here, in the eternal now.

Traffic jam in Venice, Italy

Difficulty Understanding & Connecting

     When we encounter new situations, statements, concepts, or ideas, to what degree are we aware that we actually have a conscious choice in how we respond? Whether we engage with OR avoid what's new, depends on our "readiness for change": http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/11/436-readiness-for-change-is-pivotal.html

      In retrospect, it's sad to think how many times (millions) we've automatically - with little or no conscious awareness - avoided the path of open-hearted conscious evolution. We may have interpreted these (missed opportunities) as: "I don't get it", "This is way too deep", "I'm confused", "This stuff puts me to sleep", "I'm a doer, not a navel-gazer," etc, etc. 
     But the fact is, we all have a lifetime's worth of perfectly legitimate reasons for being preoccupied with self-preservation & self-protection.  
     If our past has conditioned us to feel chronically frightened & unwanted, then our brain is specialized to manage feelings of fear & abandonment ie life feels like a chronic struggle to survive, and naturally, we'll tend to be in survival mode (rarely if ever appropriate in modern times).
     If, on the other hand, we've been conditioned to feel safe & loved, then our brain is specialized to explore, play & cooperate, so we'll naturally spend most of your time near the opposite end of the continuum ie life feels like a pleasant, interesting adventure, & we'll behave appropriately, & at times even wisely, regardless of circumstances. Bessel Van Der Kolk. “The Body Keeps the Score. Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma.” Penguin Books, 2015. 
     In this qualitatively different, universal but usually fleeting level of consciousness, we experience peace, ease, equanimity, clear awareness, timelessness, stillness, silence, effortlessness, loving-kindness, & joy.

     It may take some study of trauma combined with serious self-reflection before we realize the extent to which we've been traumatized, & therefore benefit greatly from therapy to help liberate us from our heavy conditioning. Hopefully, before we die or decline mentally, we become ready to transcend fearful narrow self-concern and open up to exploring & reconnecting with the big picture.

      Below is an excellent short (16min) video of Adyashanti discussing this readiness: