Embracing Paradox

     "Intimacy with all things" includes apparent paradoxes. Here's a striking example of this from a learned, seasoned explorer of consciousness, Ralph Metzner PhD:

     “I came to a new understanding of the two key mottos that run through much of the alchemical literature of the European Middle Ages. 
     One of these is natura naturans – ‘nature doing everything naturally.’ This is also the fundamental concept in traditional Chinese and Indian medicine, as well as in western Hippocratic and indigenous medicinal practice: that the body basically heals itself, and we just need to support that process. We can rely on our primal, unconditioned, instinctual mind to sustain our health and well-being as we go through the life cycle from conception to birth, youth, maturity, old age, and death.
     The other motto, equally pervasive in the alchemical literature, is opus contra naturam – ‘the work against nature.’ This image and motto seemingly contradicts the first one. It avers that in order to really wake up and become conscious we have to practice working with mindful intention against the inertial pull of the unconscious sleeplike habits of everyday life. Gurdjieff and other masters of the so-called Fourth Way, as well as some teachers in the Sufi, Zen, and Taoist lineages, are often identified with this way.
     D.T. Suzuki (1980) wrote: ‘What is awakened in the Zen experience is not a “new” experience but an “old” one, which has been dormant since our loss of innocence … The awakening is really the rediscovery or the excavation of a long-lost treasure … the finding ourselves back in our original abode where we lived even before our birth.’ ”

      Ralph Metzner. “Searching for the Philosophers’ Stone. Encounters with Mystics, Scientists, and Healers.” Park Street Press, 2018.

Fear and Non-suffering

     “ ‘After thousands of years we’re still strangers to darkness, fearful aliens in an enemy camp with our arms crossed over our chests,’ Dillard writes ...

     When it comes to illness, dying, death – those darknesses – it seems we are still so very much Plymouth Pilgrims – all fear and fretting and fortifications, and a strong sense of our own alienness in a hostile land. We don’t begin to know what to do with ourselves. We cross our arms over our chests and try to look on the bright side as we starve.”
       Nina Riggs. “The Bright Hour. A Memoir of Living and Dying.” Simon & Schuster, 2017. 

     It’s so important to remember, especially for well-educated folks, that while we may consider ourselves highly rational, our thoughts, words & actions are mostly emotion-driven conditioned reactions ie we're sleep-walking through life. Our education allows us to rationalize more elegantly. Can we step back & notice every time we lazily start dumping an old stock opinion on someone? Aren't we all too often as brain-dead & dreary as a person spewing a sales pitch? Do we really want to be like a large ship, with no crew on board, blind momentum taking it to inevitable disaster?
     It's sad & frightening to see folks who seem to exist in a perpetual fog bank. They "try to" clarify things, but find existential & wisdom topics too complicated, too depressing, or they keep falling asleep as soon as they start listening, watching or reading about these. The possibility of avoidance doesn't seem to cross their minds.
     “… the physician’s duty is not to stave off death or return patients to their old lives, but to take into our arms a patient and family whose lives have disintegrated and work until they can stand back up and face, and make sense of, their own existence.”
       Paul Kalanithi. “When Breath Becomes Air.” Random House, 2016.

       “The best way out is always through.”                   Robert Frost 

     “… when my mind was focused on what was in my heart instead of all the fears from my past, I was able to experience myself as an unencumbered non-suffering being.

     In meditation we learn to cultivate and stretch the moments of being unencumbered, those places of non-suffering.
 
     Only through acknowledging and releasing blind emotions can I experience the inner unencumbered and harmonious being that is always present despite the suffering.

     We cannot fully practice any call for liberation without our lives being fully exposed. There is no hiding.”

      Zenju Earthlyn Manuel https://www.inquiringmind.com/article/2901_08_manual-the-terror-within/

"The Eternal Eye" by Alice Mason https://www.etsy.com/ca/shop/AliceMasonArtist?ref=l2-shopheader-name

Who is Minding the Mind?

     A toddler breaks his favorite toy and experiences perhaps his first "shipwreck" - his whole world crumbles and cries his heart out. His grandmother sees this, smiles, and gently reassures the child, who then fabricates a new worldview, one that now includes the possibility of life even after one's favorite toy breaks.
      The toddler's quality of life is completely dependent on & controlled by his external circumstances. He reacts automatically - almost machine-like - to his environment. Such reflexive reactions typically bring about "short-term gain", which we realize at some point, usually comes with "long-term pain." Reactivity can remain a dominant, destructive force throughout one's entire life.
      A very wise individual's quality of life can be stunningly independent of external circumstances. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/11/431-transformative-power-of-acceptance.html Instead of reflexively reacting to environmental changes, they experience a gap in time, during which they can choose from a variety of possible responses ranging greatly with respect to the probable long-term effects on themselves, others & the environment. The wisest choice is that which is thought to bring about the most long-term improved quality of life, & least amount of suffering for all concerned. When wisdom is the highest priority, true happiness & peace arise.
      Reactivity increases from reacting mindlessly to situations. Wisdom increases from responding wisely to situations. Whatever we choose to train in, becomes stronger & easier to use. Prolonged patient continuous mindfulness practice inevitably leads towards greater wisdom-based happiness even under the most challenging situations.
      So we always have a choice: prioritizing the practice of minding our mind - OR - allow the mind to continue running on autopilot?

     "Our true nature is far more ancient and encompassing than the separate self defined by habit and society. We are as intrinsic to our living world as the rivers and trees, woven of the same intricate flows of matter/energy and mind. Having evolved us into self-reflective consciousness, the world can now know itself through us, behold its own majesty, tell its own stories, and also respond to its own suffering." Joanna Macy

     The wisdom level of our consciousness ("the wise grandparent") is inherently part of us. The often dominant autopilot reactivity ("self-centered todler") is ALSO an inherent part of us. We need to explore, get to know & accept ALL aspects of ourself (all our subpersonalities) and thus gradually stabilize in the wisdom level of our consciousness.
 

Happy, Happy, Happy all the time?

     Current society's idea of perfect happiness is living a continuous beer commercial: being one of the young (20's), beautiful, sexy people frolicking around a campfire on a beach (drinking the advertised product). 
     This is far removed from reality. Everyone is subject to constant change (anicca) & unsatisfactoriness (dukkha), but we don't need to take any of it personally (anatta). 

     Even the wise, spiritually-mature feel sympathetic pain when witnessing the suffering of others.
     “The sorrow, grief, and rage you feel is a measure of your humanity and your evolutionary maturity. As your heart breaks open there will be room for the world to heal.”          Joanna Macy    

     Life for an evolved human being is NOT about maximizing pleasure (craving) & minimizing discomfort (aversion). Our primitive brain stem can run that simple approach-avoidance program in the background (autopilot). 
     Our life is about consciously attending - waking up, learning what exactly is going on, who exactly we are, and living in harmony with that enlightened realization.

     See: http://jglovas.wix.com/awarenessnow#!Getting-Through/c17jj/5788e4150cf2e258337be375
 

 

Impeccability OR Half-heartedness?

     “A man or woman of knowledge is impeccable. There are some people who are very careful about the nature of their acts. Their happiness is to act with the full knowledge that they don’t have time. Therefore their acts have a peculiar power. Acts have power, especially when the person acting knows that those acts are their last battle. There’s a strange, consuming happiness in acting with the full knowledge that whatever one is doing, may very well be one’s last act on earth. What matters to a warrior is that they become impeccable - that every act counts.
     This is also the quality of mindfulness or awareness. It’s the quality of learning to live completely in each day, in each hour, in each action, in each communion or touching of another person.
     For Don Juan it means taking Death as an advisor – ‘Death over your left shoulder’. Realizing that [this year] may be it! That may be it for this particular dance for you - or even for the whole world. We don’t really know. And somehow to realize the shortness and the preciousness of it. And with that say – ‘How do I want to live?’

     The opposite of impeccability is half-heartedness. Think about it. Think of how many things in our lives we’ve done half-heartedly. We went to school half-heartedly some of us; or do our work, or some relationships which we ‘kind-of do’, or various other things. Those are the big ones. And then the little ones: of going for a walk in the woods and being so caught-up in a thought or worry or memory, we don’t smell the pine trees or see the ice as it glistens on the branches. It’s like it goes by and we’re on automatic pilot. Think again, for yourself, of the times you’ve lived most fully in your life.
     Those times when you’re really whole-hearted and you did something with all your energy, all your attention, all your body and spirit – all together. It doesn’t even matter how it comes out, when you live in that fashion. Just the quality of living and doing it completely itself is fulfilling. Think about the things you really put yourself into, and how they taste to you – they have a certain taste of sweetness from that fullness.
     This is the central quality of a spiritual warrior, of a man or woman of knowledge, is awakening this capacity to be full or impeccable or careful in relationship to the body, to breath, to movement, to all the physical elements, in relation to our emotions, to be aware and present with our desires, our actions. 
     And we can practice it in all kinds of ways. You can come to a retreat and be silent, and sit and walk, and sit and walk, and sit and walk, and sit and walk, and gradually, you know, very slowly, in it’s way, it gets nourished. And you find that on the fifth day of the retreat you’re reaching to take a cup of tea, and for a moment it becomes like the Japanese Tea Ceremony. And you’re just there taking a cup of tea. And it’s the only thing in the world, and you’re really there. It makes all those five miserable days worth it just even to have a moment like that. At least I think so. But it can be trained in all kinds of other ways – it’s not just through sitting."


Jack Kornfield. “Awakening is Real. A Guide to the Deeper Dimensions of the Inner Journey.” Sounds True (Podcast #2 The Way of the Warrior), 2012. 

 

Displacing Rather Than Suppressing

     It's very easy to be less than skillful, even for long-time meditation practitioners. Instead of observing with curiosity whatever arises, it's very easy to automatically judge & banish whatever we don't like, compulsively grab whatever we want, and thus miss much of the rest of life. 
     The "hardware" for this approach-avoidance dichotomy resides in every human brainstem. A lifetime of continuous mindfulness training allows us to override autopilot, and thus live increasingly more wisely.

      “When I find myself full of fear or desire, I remember that I am dealing with a brain and nervous system that has been hard-wired for millions of years for these emotions. Then I apply one of my favorite mantras, ‘I’m perfectly human.’ When I sit in meditation as a human being rather than as an individual, I feel I am part of a collective effort on the part of our species to right itself, to find a new sanity. As Robert Thurman says of meditation, ‘It’s evolutionary sport.’ In the light of that big perspective, I thank you for being on my team.”      Wes Nisker

 

Pippo of Villa Zuccari, Umbria, Italy

Difficulty Understanding & Connecting

     When we encounter new situations, statements, concepts, or ideas, to what degree are we aware that we actually have a conscious choice in how we respond? Whether we engage with OR avoid what's new, depends on our "readiness for change": http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/11/436-readiness-for-change-is-pivotal.html

      In retrospect, it's sad to think how many times (millions) we've automatically - with little or no conscious awareness - avoided the path of open-hearted conscious evolution. We may have interpreted these (missed opportunities) as: "I don't get it", "This is way too deep", "I'm confused", "This stuff puts me to sleep", "I'm a doer, not a navel-gazer," etc, etc. 
     But the fact is, we all have a lifetime's worth of perfectly legitimate reasons for being preoccupied with self-preservation & self-protection.  
     If our past has conditioned us to feel chronically frightened & unwanted, then our brain is specialized to manage feelings of fear & abandonment ie life feels like a chronic struggle to survive, and naturally, we'll tend to be in survival mode (rarely if ever appropriate in modern times).
     If, on the other hand, we've been conditioned to feel safe & loved, then our brain is specialized to explore, play & cooperate, so we'll naturally spend most of your time near the opposite end of the continuum ie life feels like a pleasant, interesting adventure, & we'll behave appropriately, & at times even wisely, regardless of circumstances. Bessel Van Der Kolk. “The Body Keeps the Score. Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma.” Penguin Books, 2015. 
     In this qualitatively different, universal but usually fleeting level of consciousness, we experience peace, ease, equanimity, clear awareness, timelessness, stillness, silence, effortlessness, loving-kindness, & joy.

     It may take some study of trauma combined with serious self-reflection before we realize the extent to which we've been traumatized, & therefore benefit greatly from therapy to help liberate us from our heavy conditioning. Hopefully, before we die or decline mentally, we become ready to transcend fearful narrow self-concern and open up to exploring & reconnecting with the big picture.

      Below is an excellent short (16min) video of Adyashanti discussing this readiness:

The Forest & the Trees

     Is the forest we live in a bad dream of desires, concepts, shoulds & regrets? For many of us, it is.
     But if we keep wiping sleep from our eyes & really look, there are real living individual trees all around us.

Kreber   www.dpreview.com

Self Concepts - Sense of Momentum or Movement, Magnetic Push or Pull

     Why do we cling so tenaciously to dysfunctional habits? And why do we instinctively avoid behaving in a mature, evolved, ethical manner ie wisely?
     We're conditioned to automatically obey a felt pull towards or push away from people, things or activities. We are used to allowing ourselves to be swept up by the momentum of this pull or push. See: http://mindfulnessforeveryone.blogspot.ca/2013/10/417-appreciating-even-prioritizing.html
     We (mistakenly) assume that this is natural, that "we're being ourselves." Consider for a moment that in order to feel a magnetic force or momentum, there must first be a stable physical entity - a solid, enduring, physical "self." This (fictional) "solid self" is what we're actually attempting to cling to. Egocentricity (self-centeredness) is literally a primitive, self-preserving instinct. The instinct is natural & automatic, we (still) have it, but it's literally designed & suited for animal life.
     Human beings, especially in our current complex highly integrated & interdependent society, must NOW intentionally accelerate the evolution of their consciousness from egocentric to allocentric & ecocentric. Civilized life is not at all about "me, myself & I," but about living in community. We must learn to become hypo-egoic before we completely destroy each other and our planet.

     See: http://www.johnlovas.com/2013/12/mindfulness-healing-artificial-splits.html

Only Keep the Heart Open Continuously

     When the heart is open, it's not closed. A powerful object of meditation is steadily monitoring the feel of the heart area: is it open, relaxed, warm? If not, it has closed due to self-centered fear. Let go - each microsecond - a fresh opportunity to exercise the heart-re-opening muscles - endlessly tirelessly gently keep returning to open-heartedly embrace whatever the present moment holds.

     “each moment of interpersonal contact is infused with both selfish and altruistic desire – with hunger and with love. … whenever my hungers diminished, love and compassion appeared. … love and hunger are intermingled … Since both are usually present, whenever one is attenuated, the other becomes more prominent. Imagine a jar of muddy water – if you let it settle and then remove the silt, what remains is clear. It is that simple: when hungers diminish, love remains.”     Kramer G. “Insight dialogue. The interpersonal path to freedom.” Shambhala, Boston, 2007.

     One word to remember - "OPEN"

     See: http://www.johnlovas.com/2013/10/choose-now-fresh-or-stale.html 

"We are so lightly here" - Leonard Cohen